Fan Fiction - Written by Doug Fowler - Television Universe

Dr. Dare Rides The First Time
Written by: Doug Fowler

How do you think Pam reacted when jesse pulled his biggest Dr. Dare stunt? Here's one idea. Sequel to "Pushing the Limits," etc. - as noted within, probably the roles get reversed with D.J. doing this in the Book Universe, but Michelle's a little tougher in the TV universe and more used to thinking of more ornery kids, since she was one in the TV Universe.

Michelle Tanner held the still weeping girl in her arms and talked lovingly to her. She'd been this family's sitter for well over a year. D.J. was right; they knew she loved them. Still, it was frustrating when they were this wild - she thought of the "parents' curse," and imagined D.J. had uttered it a few times. Except in Michelle's case, it was, "I hope you grow up to have charges like you."

And, there was still part of her that worried, even as she comforted the girl. "I love you; I wish I hadn't had to be so tough." She could never hurt anyone's body. She was willing to hurt their feelings, as she had with kid, something she'd discussed with the family when they'd gone over how the family disciplined, but even that was hard for her.

Her mom had died when Michelle was a baby. Her dad had had his best friend Joey and their Uncle Jesse move in to help raise her, Stephanie - then five - and D.J. - then 10. However, Jesse and Joey ignored a lot, Jesse was her mother figure for a good while and had a "do what you feel like" attitude at times, and Danny was just plain inconsistent, even after starting to punish Michelle. And, he hadn't done that till she was almost four.

If it wasn't for D.J., Michelle would have been so incredibly wild even as a little kid, nobody would believe it. Still, nobody in the family had believed in hitting, so as she wiped away the girl's tear, Michelle had to wonder if she'd done the right thing.

"We talked about this, didn't we? You'll be good now, right?" Michelle asked.

"Yeah." Another sniffle. "I'm sorry, Miss Michelle."

"Sorry you did that, and not just that you got caught, right?" She agreed.

Michelle was babysitting to have money for college; she'd started with them as a junior in high school, and this fall would still be babysitting them. The parents appreciated her. But, today, she felt extra deflated. D.J. had told her, after she first mentioned it, Michelle had hit a doll playing a few times, the way kids learn about something by doing. She'd even fwapped their Uncle Jesse playfully once, causing him to think their Aunt Becky was copying Michelle while being frisky; hence he said, "Was Uncle Jesse a bad boy?" instead of just "Was Jesse...?" In fact, it was a chimp hitting him, instead.

Still, it was frustrating even to talk about it with anyone; far different than playing. After her babysitting duties were over for that day, Michelle called her oldest sister, D.J..

D.J. could tell something was wrong. "You must have had a rough one, huh?"

"You know how the Johnsons told me I could spank if I had to?" Michelle told D.J. what happened. "I'd do it just like you said you would, real gentle and all, but still, it was so hard seeing her cry even when we talked about it."

"But, did she learn her lesson?"


"And, you said you tried everything else first?" She had. "I know it's rough, but I know you'd handle it just like I said I would have."

"I know, but you never had to," she mourned. "You were always so good to me; even at my worst." Michelle was extremely thankful that they'd always talked things out. "The Johnsons liked your idea of what they call 'mercy spankings,' they said they'd try that, too, and it's worked for them the couple times they did it. But, still, it was hard today."

D.J. reminded her that, "It was my glowing letter of reference that helped land you the job; I knew you could handle it. You've grown so much in the last few years, even; you were senior class president this past year, in fact."

"A lot of good that did me today. You know what the biggest problem is, Deej? Dad and the others in our family never even considered it. Even our Uncle Jesse was such a rebel and he never got it from his parents." Michelle couldn't help but chuckle. "I remember something...I couldn't tell you how old I was, but something about you threatening it, and we talked about it. And, he told me about how he was Dr. Dare, and how Mom had always put him in his place. He said he knew he always had to listen to his oldest sister, and I should, too. And, I did."

