Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9
Episode (16) 208 - Jesse's Comeback
We find the whole family in the living room, sitting together...
Danny: Okay, family photo 1999!
Jesse: Danny, can't we do this tomorrow ?
Danny: Why ?
Jesse: Because I am having a really bad hair day and this afternoon I'll go to Allejandro, my
Becky: That's all ?
Jesse: That's all ? You know how important great hair can be.
Joey: Can we please have this done ? Roadrunner starts in two minutes.
Danny: Okay. Everybody say 'clean!'
Stephanie: Clean ?
The camera flashes....
Danny: Okay, we're ready.
Michelle: No we're not.
DJ: You forgot something.
Danny: What ?
Michelle: You didn't put a film in the camera.
Danny: Oops. I guess we have to do this again.
Nicky: Do we have to say 'clean' again ?
Alex: Normal people say 'cheese'.
Steve: That sure makes me smiling.
Danny: Okay, the film is in the camera, say 'clean' again!
All: Clean again!
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We find Jesse and Becky on the attic...
Becky: What are you doing ?
Jesse: I'm polishing the strings of my guitar.
Becky: Are you turning into some kind of Danny or something ?
Jesse: No, I took a really important decision.
Becky: Finally. I thought you'd never buy a normal blow dryer. Why on earth do you need one
with a build in brush ?
Jesse: Because my hair will be blown in a mess without that.
Becky: What important decision did you take then ?
Jesse: I'm going back in business, I will call the Munkey Puppets back together again.
Becky: You are ?
Jesse: Yes. The band needed a break and I think that has been lasting for too long now.
Becky: But you won't get all of them back together. I believe two of them died last year.
Jesse: Then I will look for somebody to take their places.
Becky: Good luck. Well, I have to go, Danny is waiting. Bye.
Becky leaves the attic, Jesse takes the phone and makes a call....
Jesse: Hello Dragon, how are you ? Hey, what about a come-back with the group ? You can't ?
Why not ? Oh, I see, you have a solo tour next week. What ? O, your new single is number
one in almost whole Europe ? How nice.
Jesse puts down the receiver and takes it up again, and he dials another number...
Jesse: Slaughter, how are you boy ? O, you're in jail right now ? No, never mind. Bye. (He puts
down the receiver) Then there's only one member left...
Then Michelle walks up the stairs...
Michelle: Uncle Jesse ?
Jesse keeps staring to the wall and doesn't answer Michelle...
Michelle: Uncle Jesse, what's wrong ?
Jesse: Oh hi Michelle. What's wrong ? I don't know. I want to make some music again. I just
want to get back to stages with the band. But two of the old members are dead, one is in
jail and one is very successful without us.
Michelle: But I thought there were five Munkey Puppets ?
Jesse: Yes, there's one I didn't call: Viper.
Michelle: So why don't you call him ?
Jesse: Because the band will never be complete again.
We find DJ and Stephanie in the kitchen when Steve and the twins walk in...
Nicky: We won, we won!
DJ: I guess you won your first match as coach, Steve ?
Steve: We sure did.
Alex: I catched a ball.
Nicky: And I have hit one.
Steve: And guess what ?
DJ: What ?
Steve: This coaching stuff is really cool.
Stephanie: You mean you like to work with the kiddo's ?
Steve: That too, but what I was trying to say is that I have a favorite man.
DJ: The pitcher, the catcher ?
Steve: No, the man who sells the hotdogs. I even get them for free.
Stephanie: That will cost them money.
Steve: Okay boys, what do you want ? Chocolate or strawberry ice cream ?
Steve: Hm. I can't choose, so I take both. (he walks to the refrigerator and takes some ice out of
it) Yum, I need this.
Steve and the boys sit down at the table....
Stephanie: So what was the score ?
DJ: So it was a close one.
Nicky: Yes it was. But I made the winning point.
Then the doorbell rings...
