Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9

Episode (20) 212 - Family Funfair


We find Jesse and the twins on the attic...

Alex: Do you wanna play with us ?

Jesse: What ?

Nicky: Hide and seek.

Alex: We hide, and you seek.

Jesse: Okay boys. We will count. One, two...

Nicky and Alex walk away and hide behind the couch...

Jesse: Ten, here I come...

Jesse walks round in the room, and finds the boys...

Jesse: Gotcha!

Alex: Oh nuts.

Nicky: Double nuts!

Jesse: Now I will hide and you will seek.

Nicky: Okay. We will start counting...

Alex: One..

Jesse urns around...

Nicky: Two, here we come..

Alex: Gotcha!

Jesse: Got me ?

Alex: Yeah!

Jesse: I didn't think so, you got to catch me first. (He starts running around)

Nicky: Come on brother

Nicky and Alex chase Jesse...

Jesse: You can't catch me...

Alex: Wanna bet ?

Jesse stops to take a breath, when Nicky grabs his leg...

Nicky: Got you!

Jesse: Okay you win.

Alex: And we know what winners get...

Nicky: Ice-cream!

Jesse: Okay, follow me...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTRO -------------------------------------------------------------------------

We find Jesse and Michelle in the living room, when Danny runs into the door...

Danny: Everybody get in here!

Everybody comes from everywhere into the living room...

Stephanie: What's going on ?

Danny: I have great news! There will be a grand opening of a new attraction in the funfair and

Becky and I will do a live-report on that. And you guys will come with us.

Michelle: Cool, what kind of attraction ?

Danny: I believe a new rollercoaster, 'The Super Roller'.

Steve: Hey, I just love rollercoasters. Especially when they overturn.

DJ: That always makes me feeling dizzy, but it's fun to be in.

Kimmy: My mom made it her hobby, using rollercoasters that turn over, without the safety belts.

DJ: Doesn't she fall out then ?

Kimmy: No, she puts some chewed chewing gum on the seat.

Steve: So she sticks around there.

Danny: And you know what ? I have 4 tickets for the first ride of the Super Roller.

Stephanie: Cool, I definitely wanna go.

Michelle: Me too.

Danny: Come on, let's move to the cars, we don't wanna be late.

All get their coat and walk out of the door...

Later we find Joey, DJ, Nicky and Alex in the funfair at the mary-go-round...

Nicky: Can we go on this ride ?

Joey: Sure. I wanna go too. I love the mary-go-round.

Alex: Do you wanna go too, DJ ?

DJ: Sure, why not.

They get into the ride...

Joey: Gee, I still remember the last time I went on a mary-go-round. That sure was a long time

ago. And what did I feel miserable when I had to leave that thing.

DJ: You mean that time you went ten times in a row ?

Joey: Yeah, that one.

Nicky: Why did you have to stop ? Didn't your father allow you more rides ?
Joey: No, in fact it was the manager of the funfair.

Alex: When was that ?

Joey: Let me see, it's Saturday, right ? Well, uhm... the day before yesterday.

Nicky: You mean it was yesterday yesterday.

Joey: It always is yesterday yesterday, isn't it ? Just like tomorrow is tomorrow.

Alex: No, tomorrow is tomorrow Monday.

Joey: And that will make today today...

DJ: Saturday. It's all so simple Joey. Yesterday was yesterday Thursday, and then yesterday was

the day before the day before yesterday, and tomorrow is tommorow Monday and then

tomorrow is the day after the day after tomorrow, so that will be Tuesday. But whatever

yesterday was, or tomorrow will be, today will always be today.

Joey: Question: Am I stupid, or is it just difficult ?

DJ: Well, actually...

Nicky: Both.

Joey: Thanks, that's all I wanted to know.

Alex: Do we know more of these profound things brother ?

Nicky: Yes.

Joey: Boys, please. I think you're being very sophisticated for your age.

Alex: What ?

Nicky: Who ?

DJ: Slim Shady!

Joey: Huh ?

DJ: Never mind, look, the ride starts...

Joey: How wonderful, turning around and around.

Alex: Joey, why do they call it mary-go-round ?

Joey: Well, because... it goes round.

Nicky: We don't get the mary part.

Joey: I think that's because the very first ride in a mary-go-round was at Christmas. And that they

named it after that mary.

Nicky: What mary ?

