Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9
Episode (11) 203 - Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
We find the whole family in the living room, when DJ walks in...
DJ: Guys, I have great news.
Steve: Pizza's have lower prices and more anchovy on them ?
Jesse: Elvis is not dead ?
Nicky: We get some cookies ?
DJ: No, none of that. Listen. Dad, what would you say if you would become a grandfather ?
Danny: You mean in about nine years ?
DJ: No, nine months. I'm pregnant.
Danny: (Confused) Pregnant ?
Steve: Congratulations, who's the father ?
DJ: You of course, silly.
Steve: How ?
Stephanie: Easy, a man and a woman love each other...
Steve: Oh yeah, I remember that part.
Danny: (Confused) Pregnant ?
Joey: Deej, how nice. I'm becoming a... a... friend of the grandfather.
Danny: (Confused) Pregnant ?
Michelle: Cool, I will be aunt Michelle then.
Alex: No you can't. You're already our cousin.
Becky: Deej, what do you think about it ?
DJ: I don't know what to think. It's nice, but it's already.. I planned it for a later moment in my
Danny: (Confused) Pregnant ?
Stephanie: That's what she said.
Steve: So if I'm right, I will be a father.... Wow.
Danny: (Confused) Pregnant ? Why didn't you wait till you're forty ?
DJ: Dad, don't worry. You'll be a great grandfather.
Danny: Oh my god. (He faints away)
We find Danny, DJ, Stephanie and Michelle in the living room...
Danny: Are you ready girls ?
Stephanie: We're ready.
DJ: I'm sorry I can't join you.
Michelle: It's al right.
Danny: Make sure you'll be careful in the woods.
Stephanie: We will.
Then Becky walks down with the twins...
Becky: Okay. The boys are ready. Please take good care of them.
Michelle: Don't worry, what can go wrong in a cottage in the middle of the woods ?
Becky: You don't wanna know.
Danny: We only have to wait till Claire and Gia arrive.
Stephanie: I can't wait till we are really gone.
Alex: Mommy, did you pack the cookies ?
Becky: Sure, how could I forget those.
Nicky: It's possible.
Becky: Not when you keep talking about it.
Then the doorbell rings...
Stephanie: (Opens the door) Hi guys.
Gia: I'm so excited. One weekend with boys....
Claire: What boys ?
Gia: Ehm... (Pointing at Nicky and Alex) that boys.
Danny: You know where it is, Claire ?
Claire: Yes I do. I'm sure the girls will have a great weekend.
Nicky: Hey, we're no girls.
Becky: Boys, you will think of me, won't you ?
Alex: Sure we will.
Becky: (Almost crying) Excuse me.
She walks into the kitchen, where Jesse is sitting at the table, reading a magazine...
Jesse: Hey, what's wrong ?
Becky: I can't say goodbye to our boys. It's their first holiday without us.
Jesse: Hey, Stephanie and Michelle are with them. Come on, let's say goodbye.
They walk back into he living room....
Jesse: Have a nice weekend. And boys, just remember. When something goes wrong, just scream
as loud as you can, okay ?
Alex: Okay. (He starts screaming very loud)
Jesse: (Putting his hands on his ears) Hey, not now.
Alex: Just testing.
Claire, Gia, Stephanie, Michelle and the twins walk out of the door....
Danny: It will be quiet around here this weekend.
Becky: (Crying) I already miss them, I go with them... (She runs to the door)
Jesse: (Runs behind Becky and holds her)Stop it! You'll have to let go once. And bye the way,
they will be 90 kilometers away from here.
Danny: And do you know what's the best part of all ?
Danny: The moment they come home and tell you they missed you.
Becky: I'm already looking forward to it.
In the kitchen, Joey and Steve walk in with some bags with groceries...
Joey: (Screaming) Are they still here ?
DJ: (Walking into the kitchen) No, they are just gone.
Joey: Too bad I missed them. I bought them a bag of potato chips. (He holds the bag in his hand)
Steve: Don't worry about that bag. (He takes it from Joey's hand, opens it and sits down at the
table) Nice taste. Cheese-union.
DJ: Steve, we have some more important things to talk about.
Steve: Like what ?
DJ: Our baby.
Steve: What about it ? It isn't born yet.
