Fan Fiction - Written by Doug Fowler - Book Universe

Michelle's Night Out
Written by: Doug Fowler

Tom Burkhard's "Bachelor of the Month" is the inspiration for this, but of course, in the Book Universe, Teddy probably isn't there - he certainly never moved back, so he may not have been there to begin with - and Michelle doesn't have her first sleepover till age eight, so there's no reason for Teddy to be there like int hat ep.. Michelle's a bit more complaint, but I suspect she still asks a different person, creating a different set of silly things.

Sweet And Sour Sixteen

"You be the Daddy, and I'll be D.J.."

Cassie Wilkins smiled at her friend. The five-year-olds were playing "house" in Michelle Tanner's room. Michelle had done the same thing a few other times when they were playing - sometimes she was D.J., sometimes her Uncle Jesse, sometimes other family members. As if every family had the same parts.

"Why don't you be the Mommy?" Cassie asked.

"I don't know how," Michelle said sadly.

"Oh yeah," Cassie murmurred in a near whisper. She'd forgotten that Michelle didn't have a mother. The notion of a mother dying was a little scary to her.

Michelle tried to make her friend feel better. She could tell Cassie looked sad. "It's okay. Come on, let's play. This doll did something really bad." She picked up one of her dolls.

"What did she do?"

"Mmmmm..." Michelle couldn't think, so she said, "We'll worry about that later. Send her to her room."

"If it's really bad, shouldn't she be grounded?"

"No. You're the Daddy. You send her to her room. I'm D.J.. I come in and yell."

Cassie chuckled. She knew Michelle's sisters were pretty tough on her sometimes; sometimes tougher than her dad. One of the first times she'd been over at the Tanner home, she'd heard Michelle say "duhhuh" to her Uncle Jesse. When she said her mom would never let her talk like that to her, Michelle had blushed slightly and said, "Neither do my sisters."

"Maybe your sisters are like Mommies," Cassie suggested, trying to imitate adult small talk.

"Maybe. What do Mommies do?"

"My mom lets me come in bed and snuggle in the morning."

Michelle smiled. "D.J. likes doing that with me. Stephanie does sometimes, too, since we share my room."

"My mom always loves me. Even when I'm bad," she added in a lower voice.

Michelle nodded. That was her family, all right. And, that included her sisters. They could get quite upset when Michelle had a "bad attitude" - when she was acting really bossy or rude. But, she could tell they loved her, even when they yelled, or when D.J. punished her while babysitting.

"Moms can answer anything. They know everything."

Michelle agreed. "My Daddy and Uncle Jesse and Joey do, too. So do my sisters. Stephanie's nice. She even tells me the time before she answers."

Cassie raised her eyebrows. "She does?"

"Right. One night I asked why the sky was blue. She said, 'Michelle, it's 2:30 in the morning!'"

"Cool. My mom loves reading to me, and tucking me in at night."

"That's nice. I guess they are kind of like Mommies," Michelle considered aloud.

At that moment, Michelle's dad, Danny Tanner, came home from work. He walked up to Michelle's room, and gave her a big hug and kiss. "How was school today, honey?"

"Great. You'll be home tonight, right?"

"Aw, honey, I can't tonight."

Michelle gave him a sad look. "You never tuck me in anymore."

"That's not true. I did once last week." Danny had been named "Bachelor of the Month" by a San Francisco area magazine, and suddenly every woman around seemed to want to go out with him.

He would have stayed home tonight, since Michelle had told him before she missed him. But, he really wanted to go on this date - it was with Vicki Larson, a woman who worked at the same TV station where Danny hosted his morning TV show. He wanted to show her he was a nice guy.

Danny tried to cheer Michelle. "Look, sweetheart, all this will be over in a while. Until then, you love having your Uncle Jesse or Aunt Becky or Joey or your sisters do it. You have lots of fun with them, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess," Michelle said as he left. She'd tried to sound brave. But, what she really wanted was to be with her dad.

If he was going to be gone, though, she supposed she would have to go with him.

"What's wrong?" Cassie asked.

"Daddy's been out all the time in the evening." Michelle thought a second. "I know. Let's sneak into his car and go with him." Michelle noticed Cassie's worried face. "Come on. You can call your mom and ask to spend the night."

"I can't go out after dark."

"You'd have a buddy with you," Michelle reasoned.

Cassie shook her head. "If my mom caught us sneaking out like that, even with a buddy...I don't know what she'd do."

"I guess you're right," Michelle said with a sigh. "D.J. would get really mad, too. And Stephanie would be scared. So, she might yell even louder." And as for what they would do? If she went with Cassie, it wouldn't be as bad as if she snuck out herself with nobody knowing. But, she still probably wouldn't have desert till she was old enough to drive to the ice cream stand herself. And in her five-year-old mind, that would be like a hundred years. If she went without her, she might not leave her room till she was old enough to drive, if her sisters had anything to say about it.