DJ: I'll get it. (She stands up and walks to the door)
Viper: Hi Deej.
DJ: Viper ?
Viper: Yes, it's me. It's so good to see you again.
DJ: I guess so. What are you doing here ?
Viper: Your uncle called me, he wants the band back together.
DJ: Well, he is upstairs.
Viper: Okay. I'll see you later then.
Viper walks up the stairs. DJ closes the door and walks back to the kitchen...
Stephanie: Who was it ?
Steve: Who did you say ? Diaper ?
DJ: No, Viper. He's here for uncle Jesse, but I have a feeling he didn't come for him only.
Steve: Who is that guy then ?
Stephanie: A member of the Munkey Puppets. And he is also an ex-boyfriend of DJ.
DJ: After we broke up, I had something going on with Viper for a while.
Steve: So you forgot me after we broke up ? (He walks away)
DJ: Thanks Steph.
Stephanie: You're welcome.
Nicky: Does this mean Steve doesn't want his ice cream anymore ?
Alex: We can eat it.
Then Steve walks back in...
DJ: Steve, can we talk ?
Steve: No, I only came back because I forgot my ice cream. (He takes the ice cream and walks
into the garage again...)
We find Jesse and Joey up the attic when Viper walks in...
Jesse: Hi Viper.
Viper: Hello. So, where's the rest of the band ?
Jesse: Ehm, well, how will I say this...
Joey: What he tries to tell you is that you are the rest of the band.
Viper: So I came all this way for nothing ?
Jesse: No, of course not. We will find some new band members.
Joey: Like me. (He starts singing) Knocking on Danny's door!
Jesse: Thank you Joseph, we heard enough.
Joey: Does this mean I'm hired ?
Jesse: No, this means...ehm.. don't call us, we don't call you.
Joey: Al right, then I won't be waiting at the phone. (he walks away)
Viper: Jesse, do you think a come-back will be successful ?
Jesse: I don't know. I sure hope so.
Viper: I already thought up a name for our new band. The VJ band.
Jesse: VJ ?
Viper: Oh sorry, you want to call it the JV band ?
Jesse: Not as long as I don't know what it stands for.
Viper: The Jesse Viper band, of course.
Jesse: That's no good name.
Viper: You're right, we better stick with my first idea: the Viper Jesse band.
Jesse: Hey, I'm still the leader of the band.
Viper: Yeah, but without me you're nothing.
Jesse: What do you mean by that ?
Viper: isn't that obvious ? Look at you, you're no star.
Jesse: You're so wrong.
Then Becky walks up the stairs
Becky: Hi guys, what's happening ?
Viper: Nothing, we were just talking. About the truth. (He walks down the stairs)
Jesse: Yeah, just walk away. (He sits down)
Becky: What was that all about ?
Jesse: Nothing. He only thinks I'm nothing without him. And you know what ? He's right.
Becky: How can you say that ?
Jesse: Just look at me. I've never been a star, the only success I had was in 1993 with the Rippers.
Becky: Why don't you start for your own /
Jesse: How, like Jesse and the no ones ?
Becky: That's a start.
We find Stephanie and Gia in Stephanie's room...
Gia: Do you know that new movie ?
Stephanie: you mean that one with Brad Pitt ?
Gia: Yes, shall we go there tonight ?
Stephanie: I'm already going. With Jason.
Gia: I didn't know it was that serious between the two of you.
Stephanie: He's so sweet.
Gia: So when is it going to happen ?
Stephanie: What ?
Gia: You know, sleep with him.
Stephanie: Gia, please stop. That won't be happening for some time.
Gia: Why not ? You love him, he loves you, you're dating.
Stephanie: Only for two weeks now. It's just too soon.
Gia: I wish I had a boyfriend.
Stephanie: You are the one that broke up with David.
Gia: What should I have done ? He said he was a vegetarian.
Stephanie: So, what does that say ?
Gia: That he doesn't eat meat ?