Joey: Merry Christmas!

Alex: No way. You spelled the mary wrong.

Joey: Boys, I really don't know.

DJ: This is a big moment in history.

Alex: Why ?

DJ: Well, it's the first time my baby goes on this ride.

Joey: I remember the first time I went on this ride.

Nicky: How old were you ?

Joey: I wasn't even born.

DJ: Then how can you possibly know about it ?

Joey: Easy, I've heard the stories.

At the new rollercoaster, we find Danny, Becky, Jesse, Stephanie, Michelle, Kimmy and Steve...

Michelle: Wow!

Stephanie: It's big.

Danny: Woa, is this thing safe ?

Becky: They wouldn't use it when it was not safe, would they ?

Stephanie: Oh look, they're opening the gate.

Michelle: Let's go then.

Kimmy: Cool, let's ride.

Stephanie: Are you coming Steve ?

Steve: Uhm, I don't know. I just ate two hamburgers. I rather wait for DJ.

Kimmy: Hey, don't try to get out of this. (She pulls Steve with her)

Steve: Kimmy, don't. Help!

Jesse: Well, they rather go than me.

Becky: Danny, the show is bound to start.

Director: And, and we're on the air!

Danny: Welcome everybody...

Becky: This is Wake up San Francisco.

Danny: But it's 3 PM, so I guess you're already awake. My name is Danny Tanner...

Becky: And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.

Danny: And we're reporting a big happening today.

Becky: Right behind us, you see the great new rollercoaster that's going to be opened today.

Jesse: (Whispering) Psst. Becky.

Becky: (Whispering) Not now.

Jesse: (Whispering) But the rollercoaster is over there. (He points to the right)

Becky: Well ladies and gentleman, as you can see, there's no rollercoaster behind us, but it is over

there. I hope you liked the view over the freeway.

Danny: Well, only a few minutes to go till the first ride starts. People tried to get tickets for a

long time, but it was almost impossible. But I'm proud to announce that two of my

daughters, the boyfr...

Becky: Danny, like you said, we only have a few minutes before the opening.

Danny: Before this moment, we have a special guest. Please welcome Mr. Sommers, he

designed this rollercoaster. Welcome Mr. Sommers

Mr. Sommers: Thank you.

Becky: Can you tell us something about this attraction ? Like what is so special about it ?

Mr. Sommers: Well, first of all, it's the rollercoaster with the most curves in it of the whole

world. And second, it's the fastest rollercoaster in the world.

Danny: So there must be very strong safety belts, right ?

Mr. Sommers: Well, no. In fact there are no safety belts at all.

Danny: What ? Isn't that dangerous ?

Mr. Sommers: No, we have a very strong net for the people who drop out of it.

Becky: And for how long have you been testing ?

Mr. Sommers: Well, this is the very first ride.

Danny: What do you mean by that ?

Mr. Sommers: Just like I said, it hasn't been tested yet.

Danny: Oh my god.

Becky: Well Danny, it's going to happen now. Would you like to tell the audience again how

proud you are that your daughters are in it ?

Danny: I..... I .... (He faints away)

Jesse: Quick, bring some water. (He squats near Danny) I guess you are excited.

Becky: Well Mr. Sommers, now that Danny takes a nap, would you like to speak some magic

words before the big happening ?

Mr. Sommers: Well, I just wanted everybody to know that this rollercoaster is very safe. We

invented a brand new security system, that's much safer than the old safety belts.

Danny: (Sitting up) Well, I believe they are ready for take-off.

Announcer: Okay. People who have the honor of being the first ones on this brand new ride.

Are you ready ? Here we go. take off!

The rollercoaster starts moving....

Danny: Here they go.

In the rollercoaster...

Michelle: Wow, how exciting!

Kimmy: It's no big deal.

Stephanie: How do you know ?

Kimmy: there are some things that are more exciting than this.

Steve: Yeah ? Like what ?

Kimmy: My dad, shaving.

Michelle: What's exciting about that ?

Kimmy: he stands on his head and uses a big carving knife...

Stephanie: Woa, this is quick.

Michelle: Here we go, up for the first loop!

Steve: Oh no, I think I shouldn't have eat that second hamburger.

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Steve: Woa...

Michelle: There's the next one coming...

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Steve: Now I'm sure I ate too much.

Stephanie: Finally, we knew it all the time.