"Yeah, you asked if she was going to spank him if he went too far. And then, he just shook it off and said he was a grown man by then."

"Yep, that's the time. I mean, she never even did that to him." She could tell D.J. hedging a little bit. "Wait a minute...did she?!" Michelle was stunned.

D.J. didn't know how to explain best, except to say, "Well, Michelle...he told me about this once. Maybe I better start at the beginning."

It was 1983, and D.J. Tanner was six years old. She was dancing merrily in the living room while singing "Yankee Doodle."

"That's wonderful, honey. 'wonderful' okay?" Danny asked hesitantly.

"'Wonderful' is fine, Dad. It's just 'cute' I can't stand." One of Pam's friends had been visiting with her two-year-old, Ian, yesterday, and called D.J. cute as she was showing off what she'd do in the school play. She was so upset she ran up to her room; she hated to be called "cute." That was for babies. "I'm playing 'Yankee Doodle' after all. I want to be the most patriotic kid there. I can't do that being 'cute.'"

Danny sighed. "Honey...I understand you wanting to feel grown up and everything. But, you're still at the age where you seem...well...cute yet."

"Dad," D.J. said, a little frustrated. After a second, she realized she shouldn't be so upset at him. "I know Ian's mom didn't mean anything bad. I just don't like being called cute, okay?" she said more humbly.

"Okay." Danny glanced at Stephanie, not quite two, who was playing with blocks on the floor. "You're just growing so fast, Deej. And, I just want you to keep being my little tennis ball head. I know you think of Stephanie as the baby now. But, don't grow up too fast, okay?"

"Okay, Dad," she said with a big smile. "I guess that piggyback ride to Kindergarten last year was pretty fun."

"You bet." They hugged.

D.J. continued to dance and sing that Saturday morning as their mother, Pam, was in the bathroom. Suddenly, Danny turned his attention from the paper and zoomed over to the mantle. In what seemed like seconds from his last glance at her, Stephanie had climbed almost to the top. "No climbing," he said a little loudly. He grabbed her and sat her in a chair. As he did this, Stephanie started crying big tears. No sooner had Danny told her to sit in that chair than he found himself melting at her tears.

Pam rushed downstairs at the sound of her baby wailing for a second because of the suddenness of Danny's shout. "What happened? Is everything all right?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes...yes, everything's fine. Stephanie just climbed to the top of the mantle. Honey, Daddy's sorry he scared you and made you cry," Danny said, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping her tears as Stephanie was down to mere sniffling by now.

Pam was amazed and a little anxious about Stephanie's climbing, but Danny was having second thoughts about making her sit. "Danny, you did the right thing making her sit like that. Wow, we've got a real athlete on our hands if she's climbing like that!"

"I know...I'm sorry, Stephanie, I shouldn't have scared you," Danny said tenderly. He told her she could get up, and then before she could, he picked her up and hugged her. "Daddy just doesn't want you climbing where you can hurt yourself. That was very dangerous to climb up there," he said softly as he sat and cuddled her. "That's why you had to sit there for a minute." He turned to D.J.. "Deej, pay extra close attention to your sister now, in case this is the start of a major climbing phase."

"Okay, Dad," she said, a little tiredly.

Pam could tell the request wearied D.J. a little. She knelt and put an arm around her. "I know, we've talked about how you don't like it sometimes if she gets so much attention. But, if you help her now, she'll need less attention later. You're such a good big sister," Pam said enthusiastically with a broad grin. Soon, she was giving her a pep talk about all she could do to help, and it worked.

Back in the present, Michelle muttered, "It must have been so nice to know Mom."

"You'll meet her someday, far beyond the clouds. But, yeah, I know you feel like you missed out sometimes. But, that's partly my fault, too; I should have been more proactive from the start, and tried to be more like Mom, instead of just reacting. Then, you would have been a lot better behaved, and not been used to thinking about what you wound up doing." D.J. chuckled. "Of course, then Steph or I might be the ones babysitting for that family. I'd probably have been the one to do what you did today."

