Fan Fiction - Written by Doug Fowler - Alternative Universe

"I'm going to Disneyworld!"

That was the joking voice of Joey Gladstone, impersonating athletes who said that after winning a championship. He'd just won almost $100,000 on a slot machine, and - after it had been confirmed that he'd pulled the arm on the machine - the media near the resort/casino was interviewing him.

"Can we come, too?"

That was Stephanie Tanner, seven. Joey was a professional comedian who helped his best friend, Danny Tanner, raise his girls, Stephanie, twelve-year-old D.J., and two-year-old Michelle. He'd moved in after Danny's wife, Pam, died around two years earlier. So had Jesse Katsopolis, who was Pam's younger brother and a diehard rock and roller with his own band. Jesse and Joey were also in the advertising business.

"I think he's just joking," D.J. said. "Besides, you've been to Disneyland, a few weeks after the fog let up that canceled our one flight."

"But, D.J., Disneyworld is near a whole other ocean. That's like a different planet."

Joey put a hand on Stephanie's shoulder. "Trust me, Steph, it's just like our part of the planet. No place has blue leaves or green sky or red grass."

"Of course not; to have red grass you'd have to go to Mars." She turned to D.J. and asked, "They have grass on Mars, don't they?"

D.J. tried to explain what she knew about the red planet while Joey considered what he could do with the money. Housing was expensive in the Bay Area, but Pam's insurance had helped pay off Danny's mortgage. He knew there was a crawl space above the attic to store things - maybe he could pay to have the attic turned into another bedroom. But, Danny and Pam had talked about converting it if they'd had a boy a few years after Michelle. So, Danny still didn't like to think about that, if he didn't have to, since it reminded him of things that now couldn't be, since Pam wasn't here. He still had some problems when it came to that; for instance, he was nuts about cleaning, and turned down dates, or at least second dates, for crazy reasons.

"Oh," Joey said, "that reminds me, we'd better go find your dad; he is going to be amazed," Joey said.

Danny had just gotten Michelle ready for swimming lessons in the pool, which is where Joey and the girls found them. Meanwhile, Jesse and Danny's co-host on a local morning talk show, Rebecca Donaldson, were oblivious to all of this. Despite only knowing each other for a little over half a year, they were getting married. At least Danny and Pam had at least known each other for over three. And, Danny and Pam had become best friends right away, whereas Jesse and Becky hadn't gotten to know each other very well.

Still, they were getting married.

"Guess what?!" everyone said at once when they met later.

Stephanie noticed Becky's ring right away. "Wow, look at that ring! That's better than anything you could get in a cereal box."

D.J. studied the look on Becky's face. "Is that an engagement ring?"

"Engagement?" Stephanie thought for a second. "Isn't that what you do before you get married?" D.J. affirmed this. "Oh boy, you're gonna be our Aunt Becky someday! When is the wedding? Can I be flower girl? Wait, no, Michelle will want to be flower girl. Can I be a bride's maid? I just love weddings, they're so beautiful!"

"Yeah, they are." Suddenly, Becky was nervous. They hardly knew each other. And, would Jesse really feel like leaving if she wanted to go to a larger market someday?

Jesse didn't deny it right away. He said "well," then began stammering, recalling how upset he'd felt when he'd learned that Danny and Pam had eloped.

Danny said, "I'm proud of you, Jess. I remember you always said you were waiting for that special someone, and I could tell there was something between you two right away."

"Well..."

"I can help pay for the wedding! That's what I can do!" Joey explained about his jackpot.

Jesse often acted repulsed at how Joey seemed to tell jokes in every possible situation; Joey even watched cartoons regularly. Therefore, he momentarily forgot what he'd just done wedding. "Oh, great, we're gonna have our wedding catered by Bozo the Clown...wait a minute, we're already married. What am I saying?"

"What are you saying?" Stephanie repeated. "Well, you're saying that if Joey did it you'd have a wedding catered by a clown, and that you're already..." After a pregnant pause, Stephanie and the others said "married" at the same time.

