Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9
Episode (18) 210 - The Long Kiss Goodbye (1)
We find Danny and Stephanie in a car on the freeway....
Stephanie: Wow, finally driving on the freeway.
Danny: You know how I think about it.
Stephanie: How could I not ? After I got my license you never let me drive here.
Danny: I have my reasons.
Stephanie: Dad, the fact that they couldn't close one part of the freeway just to let me drive there
is no good reason.
Danny: Be careful!
Stephanie: What ?
Danny: Nothing, I only thought I saw an ant passing.
Stephanie: An ant ?
Danny: Hey, do you know what dirty spot that can be on the tires ? Look out, don't you see that
Stephanie: Dad, it's on a billboard!
Danny: I only asked if you saw it.
Stephanie: I did. Anything else ?
Danny: Please make sure you clean the ashtray when we're home.
Stephanie: Dad, we didn't use that thing, so there's nothing to clean.
Danny: Don't you know how much dust gets in that thing when you're driving ? Okay, we take
the next exit.
Danny: Hey, don't get an attitude young lady.
Stephanie: I don't have an attitude. You just drive me crazy.
Danny: Hey, that's my job, I'm your father.
------------------------------------------------------------ INTRO ------------------------------------------------------------------------
We find Danny sitting in the living room when Stephanie walks in...
Stephanie: Dad, I've got great news.
Danny: You want to clean your room ?
Stephanie: No, I won a trip.
Danny: And now you want to ask me if you can go ?
Stephanie: Good guess.
Danny: I don't think it could harm.
Stephanie: Thanks dad, I didn't think you would let me go to Europe that easy.
Danny: Europe ? I thought you meant the zoo.
Stephanie: Can I go ?
Stephanie: I knew I should have told it more careful.
Then Michelle walks in...
Michelle: Good afternoon. Anything happened today ?
Stephanie: Michelle, do you wanna go to Europe ?
Michelle: No thanks, I'm sure dad wouldn't allow me.
Danny: Just as long as you know that.
Stephanie: I think it's not fair. DJ could go, and she was 15, I'm 17.
Danny: And she came home with Steve. I don't think the refrigerator can handle another holiday
love. Especially one with a huge appetite.
Stephanie: Hey, I'm not DJ. And besides, I could meat a guy like that in San Francisco.
Michelle: Don't try, you can't convince dad.
We find Joey and the twins in Joey's room...
Joey: Boys, do you wanna help me clean my room ?
Alex: We are not busy for the next three months.
Joey: Okay, where shall I start ?
Alex: Under your bed.
Nicky: That's where most of the garbage goes to.
Alex: Or it disappears in a cupboard. (He walks to the cupboard and wants to open it)
Joey: Alex, don't open that, I believe it contains the results of the last time I cleaned my room.
Nicky: You mean all the dirty stuff you found three years ago ?
Joey: Exactly. But please don't tell your uncle Danny.
Alex: Your secret is safe with me.
Then Michelle walks in...
Nicky: Are you going to help too, Michelle ?
Michelle: Cleaning Joey's room ? No, I don't think so. I still have nightmares from the last time I
did that. That was the first time I saw how a dead mouse looks like.
Joey: And you know what the strange part was ?
Joey: Your father never noticed.
Michelle: Gee, I wonder why. I believe he didn't enter this room for years.
Joey: Actually he did, last week he came to bring me breakfast in bed, because I was ill. I even
think the plate is here somewhere.
Alex: Joey, what do we smell ?
Nicky: It's awful!
Michelle: It's like something is in a condition of decomposition.
Joey: Probably my bed. I didn't change that for two months now. I just didn't have time for that.
Then Danny walks in...
Danny: Oh my god. Can somebody please open a window ?
Joey: No, it's stuck.
Danny: What do you mean, 'stuck' ?
Joey: Stuck with dirt, I can't open it.
Danny: I can't believe this room is part of my house.
Michelle: Face it dad, this is not America's cleanest house anymore.