"I'd gladly have let you," Michelle said glibly.

"Well, Kimmy's going to have a kid someday, and she..." How would D.J. put it so as not to insult her friend? "Well, she won't be the best at keeping control of things. And, if she didn't have me to copy off of, you might wind up watching her kid just because you plan to have that home daycare someday. So, it would probably turn out even." Kimmy was D.J.'s very weird and dumb best friend, who disdained anything with work in it.

"Yeah, like when she let Nicky and Alex put finger paint all over everything that time," Michelle agreed. "I thought this was a story about Uncle Jesse, though."

"I'm getting to that. Anyway, Mom was surprised that Dad timed Steph out at that young an age, when he'd waited till around when I was three before being willing to send me to my room. Mom always had control of things, though, and still had to do most of it for a few months. For a while Dad only put her in timeout for climbing. He was really glad he'd started, though, when he kept reading the newspaper..."

"Whoa, baby," Danny exclaimed. "I don't believe it!"

D.J. walked over to him, ignoring the cartoons that she'd turned on. "What is it, Dad?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing..." He nervously closed the paper.

Pam had just changed Stephanie's diaper. She carried her over to the couch. Sitting next to Danny, she let Stephanie crawl on him a bit to help reinforce that he wasn't scary. As Danny cuddled the toddler, and let her crawl all over him, Pam encouraged her that that was the proper place to climb. Then, she took the paper off of Danny's lap. "Okay, let's see what got your dad excited," she told D.J..

"Pam, do you have to? I mean, you don't really want D.J. to see that."

"See what, Dad?" D.J. asked.

Pam figured about where Danny had had the paper open to, and began skimming. Meanwhile, Danny kept trying to stall. "Dear, we don't want to scare D.J., and besides, what if she tries the same thing?"

"Your father is so protective," Pam said as she skimmed. D.J. crawled onto her lap, looking anxiously, though she couldn't read the paper really well.

Danny, as always, finally relented, in the face of his loving wife's determination. If she said it was okay, then perhaps it was. "Well, okay, we can tell her, but I mean...why can't we keep her innocent and not let her think someone can..."

Pam had spotted it, and was reading as Danny rambled. "Oooooh, that Jesse!" She grumbled slightly. "I can't believe even he would do something like this!"

"Why, what is it?" D.J. asked. "Is he okay?"

"Yes, but he is totally nuts!" She read from the article. "Yesterday evening, a motorcycle stunt man was seen riding on the ledge..." She fumed. "He could have broken every bone in his body!" Pam forced herself to become calm, and explained what Jesse had done.

D.J. turned to Stephanie and shook a finger at her. "It's a good thing we put you in timeout for climbing so you don't do that," D.J. scolded.

Pam could tell Stephanie was a little anxious, seeing that she was upset. "It's okay, Stephanie, Mommy's fine." She wanted to be the best, and knew that to do that, she had to keep her cool in front of the girls. Even at a time like this. "He's not a criminal or anything; at least not yet, though it says the police cited him. But, after this stunt..." She shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to say, but believe me, when I get over to his apartment, I'm going to say it!"

"Should we pray for him?"

Pam smiled broadly at D.J., grateful that she remembered that at a time like this. Pam was so proud that her little lessons were paying off. They were as consistent as some at going to church, but she tried to get the girls there every Sunday, even if Danny was more interested in cleaning. "You're right, thanks," she told her. They prayed, and afterward, Pam said, "I know, I get excited sometimes. I need to give myself a moment to calm down before I go over there. And to find a medical dictionary so I can tell him what all he could have broken," she joked. She believed in always giving away smiles, and wanted to put some humor into a frustrating situation.

Jesse Katsopolis and some of his friends were hanging around his apartment laughing about the stunt he'd pulled the previous night. It was early in the afternoon, and he loved his life of adventure. The long-haired, leather jacketed man smiled and said, "There is no dare I cannot do now."