Stephanie: I don't think that's a good reason to break up.
Gia: He also had many pimples.
Stephanie: No good reason.
Gia: He likes to wear woman clothes ?
Stephanie: That can be a good reason.
Gia: Then why didn't he do that ? Then I would have a good reason now. Well, there's one thing
left about him.
Stephanie: What ?
Gia: Besides me he had four other girlfriends.
Stephanie: Good thing that you dumped him. But what about Mark ?
Gia: Mark ?
Stephanie: Yes. I can see you like him when you're with him.
Gia: But I don't think he likes me that way.
Stephanie: Then just ask him.
Gia: When ?
We find DJ in the living room when Viper walks in....
Viper: Hi Deej.
DJ: Oh hi. How was your meeting with my uncle ?
Viper: Don't ask. He thinks he's the boss. He even said I was nothing without him.
DJ: He did ? That doesn't sound like him.
Viper: DJ, I really missed you. Let's start all over again.
DJ: No. Viper, I am engaged and pregnant. Things have changed.
Viper: That doesn't mind. (He walks to DJ and starts kissing her)
DJ: Viper, stop this.
Then Steve walks in...
Steve: DJ! What are you doing there ? I knew it.
DJ: Steve, it's not what you think it is.
Steve: Oh no ? Well, it looked like you were kissing to me.
Viper: We were. She still loves me.
Steve: DJ, I'm outta here. Goodbye. (he walks away angrily)
DJ: Viper, get out of here.
Viper: But it was so cosy.
Then Danny walks in...
Danny: Hi Viper, I'm happy to see you.
Viper: You are ?
Danny: Yes, I thought I smelled mildew, but now I know where it comes from.
DJ: Well, Viper was just leaving.
Viper: No I wasn't.
Danny: What are you guys up to ?
Then Steve walks in with a case in his hand...
DJ: Steve, what are you doing ?
Steve: Like I said, I'm outta here. Goodbye DJ.
DJ: No Steve, wait! (She walks behind Steve)
Steve: Don't try to stop me.
Steve: Nothing you say can make me go back inside.
DJ: There's a pineapple pie in the kitchen.
Steve: Okay, almost nothing. (He turns and walks back in)
DJ: Can we talk ?
Viper: Why would you talk to him ?
DJ: Get out, Viper, I never wanna see you again!
DJ follows Steve into the kitchen...
We find Stephanie and Gia at Mark's place...
Mark: Hey girls, what brings you here ?
Stephanie: We want to ask something.
Gia: Like if we can come in.
Mark: Sure, but please wipe your feet, I've been vacuuming for over the last two hours.
Stephanie: That long ?
Mark: Yes, I forgot to put the plug in.
Gia: Didn't you notice that sooner ?
Mark: No, I had my discman on and I usually don't hear the vacuum cleaner with that thing in
Stephanie: Sounds logical.
Gia: What we wanted to ask. Well, how will we put this ?
Stephanie: What she's trying to say is... Well, she wants to know...
Gia: You see, I want to ask you...
Mark: Is it that hard to ask ?
Gia: How's your love life ?
Mark: Great! My wife's coming over tomorrow.
Stephanie: You're married ?
Mark: Sure. More people do that nowadays.
Gia: Okay, that was all. Bye. (She walks out of the door) Steph, are you coming ?
Stephanie: In a moment. Mark, did you tell the truth ?
Mark: Oh no, was I under oath ?
Stephanie: Very funny. Just know you just broke somebody's heart.
Mark: I did ? When ?
Stephanie: My god, are you sure your back name isn't Gibbler ?
Mark: Hey, then I would have killed myself years ago.
Stephanie: Al right, that remark was too rude.
Mark: But why did you ask this ?
Stephanie: Think about it and you will know.
Stephanie walks away, Mark closes the door...
Gia: I don't believe this.
Stephanie: I think Mark didn't get the clue.
We find Joey and Michelle in the kitchen...