"Yeah...we're married," Becky managed to utter.

As hugs were exchanged, Danny said, "Pam said the same thing after we eloped." He cleared his throat. "Jess...I don't have to tell you what Pam and I went through, but we made it. I won't lecture you on how you hardly know each other compared to Pam and I, or anything like that. I mean, it's done now, and the two of you are going to have to make a go of it yourselves somehow. Just know that you'll always have our support."

"Yeah, thanks, man. Well, I'm sure Becky will be happy here in San Francisco..."

"Wait a minute. Jess, what if I want to go to a larger market? I don't know for sure I want this to be my home forever."

"Well, sure you do, you're married now," Jesse said matter-of-factly.

Becky put her hands on her hips. "Well, so are you! Why can't you move if we want to!"

"Are you two fighting already?" Stephanie shook her head. "You could at least wait till after your honeymoon."

"Actually, I have an idea. I was thinking about taking Uncle Jesse and Joey to Hawaii in a few months for the two-year anniversary of them moving in; what do you say we make it a family honeymoon?"

Jesse shook his head. "No way; if we have a honeymoon it's going to be just the two of us in Graceland."

"Graceland? Nobody has a honeymoon in Graceland!"

"We will," he told Becky.

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm going someplace in the South Pacific instead!'

Stephanie rolled her eyes. "This will be one weird honeymoon."

"Uh, let's go to supper while Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky iron out their differences."

Jesse and Becky had a big argument - during which Jesse claimed it was a mistake because they were "totally different people." However, Becky convinced him that they should at least try it for a while, instead of him thinking it had to be all or nothing, so they did. They went to Bora Bora and Graceland, thanks to Joey's money, after a celebration with their friends and family in San Francisco.

Meanwhile, Jesse had moved into the place Becky was renting, and Stephanie got her old room back. D.J. was twelve and could babysit during the summer quite easily if Jesse and Joey were busy with their advertising, but Danny knew once the school year started, if not before, he'd need help. Therefore, he'd done what he planned to do long term if Joey had quit comedy.

A knock was heard on the Tanners' front door a couple months later. Danny rose and opened the door.

"Hola, Mr. Tanner. I hope your trip to Hawaii went well."

"Maria, come on in. It was great, thanks. You remember Jesse, this is his new wife Becky, and D.J.'s best friend Kimmy Gibbler; guys, this is the woman I told you about, our new nanny," he said, introducing them. The younger girls ran and hugged her; Maria hugged back warmly.

"This is so cool; it's gonna be just like 'The Sound of Music!'" Stephanie exclaimed.

Kimmy gave her a confused look. "You mean your dad's going to be drafted into the German navy?"

"Kimmy can be a little...confused sometimes," D.J. explained.

"More than a little. You know, after a couple months of meticulous interviews with contacts given to me from athletes and others I know, we narrowed it down to a few, and the way things went with you and the girls, Maria, I just know you'll do a good job. I figured we'd try it on a longer term basis. D.J.'s going out riding with Becky once more, since it's near the end of summer, Jesse and Joey have some work to do for the ad agency, and I can make some calls on next week's guests for our show, while you entertain the younger girls. I'll be up in my room, of course, if you need anything, but..."

Maria laughed, and held up a hand. "Really, I'm sure we'll have a great time." She'd grown used to Danny's rambling in the time she'd talked to him.

"I know; I'm just really protective, you know that. When Pam died, I don't know what I'd have done without the girls to watch, and Jesse and Joey to help. I could never stick them in a facility; I think it's vital to have as much one-on-one attention as possible. Of course, when Joey was going to quit comedy it was so sudden we had no choice but to look short term, but even then, I was also making some initial inquiries. And, it ended up he didn't get a ful-time job, which is good because you still had a charge, but the kids in that family are all grown so they didn't need you any more now, over a year later."