Joey: Danny, I promise you, when you come back you won't recognize a thing in this room. It
will be cleaner than yours.
Danny: Don't over do it.
Alex: Yeah, that's impossible.
Nicky: Or you have to break this room down and build up again.
Joey: Hey, that's not such a bad idea.
Danny: Well, I'm outta here. I need fresh air. (He leaves the room)
Michelle: I got to do my homework.
Joey: Well boys, that means were the only ones left.
Nicky: Please, fix that window first.
Joey: I don't think that's possible.
Joey walks to the window and tries to open it, but suddenly the window falls off the window frame and lands in the garden....
Alex: Well, at least you have fresh air in your room now.
Danny: (Running into Joey's room) Joey, what did you do ?
Joey: I opened the window.
Danny: And I just vacuumed the garden. Now I can start all over again.
We find DJ and Steve in the kitchen...
DJ: Okay, we have to take some important decisions for our wedding, Steve.
Steve: I have a very important pint. Do we want chicken legs or steak for diner ?
DJ: Diner ?
Steve: Yes, we will have a diner with all the guests don't we ?
DJ: Oh, of course, I thought you were talking about diner tonight.
Steve: No I wasn't. But now you mentioned it, let's see if we have one of those things in the
refrigerator. I can choose better when I taste the difference. (He opens the refrigerator)
Then Kimmy walks in...
Kimmy: Great news. Duane and I are getting married too.
DJ: He asked you ?
Kimmy: No, I asked him.
DJ: And he said yes ?
Kimmy: Well, he didn't disagree with me.
DJ: What ?
Steve: We can serve noodles with the chicken or steak.
Kimmy: And what about pizza ?
Steve: Neh, I don't think a pizza is big enough to put chicken legs, steak and noodles on.
Kimmy: You can serve it with the rest of the food.
Steve: Hey, that's a great idea.
DJ: Steve, who do we want to invite ?
Steve: Well, eh... your family, my family...
Kimmy: Me ?
Steve: You're no family.
DJ: No, but she's my friend.
Steve: I was not at that point yet. Okay, some friends...
Kimmy: My family.
Steve: It's a wedding, not a circus.
DJ: How much people do we want on the party ?
Steve: party ? When ?
DJ: At our wedding.
Steve: Hey, I knew that, I was just testing you.
We find Stephanie in her room when Gia walks in...
Stephanie: Hi Gia.
Gia: Hi. What was so important that I had to come over ?
Stephanie: Doing anything Monday ?
Gia: No, why ?
Stephanie: Then you will go with me to Europe.
Gia: Europe ? You mean that continent on the other side of the ocean ?
Stephanie: I see you didn't sleep through all of the geography classes.
Gia: Wow, Europe. Sure I wanna go. If my mom allows me.
Stephanie: I also have to ask my dad first.
The girls walk to the living room where Danny is...
Stephanie: Dad, about that trip to Europe...
Danny: Steph, you can't go by yourself, I already told you that.
Stephanie: And if Gia goes with me ?
Danny: Oh my god. I only said that because I thought you wouldn't find anybody to join you.
Gia: I'm gonna call my mom. (She walks to the phone)
Stephanie: Dad, you did promise...
Danny: I can't argue with you, I let DJ go, some years ago. You can go, on two conditions.
Stephanie: Anything you say.
Danny: First, you will call every day. And second, you will clean your room before you go.
Stephanie: oh man, do I really have to do that ?
Danny: It's clean or stay home.
Stephanie: I think you're very cruel, but if I can go...
Danny: That's my girl.
Then Gia calls Danny...
Gia: Mr. Tanner, my mother wants to talk to you.
Danny: (Takes the receiver from Gia) Hi Claire. Yes, Stephanie can go if Gia can go. Oh, I see.
No, that's bad. I will tell her the bad news. Okay, bye.
Gia: Can't I go ?
Danny: Worse, your mother can't vacuum, the vacuum cleaner broke down.
Stephanie: But can she go ?
Danny: Yes. But Gia, you have to go home now.