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Michelle: That was a good one.

Kimmy: Not as exciting as the mouse hunt my grandmother had last year. You know, that old Uzi

really did its work.

Michelle: You mean she shot the mouse ?

Kimmy: No squirt, she finally got the holes in the cheese...

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Stephanie: That was fast...

Michelle: And the next one is high!

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Steve: Did somebody bring a puke bag ?

Stephanie: Here, use this.

Kimmy: Hey, my lunch is in that bag.

Michelle: Now you get some extra special sauce.

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Aaaaaaahhh!!!

Michelle: That one was really high.

Stephanie: Camera coming up. Smile!

When they pass the camera, it flashes...

Kimmy: Damn, I didn't put make-up on, and my hair was a mess.

Stephanie: Kimmy, your hair looks fine.

Kimmy: Thank you.

Stephanie: With regard to the rest of you.

Steve: Isn't it over yet ?

Michelle: I believe so. There's the station we started.

The wagons stop...

Stephanie: Woa, what a ride.

Steve: I'm glad it's over.

Michelle: Uhm, I think it's not...

Stephanie: We're going backwards ?

Kimmy: Cool, just like my uncle Brad who went bungee-jumping without a rope.

Steve: I don't wanna here this.

Kimmy: He only felt down one meter, he's afraid of heights you see.

Michelle: I have the feeling something goes terribly wrong...

On the ground...

Danny: Is this supposed to happen ?

Mr. Sommers: Well, frankly... no.

Becky: Well, I guess our viewers are witness of a very special moment here, the first ride of the

new rollercoaster, with a bad end.

Danny: Please let it be not that bad.

In the rollercoaster...

Steve: I wish they stopped this thing.

Michelle: Me too.

Stephanie: I only have two words for this: How...rude!

Michelle: I agree with you.

Kimmy: At least this ride is worth the money.

The wagons are taking the big loop backwards, when they suddenly stop...

Stephanie: Happy now ?

Kimmy: Gee, the world is upside-down.

Michelle: No Kimmy, we are.

Stephanie + Michelle + Steve + Kimmy: Help!

Announcer: As you can see, there are some minor problems with the machine. It looks like a

malfunction in the computer system.

Jesse: Do they call this a minor problem ?

Danny: They are hanging there.

In the wagon...

Kimmy: Oh no, are we doomed to die ?

Stephanie: if so, you can go first. But you have to see the bright side of this all Kimmy.

Kimmy: What bright side ?

Stephanie: Well, with all the blood streaming to your head, it won't be hollow there anymore.

Kimmy: Good point.

Steve: I swear, when I get out of this, I won't eat anything for the next three hours.

Then the wagons are running again, slowly forward...

Michelle: Well Steve, welcome your diet.

Some later we find Stephanie, Michelle, Steve and Kimmy save on the ground with the others...

Danny: Thank god your safe. I don't know what I had done if you had been there some longer.

Kimmy: I'm so happy that you care about me.

Danny: Yeah sure.

Steve: Wow, this really makes me feel hungry. Ooh, burrito's, I'll be right back.

Michelle: And what about your diet ?

Steve: Hey, I've got an empty stomach.

Kimmy: (Eating one of her sandwiches) How come, you ate two hamburgers before the ride.

Stephanie: Remember what he did with that on the ride, with your bag of sandwiches ?

Kimmy: Let me see... Uhw groas! You mean that I was eating...

Jesse: Kimmy, what is that sauce I see there ? it looks like puke.

Michelle: It is.

Kimmy: Oh my god. (She runs away to a garbage can and throws the bag away)

Becky: Well people, this was wake-up San Francisco, live from the grand opening of the Super

Roller. I am Rebecca Donaldson.

Danny: And I am Danny Tanner.

Danny + Becky: See you tomorrow! (They look at each other) Hey, I was gonna say that.

Director: And...cut! Great show everybody.

Then DJ, Joey and the twins walk to the others...

DJ: Hi guys.

Becky: Hi. Did you have fun ?

Nicky: Yes.

Alex: We have been in the mary-go-round.

Nicky: And we have been in the dodgem cars.

Joey: They are pretty good drivers.

Alex: We bumped into Joey's car ten times.

Nicky: And he couldn't do anything.

Joey: Hey, I couldn't help it. How was I supposed to know that the gas pedal didn't work.