"Yeah, way to go, man," one of the guys cheered.

"The look on that cop's face was priceless - when he was writing that citation he still looked as shocked as he probably was when he saw you up there," another said.

"Yeah, so he wrote me a citation," Jesse said in a cocky manner. "I don't care what the fine is, what maters is, nothing can stop the incredible Dr. Dare."

As the other band members laughed, a loud knock was heard at the door. One of the men, Pete, opened it, to reveal Pam Tanner. "Hey, Dr. Dare, it's your big sister."

"I need to speak to 'Dr. Dare' alone," Pam insisted.

"Hey, Pam, come on in, we're havin' a party," Jesse invited.

Pam walked in, studied the beverages being consumed, and said, "Good, at least none of you is trying to get my brother to start drinking."

"Well, who invited Molly Pitcher?" one of the band members, Roger, asked.

Pam looked puzzled for a moment, before figuring out what the fellow meant. "Do you perhaps mean 'Carry Nation'?"

Jesse sauntered over to her. "Molly, Carry, what's the difference; only important thing is, are they free Saturday nights?" Pete laughed, and the men exchanged high fives.

"Molly Pitcher was the nickname of a famous woman in the American Revolution. Carry Nation was the one who went around smashing saloons with her hatchet," Pam explained matter-of-factly, turning to the fellow who had called her "Molly Pitcher." "And, I'm checking because I want to make sure my brother isn't getting involved in anything bad. I've heard how some rock and rollers are."

"Thanks for that history lesson, Pam, but none of my buddies care. Only reason Roger knew 'Molly Pitcher' was 'cause he remembered hearin' the name in history class and thinkin' there was some girl who played big league baseball. Then, he got her mixed up with some other babe he'd heard about. Now, if you was to tell us about some good looking young ladies who are alive today, we'll listen," Jesse responded.

Pam spoke with a smile. "Jesse, I don't care if you and your friends don't want to know a thing about history."

"Good," he retorted.

"But, I do care that you and your friends care about common sense." She had wanted to speak to him alone, but her smile disappeared, as she was once again excited thinking about what could have happened. "Do you realize what all you could have broken?"

"Hey; Dr. Dare here never refuses a dare," Roger declared.

Pete told Pam, "I gotta admit, I even thought Jesse was a little crazy for pulling that stunt last night; I even reminded him he could die, in a way. But hey, we're young and we got no responsibilities."

"Yeah, not like you with all your kids and brains, too," Roger taunted.

"Excuse me, I'm trying to talk to my brother," Pam said.

"Oh, sure, like you're gonna tell him everything he could have broken," Roger chided.

Pam gave him a look. "You think I can't?"

"Roger, you gotta be careful when you get her riled up..." Jesse said.

"So, you're daring me to do that now, are you, Roger? Fine." Pam turned back to Jesse. "I'll tell you just what all you could have broken, Jesse Katsopolis! You could have broken your skull, your eye sockets, your cornea, retina, iris..."

Jesse and his friends look on with amazement as Pam rattled off every part of the body - bone and otherwise - she could think of. This was perhaps the most peculiar lectures in history, but it was helping her to let off steam.

Roger protested after a while. "Come on, that's enough, we're not in no medical school..."

"Listen, buster, you dared me, and I'm not finished. Your appendix, your spleen, your liver, your kidneys...!"

As she kept naming parts of the body, Roger protested further. "Hey, I only dare friends to do dangerous stunts, not recite medical textbooks!"

"Whoa, easy," Pete said to Pam as she stared hard at Roger.

Pam stuck a finger in Roger's chest. "Listen, Mister, if you keep daring them to do stunts like that, soon you won't have any friends left! He could have died!"

Roger responded with what, to Pam, was the worst insult; he spoke like he didn't care if Jesse had gotten hurt. "Hey, I told him not to fall, you can see it on the tape I made," he finally said.

Pam was really upset now; this wasn't the world where everything was on the Internet, it was really brash to make any kind of recording like that. "You even made a tape of it? What were you going to do if he had fallen?"