Gia: Okay, I'll see you Sunday night Steph.
Stephanie: Okay, bye.
We find Jesse and Becky in the Smash Club...
Jesse: I think I'm gonna make some changes around here.
Becky: Like what ?
Jesse: Well, some new paint against the walls, new furniture, and I'm thinking of having a part
build on at the back.
Becky: Wild plans Jess, and how would you like to pay it ?
Jesse: How do you think ? With money of course.
Becky: And how do you want to get the money ?
Jesse: I'll just take a loan at the bank. I recently paid off the other one.
Becky: Good luck, but I'm not sure if they will give it to you.
Jesse: They have to. And if they don't, I'll just rob the bank.
Becky: You're really into this, aren't you ?
customers, and keep the old ones.
Becky: But I thought you were already refreshing, with a dj, more different types of music...
Jesse: But this will be great.
Becky: As long as you don't have to choose toilet bowls again.
Jesse: No I won't, I only have to choose colors, seats, tables...
Becky: Here we go again.
Jesse: But look, I already choose some colors, what do you think, shall I paint this walls black or
white ? Or maybe blue ? Red is another option...
Becky: Why don't you just paint it the way you want it ?
Jesse: Because I can't find somebody who can paint Elvis heads.
Becky: That shouldn't be too hard.
Jesse: Well, they get close, but somehow it's not him.
Becky: And that new artist, who is inspired by Picasso ?
Jesse: That will be nice. Picasso was that man who painted that weird faces, wasn't he ?
Jesse: Then I'll just pass this guy. If he paints Elvis like that, he will look like Michael Jackson
before he got his face lifts.
We find Joey and the twins in Joey's room...
Joey: Boys, I didn't know so much stuff fitted under my bed.
Nicky: We neither.
Alex: We never saw a basketball under a bed that's not as high as the ball is.
Joey: Because there was a hole in that ball.
Nicky: And we also never saw an old pizza that walks away by its self.
Alex: And all those little animals.
Joey: I know, I think I found Michelle's old flea circus.
Nicky: But we still didn't find the source of that smell.
Joey: Uhw, I think I found it. (He takes something from under his bed)
Alex: What is it ?
Nicky: It looks like a sock.
Joey: Well, now you say that, I think you're right.
Alex: But I think it's rotting.
Joey: No, it looks more like mildew.
Nicky: Your room is just like the garbage dump.
Joey: I know, I'm already waiting for the next garbage truck to deliver some more.
Alex: Joey, I have a suggestion for you.
Nicky: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Alex ?
Alex: If you are thinking about cookies, I am.
Nicky: No, I was thinking about moving the bed in stead of getting under there to get all the
things out of there.
Alex: Hey, then I was thinking what you were thinking, you only said it and I didn't.
Nicky: Well, if you say it, we both thought and said it.
Alex: Clever thinking brother. Joey, why don't you move the bed, you can take the things from
under the bed easier then.
Nicky: You see, now we both said it.
Alex: That was fun.
Joey: Boys, that's a good idea, why didn't I come up with that before ?
Alex: Because we were doing the thinking.
Joey: Okay, can you help please ? Then we will move this bed.
The boys help Joey by pushing the bed to the middle of the room...
Alex: Double cool!
Then DJ enters the room...
DJ: Woa. Joey, you really created a whole new fauna under your bed.
Nicky: We're cleaning it up now.
DJ: I think some of those creatures there are protected by government law.
Joey: Nice to tell Danny, that would mean I can't clean this part.
Alex: Joey, what are you going to do with the window ?
Joey: I will fix it with some wood.
Nicky: That's not very practical silly!
Joey: Why not ?
Nicky: Because you can't look outside through wood.
DJ: They got you there Joey.
Joey: (Smiling) Come on, let's have a break.
Alex: Good, I need fresh air.
Joey: And something to drink ?
Nicky: only if we get chocolate cookies with it.
That Sunday we find Stephanie packing in her room when Danny walks in...