Michelle: Joey, can you help me with my homework ?
Joey: Sure. What's the problem ?
Michelle: I need to know how I can distract 12 from mars.
Joey: Huh ? Who made that sum ?
Michelle: I don't know.
Joey: It's a very strange one.
Then Danny walks in...
Michelle: Dad, how much is mars minus 12 ?
Danny: Not enough chocolate for everybody ?
Joey: That's it!
Danny: Let me see that. (He takes the book from Michelle) Where is it ?
Michelle: In my mind, fooled you !
Joey: Hey, that's not nice.
Michelle: No, but it worked.
Then Kimmy walks in...
Kimmy: (Sneezing) Hello Tannerito's! (Sneezes again)
Danny: Bless you!
Kimmy: Thanks. I have catched a cold.
Michelle: You don't say so.
Danny: What brought you here ?
Kimmy: I don't know. (She sneezes again)
Danny: I see. You want to spread your cold here.
Kimmy: You know, I forgot what I came for. I have that always when I'm ill, then my brains
don't work properly.
Michelle: It must be a chronic disease then.
Kimmy: When I remember what I came for I'll come back.
Joey: We prefer not.
We find Jesse in the Smash club, when mark walks in...
Jesse: Hi mark, what can I do for you ?
Mark: I've got a question. It's about love.
Jesse: Then you came to the right person, I have a degree on that you know.
Mark: Well, can you explain to me how to understand girls ?
Jesse: Well, that's the most difficult thing to do. When you think they want you they don't and
when you think they don't they do.
Mark: That sounds complicated.
Jesse: It is. But most of the time they will give you hints. They want you to ask them.
Mark: What kind of hints ?
Jesse: They search contact with you, or they offer you a drink. That reminds me of Cindy, one of
my old girlfriends. She offered me drinks all night. But at the end I could pay for them.
Mark: Thanks, I think I know enough.
Jesse: Tell me, did you ever had a girlfriend before ?
Mark: To be honest: no.
Jesse: Can you help me now ? Please tell me what you think of my new song /
Mark: Sure, I will listen.
We find Steve in the living room when Becky walks in...
Becky: Hi Steve.
Steve: Hi. Can I ask you something ?
Steve: Have I been acting stupid today when I thought DJ was betraying on me ?
Becky: What do you think ?
Steve: I think I need some food. But I don't think you meant that ?
Becky: If you want an answer to this question, you have to talk to DJ. You already condemned
her without talking to her.
Steve: You're right. I'll go talk to her right now.
Steve stands up and walks into the kitchen, where DJ is sitting...
Steve: Deej, we have to talk. I'm sorry I acted like a jerk today.
DJ: Why did you do that ?
Steve: I guess I couldn't handle it when you told me you loved other persons after we broke up.
DJ: Like you didn't.
Steve: Yes. I only thought of you. I always had the feeling we shouldn't have broke up.
DJ: I didn't no that. Sorry.
Steve: It doesn't mind. But can you please forgive me that I didn't trust you ?
DJ: Yes I can. We all make mistakes.
Steve: But this one was a real big one.
Then the phone rings. DJ walks to the phone and takes the receiver...
DJ: Hello ? Yes, that's me. What ? Oh no. I understand, thank you. (She puts down the receiver)
Steve: Who was it ?
DJ: The hospital. Viper has been in an accident, he asked for me. I have to go there.
Steve: I'll come with you.
Later we find DJ and Steve in the hospital with Viper...
Viper: Thanks for coming. DJ, I'm sorry.
DJ: It's the phrase of the day I guess.
Viper: I have serious problems, I became an alcoholic and that had a bad influence on my
DJ: That explains. You never were this crazy.
Viper: I know, and the doctor told me I have to go to an institute to kick this habit.
Steve: So alcoholics will be what food is for me ?
DJ: No Steve, it's worse. Even if that sounds impossible.