Kimmy glanced at D.J.. "It must have been nice when he read you bedtime stories when you were little - you could stay up all night listening to the story and never get to sleep."

"Actually, he'd talk us to sleep," D.J. remarked.

A little over a week later, D.J., Jesse, and Becky had arrived home from horseback riding on Becky's horse, Rocket, and a couple from the stables. "I tell you, Danny, I'm afraid it's happened," Jesse said later.

"What's that, Jess?"

He sat on a chair, shaking his head in a frustrated manner. He didn't like who he was becoming, and yet he couldn't figure out a way out of it. "All this time, I never put Michelle in timeout either, just like you and Joey. You know why? I was afraid she wouldn't like me; afraid I'd start yelling like my father. And here I am, arguing with Becky like my own folks did," he said, fed up with it.

"Well, Jess, it has gotten better over the last month or two," Danny pointed out. "You didn't know each other as well. But, at least now you've started to talk things out more. Earlier this summer you came over here after arguing about what paint to use in one room, and we had to convince you two to work it out."

"Sorry; I made the mistake of telling Kimmy you had been a legal alien before you got your citizenship a few years ago."

Maria laughed. "I have heard more interesting stories about you than I could have imagined, Kimmy."

"Nanny took us for ouce cream."

"We had ice cream, too," Maria joked, smiling at Michelle.

D.J. interjected that, "Michelle's behavior was pretty good, but you've really helped solidify things being here all day, Maria. It's a shame our dad won't date you, but I think your toes are a funny shape to him or something."

"Don't sell yourself short, Deej. You did a great job of holding down the fort till someone was here who felt confident in disciplining Michelle in the same way your mom did."

"Well," she hedged, "maybe. But, I'm a lot busier with school now than I was. I'm glad you came along with you did. Things have improved between Steph and me, too." She whispered, "I wish I could say the same for Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky. They sound like Steph and I would before we each got our own space back."

A short while later, Joey was sorting laundry and dreaming of Maria. "I've just met a girl named Maria," he sang. "No I didn't, I met her at the end of last month. Oh well, 'Last month I met a girl named Maria.'"

Becky tried to listen in to the baby monitor as Joey kept singing. She was incensed - Jesse was talking to Michelle about her! And, he was making her mad!

She stormed out. Peeking back in, she said, "Tell Jesse I'm walking home!"

"Okay. Maria," Joey sang as Maria entered.

"You called?"

"Why certainly, me Olive," he said, giving his Popeye laugh. Maria giggled. "Hey, what do you say we catch a movie?"

"Sure."

"Okay." He pulled a video out from under the laundry and threw it into the air - both caught it at the same time. They laughed together as he said, "I've always wanted to do that with a woman. Isn't our language strange?" She agreed.

"What are you two bozos up to," Jesse asked as he came down to find Joey and Maria tossing laundry into the air and catching it.

"Well, it started with us catching a movie," she confessed, "and we just got a little silly."

"What movie made you start catching things in the air?"

"No, see, Joey threw up the movie..."

"Joey threw up a movie?" Stephanie said as she entered the kitchen. "You just ate too much tonight, Joey."

"No, see, I asked if we should catch a movie. So, once Maria said yes, I threw the one I had picked out for us into the air."

"So that's how you two spend your time." Jesse shook his head. "maria, you do realize you're in a dating relationship, not a nanny to caregiver one," he said bluntly.

Maria laughed. "Jesse, I find Joey very enjoyable. Handling children all day takes time and patience, just as you learned when you moved in. Joey helps me unwind. And, I think after working on ads all day, he needs that release just as much."

"Yeah, well for your information, he's been using that release his whole life. Anyway, I'm a lot calmer now, where's Becky?"

"She walked hiome," Joey explained.

"What? Are you kidding? If she didn't want to take the car I still have my motorcycle parked around here."

"She probably needed a little release, too," Maria remarked.