DJ: No, but we have to be prepared. We need a cradle, diapers, and god knows what stuff.
Steve: Baby bedroom.
DJ: Good idea. We certainly need one.
Then Becky ,Jesse and Danny walk in...
Becky: Talking about the baby ?
DJ: Yes, we have to make some arrangements before it is born.
Steve: Yeah, like where it's gonna sleep.
Jesse: A cradle would be nice for that goal.
Joey: Yeah, and some blankets to put over it.
Danny: I can't believe it. My daughter is pregnant. (His face turns confused)
Steve: My girlfriend too.
DJ: Steve, we also need money to take care of the baby.
Steve: When will we go to the bank ?
DJ: The bank ?
Steve: Yes, we need money, so we need a loan.
DJ: No, you need a job.
Steve: (Almost choking in his chips) Me ? Work ?
Danny: (Confused) Pregnant.
DJ: Yes, you didn't think you could stay unemployed forever, did you ?
Steve: Well, I'm very emancipated. If you get a job, I can look after the baby.
Jesse: Danny, please stop repeating the same words all the time.
Danny: Sorry. I won't do it again. (He sighs) Pregnant.
Later we find Stephanie, Michelle and Gia with the twins and Claire in a cottage in the woods
Claire: I have to go now. Take good care of yourselves and have fun.
Gia: We will. Bye mom.
Claire: Goodbye. And girls, Danny will be here Sunday night 8 PM.
Stephanie: The cottage will be free of dust then.
Claire: Just like he likes it.
Claire walks away and waves, then Michelle closes the door...
Alex: Can we unpack now ?
Gia: Why would you hurry with that ?
Nicky: Because there are cookies in our bags.
All walk around in the big room of the cottage...
Stephanie: Well, it's very cosy here. Hall, living room and kitchen together in one room.
Michelle: (Takes something from the table) Hey, what's this ?
Alex: That's a book.
Nicky: Cool. Can you read a story from it ?
Michelle: Sure, why not ? (She blows some dust of the book) Okay. Be quiet and listen very
carefully. In the dark woods - That's where we are right now-, it's advisable to stay in
your cottage, and never sleep, you might never wake up. Strange book. Hey, the other
pages are empty.
Stephanie: Who wrote that stupid page ?
Michelle: There's no name on it.
Nicky: What a boring story.
Gia: What a nonsense.
Michelle: Very strange book. Strange text, empty pages.
Stephanie: (Holding the book in her hands) Michelle, are you playing tricks on us ? This is a
very normal book, called 'The dark side within'. Strange title, but all the pages have
text on it. Listen. Page 57: He took her bra and...
Michelle: There are little kids in here.
Gia: Sounds like a good bedtime story.
Stephanie: It just says, he took her bra and put it in the case. Their holiday could begin.
Michelle: Give me that. (She takes the book from Stephanie) You're right. But I swear, I was not
playing tricks on you.
Stephanie: Let's unpack now. It's almost dark and we have to find some wood for the fireplace.
In the Tanner house, we find DJ in the living room watching television, when Steve walks in...
Steve: I have some great news.
DJ: What ?
Steve: I've found a job.
DJ: What ?
Steve: Tomorrow I start working as employee of the McDonalds in the mall.
DJ: Oh oh.
Steve: What ?
DJ: Steve, you have to sell food you normally buy.
Steve: I know. But I can eat cheaper when I work there.
DJ: You can ?
Steve: Yes. The amount of money I spend on food will not be paid to me.
DJ: How will you ever earn money ?
Steve: Hey, I can eat for free.
DJ: That will save us some money. A lot!
Steve: You see, it's a good job.
Then Jesse and Becky walk in...
DJ: Hear this. Steve has found work at the McDonalds.
Jesse: (Laughing) At the McDonalds ? Nice combination. Steve, McDonalds.
Becky: Maybe he will do fine there.
Steve: Well, I am getting hungry talking about the McDonalds. (He walks into the kitchen)
Becky: Hey Deej, what's wrong ?
DJ: Now I'm expecting a baby, the garage is no longer big enough to live in. I'm afraid I will
have to move out now. I really don't know how to tell my dad.
Becky: You will find a solution. Your uncle and I did.
DJ: Hey, can't we share the attic ?
DJ: Just kidding.