Cassie could tell her friend really wanted to go. "We could ask my mom to take us. She might say 'yes.'" Cassie wasn't sure if she would even consider it. But, she'd been taught to always be nice and offer to help.

"Let me ask my sisters. If they won't go, I'll call you."

After dinner, Michelle joined Stephanie in their room. "Stephanie," she asked, "I need someone to sneak into the back of Daddy's car with me."

Stephanie looked up from the book she'd begun to read for homework, and gazed strangely at Michelle. "What do you think this is, 'Hogan's Heroes?'" Stephanie had watched the show several times. It was syndicated on the independent TV station where her dad worked.

"What's that?" Michelle walked from the table where she had placed her coloring book over to Stephanie's bed.

"Never mind. You know it's close to your bath time."

"I know. And Daddy won't be here to tuck me in again. Pleeeease," Michelle begged.

Stephanie sighed as she laid her book down. She took Michelle's hands in hers. "Michelle, Dad's going to be having dates like this for a few more weeks. He's really anxious to go on this one. Besides, don't you like it when one of us tucks you in?"

"But you're not Daddy," Michelle said in a strong pleading tone.

Stephanie sighed. She knew their dad was getting ready for his date. She supposed she could take Michelle, and they could do as she suggested.

However, she also knew that Michelle needed to learn sneaking around wasn't a good idea. "Well, sneaking out isn't very nice. I'll try to help you. But,...I'll be right back."

"Hurry, Daddy said he's leaving soon," Michelle insisted.

Stephanie jogged across the hall and knocked on D.J.'s door. "Who is it?" she heard. "It's Stephanie."

When D.J. told her she was busy, Stephanie said, "It's about Michelle. I need to know how to handle something."

D.J. opened the door while her best friend, Kimmy Gibbler, remained on the bed studying - or, rather, looking at D.J.'s notes and doodling.

"Hey, blondo," Kimmy said as Stephanie entered the room. "Did you know we were learning about Emperor Norton in state history class? Some kids actually said I reminded them of him?"

D.J. smiled as she looked back at Kimmy - her friend could be a real air head, and quite weird sometimes. However, she wasn't nearly as weird as the strange local character who published odd decrees in the paper and called himself Emperor of the United States back in the 1850s and 1860s. "They don't know what they're saying," D.J. assured her. She closed the door.

"I'll say. How can I be an emperor? An emperor is a type of penguin."

Stephanie gazed at Kimmy's wild outfit as she and D.J. stood near the bed. It had many diversely colored swirls on it - it was like many of Kimmy's other odd fashions, straight from the 1970s. "Well, you're certainly not in black and white," Stephanie deadpanned before turning to D.J..

Stephanie tried to be brief - though the way she rambled, that was hard. "Deej, look, Michelle's really missing Dad being there at bedtime or something. She asked me to sneak into the car with her so she could go with him tonight. She said she had to have someone along with her."

D.J. shuddered for a second, thinking about how dangerous that could be if Michelle went herself without their dad knowing. "Well...first, Steph, pile as much praise as you can on her for knowing she had to go with someone. That would be so dangerous if she went herself and Dad didn't know...I don't even want to think about what all kinds of bad things could have happened. She's wandered before, but thankfully only in the daytime, and around this block."

"Yeah, you're right. So, what should we do? I don't really want to go out at night like that. It's kind of spooky, in a way. I remember when we were camping this past summer, I had to crawl in your tent."

"Right, and Dad made sure Michelle stayed with him in his. Maybe she remembers that, or she just knows it's scary, or she wants to please us. Whatever it is, we must be doing something right, if she came to you. I'm going to do the same thing, lots of praise, along with reminding her how lucky she was that she did ask." D.J. thought for a moment. "Of course, now what do you do?"

"Anything to make sure she doesn't go herself," Stephanie declared. She, too, was anxious about Michelle getting lost or worse if she followed Danny on his date alone. She'd go with Michelle if she had to; but, first, she wanted to hear what D.J. had to say.

"You're right. I'd rather she not be sneaking around with anyone. Tell you what. Go down to Joey's room in the basement, and see if he'll take you two on a date."

"Okay. And if he won't?"

D.J. thought for another moment. "I guess I'd call one of your friends and ask their mom, or something. It's a little late to talk to Dad tonight about this. And, personally, I don't want you two sneaking around, either. But, I can't exactly go with you. I'm not little enough to squeeze under the back seat like you two could."

Stephanie thanked her, then took Michelle downstairs to see Joey. Joey suggested that instead of going right away, they get there about 20 minutes later. "It'll be less crowded then," he explained. "Plus, we don't want him to know we're following him."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, Steph, that just sounded like the right thing to say. After all, you said Michelle was talking about sneaking into his car."