Danny: Stephanie, are you sure you wanna go ? I mean, I understand you will be very nervous,
are you ? And please make sure you don't forget your toothbrush, it looks weird to brush
your teeth with your finger. And...
Stephanie: Dad, I'm not nervous, you are.
Danny: Me ? Nervous ? No way, I am deadly calm. But do you have your passport ? And enough
money ? And if anybody asks you something and you don't trust him, about him, be
careful with boys and please don't end up in bed with them...
Stephanie: Dad, please take your valium, you're going to have a nervous breakdown.
Danny: Sorry, but it's the first time you're going on a trip this far on your own, well, actually
you're not going on your own, because Gia is with you, but...
Stephanie: Here you go again...
Then Jesse walks in...
Jesse: Do you need a drive to the airport, Steph ?
Stephanie: No, but thank you. Gia and I will take the bus, we don't want those goodbye scenes at
Danny: You don't ?
Stephanie: But don't worry dad, we will have it here at home.
Danny: Well, three hours to go before you leave. I can't say this enough, but be careful.
Stephanie: I will.
Danny: I have to say, you really did a good job on your room.
Jesse: About cleaning rooms, that colony of garbage trucks that's heading this way, is that all for
Joey's room ?
Danny: That wouldn't surprise me. It will take years to get all the dirt out of there.
Stephanie: I think we heard that enough now.
Jesse: By the way, I have something for you Steph, but don't open it before you're in your plane.
Stephanie: (Taking the present) Thanks, what is it ?
Jesse: If I tell you, it's no present anymore.
Stephanie: I could try.
Danny: We'll leave you then, I guess you need time to pack ?
Stephanie: I do. I have to put all my clothes in this case.
Danny and Jesse leave the room as DJ enters it...
DJ: Steph, can I give you some tips before you go ?
Stephanie: Sure. Go ahead.
DJ: First, don't do what Kimmy did when we went to Europe.
Stephanie: What did she do ?
DJ: She put some food in the puke bag. After she puked in it.
DJ: And when you're in Europe, make sure you have your camera with you all the time, you
might see things that you don't want to forget and probably never see again.
Stephanie: You still regret you forgot to take it with you ?
DJ: I sure do.
Stephanie: Anything else I should know ?
DJ: Yes, when you wanna send a postcard, make sure there are enough stamps on it.
Stephanie: Thanks, but how do I know how much it has to be ?
DJ: Just ask somebody and buy stamps that are worth two or three times the value they told you.
Stephanie: Why ?
DJ: You do want the postcards to arrive, don't you ?
We find Jesse, Becky and Mark in the Smash Club...
Jesse: I still don't understand why the bank doesn't want to give me a loan.
Mark: They must be crazy! This place can be a success when there are made some adjustments.
Jesse: I know. But the moment I became the owner of this club, I had a dream of making this
club better after some years.
Becky: But honey, you know dreams can't come true all the time.
Jesse: We need a miracle for this.
Mark: My dad said my mother said that I was a miracle, the moment I was born. And I don't
think anybody can disagree with that.
Jesse: What's that smell ?
Mark: I don't know, did I step into the dog mess again ?
Jesse: No, I was talking about that smell of self-esteem.
Becky: Mark, what did you mean when you said that ?
Mark: Just what I said, I always mean what I say, except when I say something else than what I
meant, capisci ?
Jesse: (Reading a newspaper) Well, I can close this business soon I guess. They're going to build
a new club at the opposite side of the street, it's gonna be bigger than this club.
Mark: You need a wonder huh ?
Jesse: Created by gods own hand I guess.
Becky: Honey, maybe it's not as bad as you think.
Mark: No, maybe not.
Jesse: Bye bye dreams. (He walks to the counter and sits down, with his head in his hands)
Becky: Oh dear.
Mark: I just came here to prepare the equipment for tonight, but this is getting a hard afternoon,
Becky: I never saw Jesse like this.
Jesse: It's over.
Mark: Look at it from the bright side, you've got me.