Viper: I want you to know you're a great couple. Steve, you're a lucky man.
Steve: Tell me. I've got DJ, and a house with a refrigerator that's always filled with food.
DJ: Viper, please take good care of yourself.
Viper: I will. Don't be afraid.
Steve: And remember, never use whipped cream for your corn-flakes, when you're out of milk.
DJ: I thought you eat everything ?
Steve: I do. But not everybody has a strong stomach to handle this.
Viper: You have to go now I broke my leg and they are going to operate. I hope I can see you
again some time.
DJ: Me too.
DJ and Steve leave Viper's room...
Steve: And now ?
DJ: We're going to the Smash Club, my uncle will sing his new song tonight.
We find Stephanie and Gia at Gia's house...
Stephanie: Are you coming with me to the Smash Club ?
Gia: No I don't think so. I guess mark will be there.
Stephanie: So ? Isn't that a good reason why you should go /
Gia: No, I really don't....
Stephanie: Hey, I will be there with Jason, and you will be there with Mark.
Gia: But you heard what he said.
Stephanie: You know he likes to joke around.
Stephanie: Shut up! We're leaving now. (She takes Gia's arm and walks away)
Stephanie: Okay, we're going to make you look so pretty mark can't resist you.
Gia: Hey, we don't have to do anything then.
Stephanie: (Smiling) That's the spirit girl!
They walk into Gia's bedroom...
Stephanie: (Opening Gia's closet) Look, this dress will do the trick.
Gia: But it makes me look fat.
Stephanie: Impossible. And if it did, just go on a diet.
Gia: You're really bossy tonight.
Stephanie: Hey, you brought Jason and me together, now I will do something like that for you.
We find Jesse and Becky behind the scenes in the Smash Club...
Jesse: I'm so nervous. I never thought I would feel this way when I would have my come-back.
Becky: But there's a big pressure on you. You have to let the fans hear another song, and it has to
be as good as your old ones.
Jesse: I hope they all like it.
Becky: Hey, don't have any doubts. Maybe this will help. (She kisses Jesse)
Jesse: Have mercy! That sure did the trick.
Then Nicky and Alex walk to Jesse...
Nicky: Daddy, can you sing a song for us ?
Jesse: Sure, which one do you want ?
Alex: The ABC song.
Jesse: You're too old for that. What about some Elvis song ?
Nicky: The Jail song ?
Jesse: Sure, if you want that.
Becky: Come boys, daddy has to prepare himself.
Alex: Bye daddy.
Nicky: Good luck. Make us proud.
Alex: Then you'll get a cookie.
Jesse: Gee, you really keep the pressure up boys.
Nicky: We have to, else you wouldn't try as hard as you can.
Becky: I wonder who taught this to them.
Alex: You did.
Nicky: You always tell us this.
Becky: But I don't remember the cookie part.
Alex: Because daddy did that part.
Jesse: How do they get that ?
Becky: Come boys, we will leave daddy alone now. Good luck honey.
We find Stephanie, Gia and Jason sitting in the Smash Club....
Jason: Hey Steph, wanna dance ?
Stephanie: Sure. I like this song.
Gia: Huh ? You leave me here all by myself ?
Stephanie: Hey, remember what we talked about.
Stephanie and Jason walk to the dance floor, Gia stays alone...
Gia: How cosy. Alone in a club. How are you ? Fine.
Mark: (Sits down on a chair opposite Gia) Schizophrenic ?
Gia: (Frightened) Oh it's you.
Mark: No, it's me. You are sitting opposite me.
Gia: (Smiling) Joker.
Mark: We better call Batman then. Gia, I want to apologize for this afternoon. I hope you're not
angry with me ?
Gia: No, of course not.
Mark: it's just I never had a girlfriend before and I have no idea what girls are like.
Gia: I see. I can tell you everything about that.
Mark: Cool. But first I want you to answer a question. Did you give me hints ?
Gia: Clever boy.