"I don't know," Roger joked, "that's why I told him not to fall."

Enraged, Pam got into a shouting match with him, until after one brash comment too many, she raised her hand back and almost gave him a slap on the rear. She stopped herself, but scolded. "Don't you ever talk about my brother like that! He is a human being and deserves to be treated like one, which means not daring him to do things like that! And that goes for all of you!"

The men were still in shock a little. Jesse turned to Pete. "You know, that argument's at a level I never wanted to take it with Pam." Pete nodded his understanding.

Pam stopped and though a moment, then looked at Roger with compassion. "Look, I'm sorry I almost hurt you."

Roger felt like the others were staring at him. "What, you think I'm a sissy? It wouldn't have hurt."

"Look, the point is that comment really upset me. It upsets me when anyone acts like they don't care a thing about my precious brother's life. I don't ever want you daring him or anyone else to risk his life ever again, understand?" Pam declared.

Roger felt the harsh glare as it seemed to pierce through him. "Yes, Ma'am," he blurted.

"Now, as for you, Jesse..." Pam stopped to think a second.

"You stopped at the large intestines," Jesse said in a slightly contrite manner.

"Look, this is why I wanted to talk to you alone, so things wouldn't get so riled up."

She hated to think of what it would be like to have a kid like Jesse, but felt light fwaps would be enough even then. She knew Danny couldn't stomach even that. Maybe she'd bring it up with Danny, though, even though she knew it would never be needed. She wanted to be the best, after all, and that meant planning for a kid like Jesse, just in case.

She asked them for a moment alone, and the others went into Jesse's bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Pam." Jesse hung his head.

"Okay." She smiled her warm smile again for a second, and put an arm around him. "I can't believe I did that. I just got so anxious, thinking of you hurting yourself. Maybe I have a little of Dad's temper, too."

"Nah, you don't got a temper. You're just tryin' to protect me. It's 'cause of you I'm not in no gang or doin' anything illegal. I never wanted to find out what you'd do if I did that kind of stuff. Now I really don't wanna find out." Jesse asked humbly, "You wanna just start back with the intestines?'

"Jesse, let's stop joking around for a second."

He sighed. He hated to face the truth, but knew Pam would make him if he didn't himself. "Okay. I blew it last night, didn't I?"

It was just like when she was a teen, before she got married. Pam hadn't had lots of influence in his life, except to make sure he wasn't doing anything really bad, since then. But, she felt she had to confront this now. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't know...I said how much fun it would be, and I got dared, and I felt like I had to."

"Jesse, what kind of friends don't care if you live or die? And, what kind of friend are you to yourself? Jesse, if you dream of getting a big recording contract, that's great, but you are not going to do it while you're in traction."

"Guess that would be kinda hard."

Pam said softly, "Jesse, friends who expect you to do dangerous things and don't like you if you don't are just as bad as those who would want you to do something illegal."

"If I say I really wanted to do it, even if they hadn't dared woudn't slap me, would you?"

She was tempted to say "yes," but valued his honesty over everything; she already had one thing hanging over his head if he went too far, anyway. She was the only one who knew he'd dropped out.

"No, but I might stick carrots up your nose." Pam giggled at Jesse's look - and at what his friends would say if they saw that. She knew that would be embarrassing enough. "What matters is, you better never do that again." She gave him a puppy dog look, until he finally promised. "Good. Now, if you want to let them dare you to do something like eat tarantulas, that's fine; they're a delicacy in some South American tribes."

"Aren't those the big hairy spiders? If they dare me to do that, do you think I can have 'em take the hair off first?"

"If they're really your friends, they won't make you do what you don't want to do, right?" Jesse agreed, and promised Pam to not do any more death defying stunts.

As the others came out, he tried to think of a way to tell them, but Pete spoke first.

"Hey, man, we was talkin' in there, and we decided your sister's right," Pete said. "Puttin' a friend up to somethin' that could get him killed is really a dumb idea."