Jesse: I wish I had the money to..
Mark: Duhhuh! You don't get it, do you ? You know me, I have money - woa, I must be a
miracle, a wonder send by god, because if you didn't meat me, you would be doomed.
Jesse: Like I said, I've got you, but I need money and... you've got money ?
Mark: And we have a winner!
Jesse: You mean you want to give me a loan ?
Mark: Sure. I mean, I have all this money my father left me, and I'm not doing anything with it.
But there are some conditions. First, as long as I don't have the money back, I will be
owner of this place for 25 percent. And second, I would like to have a cola right now.
Jesse: That sounds fair. Are you sure ?
Mark: Hey, you're family, if I can help you to realize a dream, I will.
Jesse: Thank you Mark, you're a good kid.
Becky: You sure are.
Mark: Tomorrow you've got the money.
Jesse: But now you're a temporary companion, do you want to decide with me ?
Mark: No, I just want 25 percent of the profit, and that's to pay me back.
Becky: Very clever thinking Mark.
Jesse: Now you're sure you get money back.
Mark: Hey, somebody has to do the clever thinking.
That night we find Danny, DJ, Stephanie and Michelle in the living room...
Danny: Five minutes to go Steph.
Stephanie: I wonder where Gia is.
Then the doorbell rings...
Stephanie: That will be her (She opens the door)
Gia: Sorry I'm late. My mother delayed me.
Michelle: How do you want to get all those cases on the bus ?
Stephanie: We can't. That's why I called a cab.
DJ: Take good care of yourself.
Gia: What could possibly go wrong ?
Michelle: You could get lost, the plane could crash...
Stephanie: Michelle, please stop it, you will make dad so nervous he keeps me here.
Michelle: Hey, it could happen.
Stephanie: But it doesn't happen much, the chance of a plane crash is not as big of a train crash,
or a car crash.
Danny: Steph, I think I'll bring you there.
Stephanie: No thanks dad, we want to arrive on time.
Gia: It took me three hours to convince my mother that it's safe to let me go.
Danny: I'm still not convinced.
Stephanie: Dad, nothing will happen to us, we'll be home before you know.
Then Becky and the twins walk in...
Nicky: Stephanie, do you bring presents for us with you ?
Alex: We would like to have a gameboy.
Stephanie: I will see if I can find something for you.
Becky: But don't spoil them too much.
Michelle: But it's a tradition. When somebody goes on a holiday, he brings back presents for the
people that didn't join him or her.
Alex: I like this tradition.
Nicky: Me too.
Michelle: I know, it's a very good one.
Stephanie: Maybe I'll bring back a present like DJ did.
Danny: No thank you.
DJ: A second Steve ?
Becky: Jesse also wishes you much fun, he's sorry he couldn't be here.
Stephanie: That's al right.
Then Joey walks in...
Joey: Stephanie, god bye and have fun!
Stephanie: Thank you.
Gia: I believe the cab arrived.
Stephanie: Well, let's go then.
Danny: Wait, I'll help you with your cases.
All walk outside, Danny and Joey help putting the cases in the cab.
Stephanie: Bye dad, I'll call you as soon as we're there. (She hugs Danny)
Danny: Please remember the time difference, it's 7 till 9 hours later there.
Stephanie: So that would mean I can call at 9 in the morning there ?
Danny: (Laughing) Sure.
Stephanie and Gia step into the cab...
Stephanie: (Waving her hand) Bye !
The cab drives away, Danny and the other look at it until they can't see it anymore...
Danny: There she goes, my little girl.
Michelle: Dad, can I go next year ?
Danny: No. You have to wait till you're about 45.
Michelle: Sometimes I hate being the youngest daughter.
They all walk back inside....
That night we find the whole family except the twins watching television, when Mark comes by...
Mark: Hello. I just came by to ask if you could let Stephanie go, uncle Danny.
Danny: What shall I say ? With pain in my heart.
Mark: But just remember, Stephanie can take good care of her self.
Danny: I know.