Mark: I know, I hear that every morning.
Gia: When you're looking in the mirror ?
Mark: No, when I wake up, that's even earlier.
Gia: (Laughing) You're really funny you know ?
Mark: Yes. I keep telling myself that too.
Gia: Wanna dance ?
Mark: Dance ? We ? I ? Oh no. I can't do that.
Gia: Why not ?
Mark: like I said, I can't. I never learned, never wanted to learn.
Gia: This is very easy. It's slow music. (She stands up and she and Mark walk to the dance floor)
Mark: (Walking next to Stephanie and Jason, who are kissing and dancing) Breath break!
Stephanie: How rude! You scared me to dead.
Mark: Now that's what happens when you don't get enough oxygen.
Then Becky walks to Mark...
Becky: Mark, can you do something ?
Mark: I already brushed my teeth. Did my grandmother send you ?
Becky: (Smiling) No, not that. Can you come with me ?
Mark: Sorry Gia, I have to work I think.
Gia: I don't mind.
Mark walks away with Becky...
Stephanie: And ?
Gia: I think he understood the hint.
Stephanie: Now it's up to you, him, and... what the .....
Stephanie, Gia and Jason look at the stage where Mark is standing...
Mark: Hello people. You came to see Jesse without the Rippers, but he couldn't make it. So we
have a replacement for you: Clippy the Clown.
The crowd yells...
Mark: Okay. I know, I'm a big joker, but you fooled for it. So enjoy yourself now, here he is: the
big man, the owner of this place, the legendary Jesse, also knows as Hot Daddy!
Mark steps backwards, Jesse walks to the front of the stage...
Jesse: Welcome San Francisco! Having fun ? Here is my new song, it's called 'For You, and I
want to dedicate this song to my wife Becky and my sons Nicky and Alex.
The crowd cheers, Jesse starts to sing...
Mark: (Walking to Gia) Okay, where were we ?
Gia: I believe here (She kisses Mark)
Stephanie: Don't forget to take a breath break.
Mark: Shut up, can't you see we are busy ?
Stephanie walks back to Jason, and they dance.
In the crowd we find Becky and Joey...
Becky: Look at those people, they are very enthusiastic!
Joey: I think they're thinking of the free drinks Jesse promised them.
Then the twins walk to Becky...
Nicky: This is cool!
Alex: Double cool!
Nicky: This is a great song, can we buy the record ?
Becky: (Laughing) Sure boys.
Danny, DJ and Steve are sitting at the bar...
DJ: What a great song.
Danny: I think he's back.
Steve: I think I'm hungry.
DJ: What does that have to do with the song ?
Steve: Well, when I hear this song in the future, I will be reminded to the fact that I am hungry
now. And that's something not many songs have.
Danny: I thought every song had that ?
Steve: No, because they don't all remind me of this time.
DJ: (Laughing) If you say so.
We find Michelle backstage when the song is over...
Michelle: that was really good, uncle Jesse.
Jesse: You think I can make a big come-back ?
Michelle: No, I think you just did.
Jesse: Thank you shorty, give me a hug.
Jesse and Michelle hug...
Later we find Becky and Jesse on the attic....
Jesse: This feeling I have is really great. I think I'm back.
Becky: You are. This song was so beautiful.
Jesse: Well, I guess I never lost touch.
Becky: Well, on that stage you lost your nerves.
Jesse: Thanks to Mark. He did a great job making the crowd cheering and yelling.
Becky: That's why I asked him.
Jesse: Thank you. I love you.
Becky: I know. And that's why I did it. Come, let's make some music.
Becky pulls Jesse into bed...
Jesse: Have mercy!
------------------------------------------------------------ End Tune ---------------------------------------------------------------
Full House - The new stories
Jesse wants to go back in music, but the only member of his band that's available is Viper, and he is not who he was. Stephanie tries to bring mark and Gia together. DJ and Steve have an argument...