Becky: Well, we have to go now. We are going to see a movie now the boys are gone.
DJ: Aunt Becky, if I want to know something about the baby or my pregnancy, can I ask you ?
Becky: Sure you can. I'll be there for you to answer your questions.
DJ: Thanks. Well, I will think about a way to tell my dad the news now....
Up the stairs Danny stands... He has heard everything and looks very shocked...
In the woods, Stephanie and Gia are searching some wood....
Gia: It's getting dark already.
Stephanie: Yeah, soon there will be no light outside anymore.
Gia: Even the moon is gone. It's a very cloudy night.
Stephanie: There must be some wood around here. If you look over there, I will look there.
Both girls walk separate ways...
Stephanie: I found it.
Then she hears a scream coming out of the cottage...
Stephanie: (Running inside) What's happening ?
Nicky: I have to go to the potty, but Alex is using it. And my father said that if something's
wrong we just have to scream.
Stephanie: Nicky, you scared me to dead.
Michelle: You look very a life for somebody who is dead.
Nicky: I'm sorry.
Alex: (Coming out of the toilet) Next.
Nicky: Thank you very much.
Gia: (Walking in) What's wrong ?
Stephanie: Nothing. Come, I found the wood for the fireplace.
Stephanie and Gia leave the cottage again...
Stephanie: Look, there's plenty of wood. Let's try to take as many as we can.
Gia: Al right.
Again, they hear a loud scream coming out of the cottage...
Gia: What was that ?
Stephanie: Probably Nicky. I think he's out of toilet paper or something.
The girls take some wood and walk to the entrance of the cottage. When they want to walk inside, they drop the wood and start screaming...
Alex: We told you so.
Stephanie: What the hell is that ? (She walks to a scull on the ground)
Michelle: It fell out when I opened the cupboard.
Stephanie: I think it's just a joke of the people that were here before us.
Michelle: Don't you remember the lines in the book I read ?
Stephanie: That was just imagination. You saw what I read.
Gia: You have to hear what I read now. Page 57: You can never trick the ghosts, leave when you
can or you can never leave again.
Stephanie: (Takes the book from Gia) That book is playing tricks with us. How rude!
Michelle: I don't like this.
Alex: I have a bad feeling about this too. Bye the way, what are you talking about ?
Stephanie: Nothing. This is just something somebody forgot to take with him.
Michelle: (Whispering to Stephanie) Don't we tell them the truth ?
Stephanie: No, not yet. I don't want them to be afraid. Just act normal.
Michelle: Like I can. I'm afraid.
Stephanie: Let's do something to distract our minds. I brought twister with me.
Gia: We don't have a VCR in the cottage, nor a television.
Michelle: Duhhuh! She means the game.
Alex: Twister ? Cool!
Nicky: Double cool!
In the Tanner house, we find Danny in his room, when DJ walks in...
DJ: Dad, can I talk to you ?
Danny: (Taking his head out of his hands. On a sad tone) Sure.
DJ: Dad, we have to talk about the future. With the baby coming, there won't be enough space to
life here for me anymore.
Danny: I know what you try to tell me. I heard every word you spoke to your aunt Becky and
uncle Jesse. You know, I thought I would have you around for some years, when we
decided that you and Steve would life in the garage. But now I guess I will loose you
DJ: Dad. I'm really sorry, but I don't see an other solution.
Danny: I know. And I also know I have to let you go, but I don't think I can. I'm sorry, I have to
think about this right now.
DJ: Okay. I will leave you then. If you need me, I'll be downstairs.
DJ leaves the room and walks down the stairs. In the living room she sits down on the couch and starts crying. Then Joey walks in...
Joey: Hey, you're very early with your emotional pregnancy moods, young girl.
DJ: No, it's not that. I just told my dad that I think I will have to leave this house.
Joey: He was very shocked I guess ?
DJ: Yes. And it really hurts me too, the idea of leaving this house. You know, I always thought I
would be happy to life on my own. But we have so many memories together, I just can't say
goodbye right now.
Joey: It can be very hard. I know everything about it.
DJ: You do ?
Joey: Yes, the moment I had to leave the campus of the university, I couldn't say goodbye.
DJ: You never told me you went to college.
Joey: Oh, I didn't. I had just visited my girl friend there.