DJ: Joey, you were pushing the break all the time.

Becky: So you drove all by yourself, boys ?

Nicky: Yes we did.

Alex: Joey told us what to do.

Nicky: And he didn't do it right.

Jesse: That's known boys. That's a known fact.

DJ: So, did anything exciting happen here ? How was the ride ?

Michelle: It was so fun.

Stephanie: It's a great rollercoaster, only it didn't work properly.

Michelle: The rollercoaster rolled for a second time.

Joey: hey, so you had double fun!

Stephanie: And it went backwards.

Steve: (Walking to the others) Woa, you really have to try those burrito's there wonderful.

DJ: No thanks, I just had two hotdogs and a bag of popcorn.

Steve: Gee, Deej, when did you start eating that much ?

DJ: I think it's the baby that needs all the food.

Becky: Tell me about it. When I was expecting the boys, I started eating a lot more than I used to

do. I even send Jesse to get a bag of potato chips.

Jesse: Yeah, every hour two times.

DJ: Well, Steve, could you get me a nice big ice cream ? With extra sprinkles ?

Steve: Huh ?

Nicky + Alex: Ice-cream!

Danny: I've got a better idea. Let's all take ice cream. But first we're gonna do one more thing.

Jesse: Like what ?

Danny: Splash mountain!

Some later we find all at the Splash mountain...

Danny: We will take 3 wagons.

Jesse, Becky and the twins get into one wagon...

Jesse: Can I sit in the back, I've heard the one in the front catches most of the water.

Becky: No honey, sure you won't.

Jesse: You sure ? It's really bad for my hair if....

Becky: Get in.

Jesse sits down...

Danny: We'll wait for you here.

The Katsopolis family starts the ride...

Jesse: Are you sure it's safe for my hair ? I know it doesn't like to be wet when it's not necessary.

Becky: Jesse, it gets wet unnecessarily every day. When you wash it for the fifth time at noon.

Jesse: Hey, great hair needs a lot of care.

Nicky: Yippie!

Alex: We're going up!

Nicky: this means the big splash!

Jesse: It does ?

Before somebody can answer, the wagon shoots down and end up horizontally with a big splash of water, just over Jesse...

Jesse: (Opening his eyes and spitting some water out of his mouth) I'm wet.

Becky: (Laughing) I know.

Jesse: What's so funny about that ?

Becky: Jess, didn't you enjoy this ? I'm wet too, and the boys, same story.

Jesse: But I'm the wettest.

They arrive at the rest of the family...

Michelle: I'm next.

Stephanie and Michelle get in, Danny and Joey follow them...

Michelle: I wanna sit in the front.

Danny: I'll sit in the back, I don't want to catch too much water.

Stephanie: Here we go.

Joey: Is my hair a mess ? I know there's a camera coming when we go down.

Danny: Joey, your hair will be blowing in the wind.

Joey: Thanks, that's all I needed to know.

Michelle: Here we go.

Danny: I'm glad I'm in the back. You will catch all the water.

The wagon goes down...

Stephanie: One..two...three.. Down!

Stephanie and Michelle duck, when Joey sees this, he ducks too, the wagon gets horizontally and the splash gets down on Danny...

Michelle: This was fun!

Danny: I..I..

Stephanie: Having fun, sitting in the back ?

Joey: Girls, this was very mean of you.

Michelle: What, ducking ?

Joey: No, not telling me that you were going to duck. I could have been wet.

Danny: But now I am.

Joey: Okay, now I can forgive you girls.

They arrive at the others...

Jesse: Well Danny, I guess your strategy worked out as good as mine ?

Danny: They cheated.

DJ, Steve and Kimmy get in...

Danny: see you in a minute.

Nicky: I wanna go again.

Alex: Me too, this was fun.

Michelle: I wanna go again too. Can I dad ?

Danny: Sure, when Dj, Steve and Kimmy are back.

In the wagon...

Steve: (Sitting in the front) Too bad.

DJ: What ?

Steve: My soda is almost finished...

Then they go down...

Kimmy: Oh no.

DJ: What ?

Kimmy: I forgot to smile in the camera.

Then the splash comes and makes them all wet...

Steve: Wow, this is good.

DJ: We're all wet.

Steve: No, my carton of soda is full again.

They arrive at the others...

Danny: Had fun ?

Steve: Yeah, I got a free drink.