Jesse: Is anybody watching this movie ?
Michelle: I'm not.
Joey: Me neither.
Jesse: Can we please change channels then ? There's a movie with Elvis on.
Becky: Sure, this is a dull show.
Mark: When did you start watching this show ?
Michelle: About fifteen minutes ago, after the x-files ended.
Steve: Is there some popcorn left ?
DJ: That's what I wanna know, you ate it all.
Steve: No I didn't.
DJ: You didn't ? Then why is that bowl empty ?
Steve: Because.. al right, I ate almost all of it, but I can't help it, my stomach said: 'eat, eat'.
Michelle: Doesn't your stomach say that every second ?
Danny: Wait, I'll get you some more. (He walks to the kitchen with the bowl)
Jesse: Great, this is the movie I was talking about.
Michelle: I'm gonna check e-mail. (She walks to the computer n the alcove)
Mark: (Walking with her) Me too.
Michelle: How ?
Mark: Ever heard of web-based e-mail ?
Michelle: Oh, yes I did.
Jesse: Ooh, look how great Elvis looks today.
Joey: Jess, that was in 1963.
Jesse: I don't care, he still looks great.
Becky: Jesse, you've seen this movie for about twenty times now.
Jesse: And it never gets boring watching it.
Steve: Well, I know what I would do when I was watching this movie for the seconds time.
DJ: What ?
Steve: Eating popcorn and read fine literature.
DJ: Like what ?
Steve: A cookery book.
Joey: Well, in read fine literature every day.
Steve: You read a cookery book every day ?
Joey: No, the tv-guide.
Michelle: Now that's what I call fine literature.
Becky: And what about a good book ?
DJ: Yes, like 'gone with the wind'.
Becky: Or 'Romeo and Juliet'.
Steve: Did they make a book of that movie ?
Mark: 'Hot girls in Hawaii'
Steve: Yeah, that's a good one.
Then Danny walks in with a fresh bowl of popcorn...
Danny: Thank god Jesse. Last time you watched this movie you were playbacking every word
Jesse: I still can.
Becky: No thanks, honey, we know how it sounds.
Jesse: Hey, what's this ?
Joey: An extra news flash.
Newsreader: We interrupt this movie for an important news flash.
Jesse: What can be more important than Elvis ?
Michelle: Shall we make a list ?
Danny: Quiet, I can't hear that man.
Newsreader: About 15 minutes ago, an airplane crashed near San Francisco airport. The plane
exploded immediately when it collapsed on the ground. How this happened is not
known yet. According to the police, it's impossible that any of the passengers
survived this crash. We're now switching to our reporter at the place of the accident.
Reporter: Thank you Bob. Behind me you can see the chaos. Firemen are trying to extinguish
the big fire that was created by the explosion. I just spoke to a policeman and he told
us that nobody can survive a crash like this. The airport is closed now, until the plane,
or what's left of it has been removed and inspected. Nobody knows how flight NW
8265 could crash, the plane was in a good condition.....
Danny: (Afraid) Oh no, tell me I'm dreaming. (He opens a drawer and searches something0
Steve: What's going on ?
DJ: Dad, this wasn't....
Danny: (Holding a piece of paper in front of him and stares at it) Oh no.
Michelle: What ?
Becky: I think I'm getting it.
DJ: Me too.
Danny: Did that reporter say flight NW8265 ?
Jesse: Yes he did.
Danny: (Crying) Oh no. Tell me this is just a bad dream.
Steve: What is it ?
DJ: Steve, don't you get it ?
Danny: Flight NW8265 ?
Joey: Didn't Stephanie say that...
Danny: She did. Stephanie was on that plane.
Jesse: Oh no.
All look frightened, nobody seems to know what to do......
To Be Continued....
-------------------------------------------- End Tune -----------------------------------------------
Full House - The new stories
Stephanie won a trip to Europe and Danny allows her to go with Gia. Jesse needs money to improve the Smash Club and Joey is cleaning his room. In a movie, a news flash brings bad news...