Stephanie smile. Joey was just like a big kid sometimes. His playfulness made him the perfect person to do something like this. She laughed when he called and made reservations for "Flintstone," so Danny wouldn't accidentally peek at the reservation booklet.

About 20 minutes after Danny and Vicki had walked into the restaurant, Joey, Stephanie, and Michelle walked into it. Instantly, Joey noticed that Danny was not in the crowd waiting in line. So, he walked up to the hostess.

Stephanie, meanwhile, looked at Michelle with a hint of warning. She'd piled lots of praise on her, like D.J. said. But, the thought of Michelle coming here herself still scared her a little. "You may have thought I yelled at you when you were four and wandered around the corner. But I can get a lot louder. Be glad you realized you needed someone to come with you."

"Of course. You're the best sister in the world."

"Tell me that again when we see Dad," Stephanie said worriedly, suddenly realizing that she didn't have a clue what she would use as her excuse for being there.

They walked up to the hostess just as Joey was announcing their arrival. The hostess was a little skeptical. "You're the Flintstones?"

"Yeah, sure. You don't believe us?"

"'s just weird sounding, that's all. I mean, I never thought you could actually meet the Flintstones."

"Well, why not. They're a modern stoneage family."

"From the town of Bedrock," Michelle belted out singing. "Tear a page right out of history!'

Stephanie looked askance at her. "Michelle, it's 'they're a page.' Why would someone want to tear a page out of a book?"

"When Ronnie did it, the teacher said it must be 'cause he wanted a timeout."

The hostess stifled a giggle. "All right. Right this way." She showed them to a small booth for four. Joey sat across from the girls.

"Whoa, it's crowded," Michelle blurted as Joey looked at the menu.

"See, Michelle? Aren't you glad you came to me?" Stephanie said with a smile that held a hint of a warning.

Joey knew it was important to tell Stephanie that it was also very wise for them to come to him. However, his mind was focused on the large desserts the restaurant served. "Hey, look at this deep dish apple pie. Wow, that looks yummy. And this one thing with honey, Winnie the Pooh probably doesn't get that much honey in a week."

"Let's look for Daddy," Michelle said as she stood and grabbed Stephanie's hand.

Stephanie sighed. "Michelle, they have desserts here. Don't you want something else to eat?"

"Hmmm." She tapped her chin for a second, then said, "That's a tough one."

Joey rose from his seat. "Tell you what, it's going to be a few minutes till we can order anything; it looks pretty crowded. Why don't we go over to the restrooms, and look on the way there. But, stay with me."

"Okay." Stephanie took Michelle's hand, just to be safe.

About halfway there, Michelle jerked Stephanie's hand. She began pulling her toward Danny and Vicki's booth. Joey shrugged, and decided to follow them. At least then, he'd be keeping an eye on them better.

Danny noticed Michelle first. "Michelle, what are you doing here?" She hummed and tapped her chin.

Joey, meanwhile, walked up to them and said, "Oh, the girls wanted to come celebrate..."

"The letter 'n,'" Michelle said, remembering the letter they'd studied in Kindergarten hat day. "It starts nice words like..." After a second, her eyes widened and she said, "Oh. Like nice."

"Well, I'm glad our educational system places such importance on the fourteenth letter of the alphabet. It also stands for nighttime, though," Danny said.

"That's right, Dad. And..." Stephanie thought for a minute. "This is a special treat, because..."

"Because Jesse had such a good hair day," Joey suggested.

"Right, Joey. And, he didn't bring us, because...we wanted to be nice and give him the night off." Danny tried to hide his chuckles as Stephanie tried to think of a way to continue.

"And it's someone's birthday," Michelle said happily.

"Michelle's right, Danny. Somebody in the world is celebrating a birthday right now."

"Let's find them. Maybe they have chocolate cake," Michelle suggested, following Joey's lead.

As Vicki finally let out a laugh, Danny said, "I'm sure one of those lucky tens of millions has some. But first, tell me why you're really here."

"We miss you, Daddy," Michelle said, trying on her best sad puppy dog look.

"No, Michelle. You missed him. I just wanted to make sure you didn't sneak into Dad's car yourself. And we asked Joey to take us," Stephanie corrected her.

After Joey confirmed it was true, Danny asked Michelle, "You were going to sneak into my car without my knowing and come here?"

"No, Daddy. I was going to bring a buddy," Michelle said sadly. "Are you mad at me."

Danny sighed. "Well, it's a good thing you made sure you came with someone. That could have been very dangerous. I hope you gave Stephanie and Joey a big 'thank you.'"