DJ: (Smiling a little) And what did you do about it ?
Joey: Easy. I had the idea of making pictures of all the places I loved there.
DJ: And do you still have those pictures ?
Joey: No, when I came there to take them, I found my girlfriend with another boy.
DJ: Well, that made it easy to say goodbye then.
Joey: It did. But maybe it's a good idea for you to take pictures. And you can start with a place of
your own close to this house, so you can come by whenever you want.
DJ: Thanks Joey, you really cheered me up.
Joey: Oh. Cut-it-out!
In the cottage in the woods, it's in the middle of the night, when Michelle wakes up by a strange noise coming out of the living room...
Michelle: Stephanie, Gia, wake up!
Stephanie: What's wrong ?
Michelle: I heard something in the living room.
Stephanie: Probably Nicky and Alex, who can't fall a sleep.
Michelle: I don't trust this. I'm going to find out what's there. Anyone want to join me ?
Gia: (Sleepy) No way, I'm sleeping.
Stephanie: Me neither, I'm sleeping too.
Michelle: Maybe there are some cute boys in there.
Gia: Good point, let's check it out.
Stephanie: Who goes first ?
Michelle: (Pointing at Gia) She will.
Gia: (Pointing at Stephanie) Me, no way. She will.
Stephanie: (Pointing at Michelle) She woke us up, she will.
Michelle: Let's all go together then.
Gia: Good idea.
All three of the girls stand up and walk to the door. They want to get out of it at the same time...
Michelle: What are you doing ?
Gia: We are al going together at the same time.
Michelle: Oh. Next time take your brains with you. We don't fit through the door together.
Stephanie: Good point. Michelle, you go first.
Michelle: (Walks out of the door) Hey, what a rip-off. Now I am going first.
Stephanie: Do you see something ?
Michelle: Quiet. I think I see something moving at the window.
Gia: Let's attack. If it is a boy, leave it to me.
The girls walk to the window, where Michelle thought she saw something...
Michelle: (Whispering to her self) Take it easy.
Suddenly Gia feels a hand on her shoulder and she starts screaming...
Stephanie: Quiet! (She walks to the light switch and turns the light on)
Michelle: (Looks at Gia) Oh my god. (She starts screaming too)
Stephanie: Gia, don't look back.
Gia: What is it ? A monster ?
Stephanie: No, worse. Nicky standing on a table.
Alex: Fooled you!
Michelle: Boys, this is not funny.
Alex: Yes it is.
Gia: (Watching the window) Eh... Hello, girls. I think I thought I saw something moving at the
Stephanie: Probably the twins again.
Nicky: No, we are right behind you.
Michelle: Look! (She points to the window, where they can see a shadow)
Stephanie: This doesn't make sense. It's dark outside and we see a shadow.
Gia: I don't like this.
The girls hear a strange laugh outside...
Michelle: This is more real than I thought.
Stephanie: I'm getting sick of this. I will end this right now.
Stephanie walks to the door and opens it. She walks outside. Michelle and Gia scream at her...
Gia: Hey, you fool, come back.
Then they hear a scream coming from outside...
Alex: Somebody is having a problem outside.
Nicky: Michelle, what's going on ?
Michelle: I'll tell you what's going on.... When I know it.
Then Stephanie runs into the cottage...
Stephanie: Okay. Lock all the doors and windows and call 911.
Nicky: Cool, is there a Porsche 911 outside ?
Alex: We want to see it.
Stephanie: No, the emergency number. I saw blood.
Gia: You mean red blood ?
Stephanie: No, green.
Michelle: I see it too. Look, under the door...
Nicky: Do we have hamburgers ?
Alex: The tomato ketchup is already coming in.
Michelle: No time for jokes, boys.
Suddenly, a flash of lightning moves through the sky and the campers hear a loud thunder. Short after, the light goes down in the cottage...
Nicky: Oh no.
Michelle: This is getting more scary than it was.
Alex: That's not the biggest problem.
Nicky: No, we can't find the tomato ketchup anymore.
Stephanie: Boys, that was no tomato ketchup. It was real blood.
Again, a flash of lightning moves through the sky, followed by thunder...
Gia: I'm going to call my mom.
Stephanie: Have fun. The phone is outside, about hundred meters from the cottage.
Gia: On the other hand, it's very cosy in here.