"Thanks, I guess I better go home and talk to her before I go practice with the band tonight. I got a little time yet." He left, and Joey and Maria went down to his room to watch. He'd wondered if the right woman would ever come along, but Jesse kept encouraging him to try this one out, since she loved kids. She was around his age, too. And, now it was working well.

Jesse only wished his and Becky's worked just as well. Why had he decided to get married so suddenly? And, why had she said yes?

Jesse was stunned when he heard Becky had walked home, but he was even more stunned when he learned Becky had overheard him on the baby monitor. When he arrived home, she was packing an overnight bag. "What's that for?" he asked.

"What's it for? It's for arrogant, stubborn, pigheaded," she ranted, repeating just what she'd heard him saying about her on the baby monitor.

"Now, wait just a second, were you listening in to our conversation. That was supposed to be between me and Michelle."

"I have a right to know what my husband thinks of me, and I won't stand for it!"

"Well, that's why I was glad you walked home, so you could calm down!"

"I will not just 'calm down' when I hear you saying those things!" After a loud argument, Becky cried, "That does it! I'm going home to my..." She tried to think of where she could go - Nebraska was way too far. "I'm going home to my co-host!" She took the bags she'd packed and stormed out the door.

D.J. opened the door a few minutes later. "Aunt Becky, what brings you here?"

"Becky, are you all right?"

"Can I spend the night here? Jesse and I just had a huge fight."

"Sure; do you want to sleep in my room?"

Stephanie overheard while having a bowl of cereal before bedtime. "I thought you didn't want a roommate."

"Well, it's just for tonight; I'm sure they'll get back together in the morning, after Uncle Jesse gets done with his late night practice with the band. After all, Grandpa says he and Grandma Irene do the same thing when they fight."

"I'm not so sure, Deej." Becky sighed. "I heard him calling me stubborn and pigheaded when he was talking with Michelle." She shook her head. "I'm just confused right now."

"Well, maybe we can interrupt Joey's date and you can talk to Maria," Danny offered. Becky said that sounded nice.

The next morning, Maria arrived bright and early, as was her usual custom. "Hey, Mr. Tanner, you know that kiss you interrupted last night," Maria joked. "Well, Joey and I picked up right where we left off."

Danny turned from scrubbing the countertop. "After thirty minutes? That's incredible."

"Well, I've been a nanny for over ten years. I've had plenty of time to learn how to hold thoughts while doing something with one of the children, then going back to it later," she said as Becky came into the kitchen from the living room, and Jesse from the back door.

"Speaking of children," Becky said as the girls came down the back steps. "What did you play at your rehearsal? 'He's So Vain'?"

"Actually..." Jesse couldn't help but laugh, but hid it quickly. "Uh, no, we just...played our usual songs."

"Oh, really?"

"Tell her what you said after you called to make sure she was okay over here," Maria suggested, trying to help them realize them still cared about each other.

Jesse tried to hide his sensitivity toward what had happened. "Nah, she doesn't want to hear that."

"Tell me," Becky insisted, folding her arms. "And it better not be more insults."

Maria explained, "Your husband said he kept playing 'Viva Las Becky.'"

"I knew it," D.J. said. "You two are still crazy about each other."

"Well..." Jesse didn't want to let Becky know how much he missed her, and how sorry he was about their fight.

"Come on, you two; kiss and make up," Stephanie insisted.

Maria cautioned her, "We shouldn't push it, it might be hard for them yet. Maybe we should let them get acquainted here for a while."

"Oh boy; does this mean another trip to the zoo?" Stephanie asked, hoping that it might. Danny had taken them once when Jesse and Becky were working things out earlier this summer.

"Sure, why not. Let's get your clothes on and get ready to go." They raced upstairs.

"She sure is great with them," Jesse remarked. "You got a great nanny, Danny. I hope everything goes well with her and Joey."

"You do great when you're here during the day, too." Danny told Becky Jesse had come a long way from when he moved into the house.

"I hope he's willing to come further," Becky said, upset at how Jesse had been acting, but still willing to show her soft side a little, even after that argument.