As Michelle thanked them, Vicki asked if Danny was going to introduce the newcomers. "Oh, yes, these are two of my daughters, Stephanie and Michelle, and my best friend Joey. Who is usually more responsible than this while watching them."

"Oh, yeah, I know you, you're Ranger Joe." Joey nodded.

"Well, now you know Michelle's with you, so..."

Danny took Stephanie's arm before she could leave Michelle. "Wait, Steph." He looked her int he eye and spoke quietly, but firmly. "I'm glad you brought Michelle. If it was between that, and her coming herself, I would always want you to do what you did. But, I also expect the truth. I won't complain this time, because you did the right thing. But, whatever you do, even if it's something wrong, I expect you to tell me the truth. I'll be a lot less likely to punish you if you're honest. Understand?"

"Yes, Dad."

"Are you going to punish me?" Michelle asked.

Danny sighed. "Well, I really should have explained what was going on better, and taken more time for you. Besides, if I know your sisters, you got a good talking to even for thinking of coming out here." Stephanie nodded slowly behind her. "Come on, you can eat with us, while Joey and Stephanie go back and celebrate the letter 'n.'" He looked at the menu. "Which happens to also stand for noodles."

"Okay, but can I get chocolate cake?"

"Well, it doesn't begin with 'n', but why not?"

Several nights later, Michelle snuck out of her room. She noticed that her dad wasn't in his room, nor was he in his office, though. He'd tucked her in, gone out for a quite late date, and not yet returned.

She then noticed her Uncle Jesse coming down from the third floor. "Can I have a midnight snack with you?" she asked.

Jesse smiled. Michelle liked to get up at night at times. When she was being good, she was allowed to have a snack, if she asked permission. Usually, she liked getting that from her dad, who would then join her. "Sure, come on down with me."

Michelle sat at the kitchen table while Jesse got some chucken legs out of the refrigerator. "Your Aunt Becky doesn't know I come down for these, so don't tell her, okay?"

"Okay. Uncle Jesse, is there really a Gibbler Monster?"

"A what?" He got Michelle a large chocolate raisin cookie, which she began to eat, and a glass of milk, and sat down again.

"Stephanie says the Gibbler monster is like Kimmy. Except Kimmy has no brain. But the Gibbler monster has no head."

Jesse paused for a second. "Well, you see...what your sister's are doing...well, for you own safety, I guess I'd better say 'yes.'" Jesse knew the other girls were trying to scare Michelle a little to make sure she wouldn't venture out at night.

Danny walked in the back door at that moment. "Hey, what are you diong down here, Michelle?"

"Uncle Jesse said I could," Michelle said before taking another bite.

Danny smiled as he sat next to her. "At least you didn't think about sneaking around, huh?" Michelle shook her head vigorously. She had heard a lecture that sounded like a brass band from her sisters. If she ever tried that on her own, it would sound like a huge orchestra.

At that moment, Joey came up the steps from the basement. "Oh, hey guys. You'll never guess what happened." He shifted to a Popeye voice, and said, "I was layin' in bed, mindin' me own business. Then, all of a sudden, I hears me stomache say..." Suddenly, the voice was that of Wimpy, as Joey said, "I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today." Joey finished by laughing like Popeye.

"Aw, man, now Joey's stomach does a different voice than he does. If he starts having any more body parts talk I'll go nuts," Jesse teased.

D.J. and Stephanie wandered donwstairs at that time. "Steph woke up and wanted to make sure Michelle was down here," D.J. explained.

"But, while we're here, can we have something too, Dad? Oh, by the way, how was your date?" Stephanie asked as the girls automatically headed for the refrigerator.

Danny snickered. "Fine. Boy, if you're raiding the fridge now, I hate to think what it'll be like when you have regular boyfriends," Danny joked. "Go ahead. Why don't we all sit here and just have another dinner while we're here."

"I'm not that hungry," Michelle said.

"That's just a joke, Michelle," D.J. explained.

Stephanie sat a glass of milk and a couple cookies on the table and sat as she said, "Besides, a really light snack with someone is one thing. But you don't want to come down here too much, or stay too long. Because the Gibbler monster will get you," she said in a hushed voice. "And spray you with her feet like a sknunk."

Michelle's eyes bulged as Danny chuckled. He didn't mind a little joking around from his girls - that was normal among siblings. Besides, he suspected this probably was more to make sure Michelle stayed in bed than anything.

D.J. reminded Stephanie, "Don't go too far. Kimmy deserves a chance to defend herself with her own wisecrack - when she can think of one." That didn't always happen with Kimmy.

"Well, that's true, she doesn't always." Danny sat in Michelle's chair and put her on his lap as he continued. "But, there's one thing I know. We've got a wonderful, loving family. And Michelle feels comfortable coming to us for things, no matter what, so when one of us messes up like I did, the others cover for them so easily. We must be doing something really good."