Then they here somebody knock on the door, and again they hear the strange laugh...
Nicky: Cool. I heard Knock-knock on the door.
Alex: Who's there ?
Scary voice: I.
Nicky: I who ?
Scary voice: I will kill you.
Michelle: Who are you ?
Scary voice: I am me. The ghost of the woods.
Nicky: Yeah right!
Gia: Where are Mulder and Scully when you need them ?
Scary voice: I'm going to get you....
They hear somebody trying to open the door, but it's locked....
Gia: What do we do now ?
Stephanie: In this situation, we have to keep calm. We have to relax. We have to wake up. Can
somebody pinch me in my arm ? Then I will wake up. This is just a nightmare.
Michelle pinches Stephanie...
Stephanie: Ouch. Hey, nothing has changed, so it must be true. Then there is one thing to do.
Gia: What ?
Stephanie: We have to take a deep breath... and scream!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
They all scream...
Nicky: I'm getting scared now.
Alex: Me too.
Michelle: You're not the only ones, boys. But hey, it will be daylight before you know. Only two
hours to go.
Gia: How do you know that ?
Michelle: My watch has a lightening face.
They still hear somebody pulling and pushing the door...
Stephanie: I found my flash light. Let's see what's going on at the door.
She puts on the light and shines towards the door...
Michelle: Oh my god! There's coming more and more blood.
Nicky: Hey mister. Leave us alone.
Scary voice: No I won't. I need your blood.
Gia: Those two hours will be the longest of my life.
Stephanie: Oh my god.
Michelle: What ?
Stephanie: I have to go to the toilet and there's no light. It's all dark in there.
Michelle: Uhw groas!
Stephanie: Anyone want to join me ?
Gia: Yeah nice. Let's all go to the toilet at the same time.
Stephanie: I will just take the flash light with me.
Stephanie walks away...
Nicky: I have an idea. Let's sing.
Alex: Yeah. Do you know the song about the farmer called Mac Donalds ?
Michelle: Boys, there's no time to sing. The lock has almost been broken.
Nicky: Let's put a chair against the door.
Michelle: Good idea.
Suddenly they hear Stephanie scream...
Stephanie: Aaaaaah! No, no, no.
Gia: Is that maniac with you ?
Michelle: Is there a snake ?
Nicky: Are we out of cookies ?
Alex: You walked into the cupboard in stead of the toilet ?
Scary voice: You can't unlock the door ?
Michelle: Hey, is that your job ? I didn't think so!
Scary voice: Sorry!
Stephanie: No, worse. I am ready here.
Gia: Wow, what a disaster.
Stephanie: Yes it is. We ran out of toilet paper.
Then they hear the lock break, and they feel the wind blow inside. Outside there's another flash followed by thunder, in the light of the flash Michelle, Gia, Nicky and Alex can see a large man with a hat on his head....
Gia: I agree.
Nicky: Double agree!
Alex: Triple agree!
They can see that the man is having a knife in his hand when another flash lightens up the sky...
Scary voice: Ready to die ?
They hear footsteps walk inside....
The next morning, we find Danny in the kitchen, when DJ walks in...
DJ: Good morning, dad. Dad, I think I know a solution for our problem.
Danny: You have found another place to life ?
DJ: No. I don't want to discuss that again. I don't even want to go away here. But last night I got a
great idea. Maybe we can expand the garage. We can build a part to it outside.
Danny: Yes, we can.
DJ: What do you think ? Can we do that ?
Danny: Of course we can.
Then Kimmy enters the kitchen...
Kimmy: Good morning Tannerito's.
Danny: Hello, Kimmy.
Kimmy: I just came by to say that Duane and I are back.
Danny: So I see.
Kimmy: Did you miss me ?
Danny: I didn't pay attention to that point. But if you leave now, I can see if I miss you.
Kimmy: Okay. I'll be back in five minutes.
Kimmy leaves the kitchen...
Danny: You know, Deej. When you told us you're pregnant yesterday, I was shocked. I started to
feel really old. But I just want you to know I'm very happy for you.
DJ: Thanks. And you can look at it from the bright side. There will be another baby in the house
and you will be a grandfather.
Danny: Oh no. Do I get gray hairs ?
Then Jesse and Joey walk in....