Jesse sighed and meandered over to Becky. "Aw, Beck, I just hate it when we fight. I mean, you start off by acting stubborn..."

"Oh, no, you're the one who starts it off by sounding stubborn..."

"No, you..." He turned slightly. "What is this, we're fighting about how we argue. This may be our dumbest argument yet."

Danny suggested both go into the living room and talk. "You know, I told you about Jesse's parents, and you've seen how they argue. I think Jesse wants to break that cycle, but he just isn't sure how."

Becky concurred. "Well, I can suggest this. Instead of insisting on our own way, how about we always talk about our problems between each other all the time, and nobody else unless we really can't figure it out on our own. And then both of us talk to that third person together." She laughed. "Even if it's Michelle." She was willing to admit that sometimes she could be a little stubborn, but only if Jesse was willing to admit he was more so. As it was, though, she said, "The important thing is not to remember the past in our arguments. I mean, sure, I think Graceland was a..." She caught his look. "Well, not fun. But you loved it. We shouldn't do things because we have to; we should do them because we want to. And, even though we're married, we don't have to do every single thing together."

Jesse put his arms around Becky, and they embraced. "You're right. But you know, I'll go riding with you anyway, because I've come to realize that I have one very special women there on those horses." They kissed. "Have mercy." They kissed more as the others came down.

"Wow, what did you say to them?" Stephanie asked as Joey came upstairs and gave Maria a good morning kiss.

"It looks like your dad applied super glue to their lips," Joey joked. Maria told him where they were going, and asked if he wanted to come. He did.

It was Memorial Day weekend, on a Saturday. Jesse and Becky kissed. "In another few days it'll be our two year anniversary. The best two years of my life," he remarked.

Becky agreed. "Those first few months were rough, but we've really learned a lot about each other. Let's not spoil the moment for these newlyweds, though."

Stephanie came running out with the video camera. "Here they come," she shouted.

Joey and Maria came out the door of the chapel, with everyone throwing rice at them. The crowd milled around before going to the reception, when Michelle suddenly said, "I didn't throw broccoli at you, Nanny, 'cuase I'd get sent to my room."

"That's true," Maria said. "Did you want to throw broccoli?"

"Of course. I like rice. I don't like broccoli."

Maria patted her on the head. "Well, you did a good job of obeying the rules." Inside, she found it hard not to laugh. Though Danny had started disciplining Michelle over half a year ago, she still found herself as one of the primary rule makers in the family. And, more importantly, Michelle was turning into a sweet, well behaved girl who always listened and who was very devoted to her nanny, just like she might have been a mom.

Michelle had struggled at first with the loss of one mother figure - Jesse - though with his being there most of the time during the day, it hadn't been as hard. However, Maria knew it wouldn't be fair to take her away from another. "Mr. Tanner, thanks again for promising to fix up the attic for Joey and me."

Danny grinned broadly. He'd gotten over any pain over losing Pam caused by the thought of fixing up the attic when it became absolutely necessary, just as he would have for Jesse and Becky if it had been. "Hey, no problem. And please, I insist you call me Danny now."

"Well, it seems awkward professionally, but...I guess I am family now," she said.

Becky agreed. "We all are. And, there's going to be more, too."

Maria shrieked. "Are you pregnant?" She nodded.

"Becky and I agreed she'd come out on tour this summer with me and the band, she's not due till late in the year," Jesse said. "We just found out yesterday."

"Tell them about the house," Danny said, excitedly finishing for him. "There's a house down the street that they're buying, too, so they'll be on our block. Isn't this great!"

Jesse noticed the look in Danny's eyes. "I know what you're thinkin', man. If only Pam could see this, huh?" He agreed.

"I think it's one of those things where bad things can be made to turn out good," Maria commented. "I mean, look at your decision to elope. That was way too soon, yet it works out like that sometimes, if the people are willing to try."

"Yeah. I guess we've made it through all sort of things as a family," Jesse said as he and Becky kissed.