"Yeah, I been thinkin' the same thing. For one thing, I didn't know there were that many parts to our bodies," Jesse explained.

Back in the present, D.J. finished. "Uncle Jesse's friends toned it down; that was his last death defying Dr. Dare stunt. Uncle Jesse thought about proving he was the old Dr. Dare when they came back to visit once, but then he realized he had a lot to live for. And, he probably heard a little voice that sounded like Mom, too. And, Pete told him that he really wised up when he decided not to that night."

"I'll bet. Boy, if I'd ever done anything like that..." Her eyes widened at the thought of D.J.'s reaction; she didn't want to think about it. "I guess that's why you figured you'd keep me from going too far when I was little, to make sure."

"Yep. And, I can just hear Mom saying she knew I wouldn't have to fwap, that just talking about it with you would be enough. You've really grown into a wonderful young lady. I feel kind of bad that you even had the concept of it as a possible punishment. But, if I'd been more proactive, you wouldn't have taken the job, but I might have."

"Yeah, and it would have been you dealing with them. I guess it turned out okay."

"Sure. Trust me; when you go there tomorrow, it'll be just like before. Those kids love you; I've talked to the parents. I didn't just give you a good letter of reference because of that old parents' curse - hoping you had charges just like you." They laughed. "I did it because you've grown into a loving, tender, and compassionate young lady."

"Thanks, Deej," Michelle said, filled with encouragement once more.

The next day, Michelle got out of her car, and found the kids she babysat rushing up to greet her - the oldest in the lead, just as D.J. had said. She greeted them warmly, hugging them and talking excitedly about what they'd do today, and how - even though college would start soon - she'd still be able to babysit a fair amount.

"That's good," Mrs. Johnson said from behind her. Michelle turned. "They love having you so much. We had a long talk about behavior last night, after you left. And, she told her little brother that you're just like us; you wouldn't hurt her bottom, just her heart." Michelle chuckled; it sounded just like an old "Family Circus comic strip that she'd seen once; one that sounded so much like what she might have said had D.J. ever done it.

"I'm glad she felt so loved."

"Well, we'd expect that; nobody likes punishing at all, especially when it has to be tough," Mr. Johnson said.

Michelle agreed. "Even God prefers being merciful," she remarked. "He wants people to come to him for forgiveness; like that story Stephanie says she told you about the car in the kitchen."

"Yes, I remember that one. I'm glad you're going to San Francisco State, too; we knew D.J. from there, and we knew from how she and Stephanie were, you'd be just as good taking care of the kids."

The couple hugged and kissed their kids and said goodbye. "Miss Michelle, let's play a game," the girl said, as she brought three games at once to her."

Michelle giggled the delighted giggle that reminded everyone of her mom. "You are as busy as a beaver, aren't you?" She hugged her and tickled her a little.

As the preschooler wrapped her arms around her, Michelle was amazed, in a way, that it was the same girl who had lost all her privileges, and been so wild. Then again, she knew she'd had problems with self control, too; their dad had just been right when he'd told D.J. she'd never have to go through the bottom to get to the heart, even lightly. These kids were just a little more wild. But, they were still special.

"You're the best, Miss Michelle," the girl said, with her brother insistently coming up and joining.

Michelle smiled as they snuggled. Stephanie was right - love was when you could love your kid even after she crashed a car through your kitchen. Or, when you could keep working on a kid brother like Jesse till he came to his senses, keeping him out of trouble.

Michelle felt bad for Pam; she hadn't lived to see Jesse's great turnaround. But, she could triumph over problems like Pam would have done, such as with these kids here.

"You two are the best, too," she said happily. "And, no matter what you do, I'll always love you one hundred percent!" And, she meant it. It was the same kind of love they'd always shown, whether it was Pam trying to keep Jesse in line, D.J. reacting with michelle, or Michelle having to go a bit further with these kids. Because the great thing about the Tanners was, they knew the importance of unconditional love.