Jesse: When we see some, we will let you know. And you know what ? You can have mine.
Joey: And mine too. But Jesse, you can give them first. Do you want to give them all now ?
Jesse: Please tell me you're joking ? Do I have gray hairs ?
Joey: If you are older, maybe. If you still have hair when you're 60.
Then Kimmy walk in again...
Kimmy: And, did you miss me ?
In the cottage in the woods, light is falling through the windows. On the ground we find all the campers lying, in a pool of blood...
Michelle: (Waking up) What happened ?
Stephanie: I don't know. Oh my god, who's bleeding like that ?
Michelle: Nicky, Alex, wake up!
Nicky: Quiet! We had a long night, we need our sleep.
Alex: (Sleepy) Yes. We need our beauty sleep. We want to stay hansom young boys.
Gia: (Waking up) Did anyone say hansom boys ?
Stephanie: Wait, it's all coming back to me now. That man entered the cottage, and walked
towards you with a knife in his hand. Then I came out of the toilet and smashed him
to the ground with my flash light. I believe he ran away then.
Michelle: I'm going to call dad. I don't want to stay here any longer.
Gia: (Tasting some of the blood) Hey, it is tomato ketchup.
Alex: We told you so.
Stephanie: Where's the book ? (She walks towards the table and takes the book of it...) Let me
see. Page 57. The flowers were dead, that night there would come more dead.
Gia: I'm going to pack my stuff.
Stephanie: Me too. Boys, you better do that too, we leave today.
Michelle: (Walking in) The line is dead.
Gia: Like everything else here.
Stephanie: However, we will leave.
Alex: How ?
Stephanie: We will walk down the road. I saw a little store when we arrived here.
Some later we find the campers with the store Stephanie told about...
Stephanie: Okay, let's try this one. (She takes the receiver from the phone) Good, it works.
Anybody has a quarter ?
Stephanie phones home. After she has done this, the five youngsters decide to buy some food....
Shopkeeper: Hello. What can I do for you ?
Michelle: Something to calm down. We had a horrible night.
Shopkeeper: You did ?
Nicky: Yes. There was a scary man with a hat and tomato ketchup on the floor.
Shopkeeper: That sounds like the ghost of the Dark Woods.
Gia: Does it appear here too ?
Shopkeeper: No, it lives near the cottage in the wood, this store and my house are too close to
Alex: Do you have cookies ?
Nicky: With chocolate on top ?
Stephanie: And some chocolate bars, please.
Some hours later, Danny has arrived at the store and all are in the car...
Danny: I really want to hear why you want to leave this soon. You were all looking forward to it.
Stephanie: It's a long story.
The car drives away, Alex sees something...
Alex: Look! (He points to the woods)
Michelle: What ?
Alex: I saw the man with the hat.
Nicky: Yes, I can see him too!
Danny: A man with a hat ?
Stephanie: You will hear it later. It's a long story.....
Danny: You better start telling it then.
Michelle: Okay, but it's not our fault if you can't sleep tonight.
That night, we find all sitting in the living room...
Joey: What an adventure.
Jesse: Did that really happen, or did you just make it up ?
Joey: I'm glad I wasn't there.
Becky: Why ?
Joey: I know I would be scared to dead.
Steve: Too bad I was not with you.
Michelle: Did you want to save us then ?
Steve: No, I would have brought some hamburgers, it's too bad all the tomato ketchup was
spoiled. I would have loved to eat it.
Stephanie: I can see that Nicky and Alex are being influenced by you, Steve. They said
something like that too.
Danny: But come on. Now tell me what really happened, this story is just made up by you.
Michelle: No it wasn't. I really don't know what to think about it. Did it really happen, or was it
just a general nightmare we all had ?
DJ: You have to call Stephen King. This is just like one of his stories.
Danny: Well, let's try not to think about it anymore. Anyone want some hot chocolate ?
Nicky + Alex: Only if we get a cookie with it.
All laugh, Danny walks into the kitchen...
Full House - The new stories
Episode 1 (203)- Are You Afraid Of The Dark?
Stephanie, Michelle, Nicky, Alex and Gia are going on a camping trip in a cottage in the woods. That night turns out to be the most horrible of their lives. DJ has some great news to tell the family, Danny is afraid DJ will have to leave the house now