Later we find Jesse, Becky and the twins at the try-your-strength machine...

Nicky: Daddy, can you do this ?

Jesse: Can I do this ? Of course I can.

Alex: Yeah right.

Nicky: Show it!

Jesse: You want to see your dad win the first prize ? Step a side, I'll show you. Look how I take

this sledge. I lift it up and will hit the metal with full strength. (He lifts the sledge and hits

the metal. The bullet in the machine goes up half way.) I was just warming up boys. This

time it's for real. (He does it again, but the bullet goes just a little higher than the first time)

Alex: You can't do this.

Nicky: Mummy, can you do this ?

Jesse: No boys, if I can't do this, your mother can't do it either.

Becky: Oh yeah ? Give me that sledge.

Jesse gives the sledge to his wife...

Jesse: Like you can do this better.

Becky: Watch me. (Becky lifts the sledge and hits the metal. The bullet shoots up and hits the

bell) Happy now ?

Jesse: Huh ? What ? how?

Nicky + Alex: Yeah! Yippee!

Becky: Practise, just practise.

Jesse: What do you mean, practise ?

Becky: Easy. Back in Nebraska, on the farm, I had to cut wood. So I know the moves. And I built

my own treehouse once, with nails and a hammer.

Jesse: Let me try again. (He takes the sledge and hits the metal again, but again he doesn't reach

the bell) Wait boys, I will succeed.

Becky: Boys, this is gonna last.

Alex: Daddy, mummy is better than you.

Nicky: She is stronger.

Jesse: No way. (He takes the sledge again and hits the metal. This time the bullet just misses the

bell) Look, I already made some progress.

Becky: You can't have it can you ? That I can do this and you can't.

Jesse: What makes you think that ? Of course not. I just want to show that I can do this, just like

you can, but that I'm still bett... That's what you said, isn't it ?

Becky: Yes it is. Why is it bothering you ?

Jesse: Well, I don't know, I guess I want to be the man.

Becky: Honey, you are the man.

Jesse: I guess I am, not ? And the great part is, I have great hair. I'm sorry Becky.

Becky: It's okay.

We find Danny, Stephanie, Michelle, Joey and Kimmy at the shooting gallery...

Stephanie: dad, can I try this ?

Danny: Sure. Do you know how to use a rifle ?

Stephanie: No. But I will find out when I use it.

Joey: (Imitating Bullwinkle) Gee, let's hide. I believe the hunt season has opened. And I don't

want to be the prey.

Kimmy: I once shot the first prize.

Stephanie: If you don't look out, I will shoot you.

Kimmy: Wow, please do that, it's such a long time ago my brother chased me with my

grandfathers gun. Gee, those were happy times.

Michelle: Didn't your brother hit you ? Like in your head ?

Kimmy: As far as I know he didn't. But why would he ? Then he wouldn't have me anymore to

chase. And what fun would that be ?

Stephanie: You don't wanna know what that would mean to me.

Danny: Be careful Steph.

Stephanie: I will. What do I have to aim on ?

Danny: The bullseye over there.

Stephanie: Okay. (She aims and shoots. She just misses the bullseye)

Danny: Not bad. Let's move on now.

Stephanie: No, I still have four more shots. I wanna hit that bullseye. (She aims again and hits a

balloon that bangs)

Joey: (Making a funny voice) Oh no, we are under attack! They are throwing bombs at us!

Stephanie: Joey! (She aims again and shoots. This time she hits the bullseye) Yes!

Danny: Woa, how did you do that Steph ?

Stephanie: Easy, I aimed and shot!

Michelle: Can I try too dad ?

Danny: Sure, you can use the bullets Stephanie has left. But be careful.

Michelle takes the gun from Stephanie. She aims and shoots. She hits a teddybear...

Michelle: Oops.

Joey: Oh no, you shot a bear!

Michelle: Well, one bullet to go. (She aims again and shoots, the bullet hits a post and moves on

to end up in another teddybear) Oh nuts!

Kimmy: He quirt, you have to hit the bullseye, not the animals.

Michelle: Be happy that I didn't hit you.

Later that day we find the whole clan at the Tanner house...

Michelle: What a great day!

DJ: I really enjoyed myself.

Steve: Me too.

DJ: I believe you enjoyed the food most of all.

Steve: But they had delicious hotdogs, burrito's and hamburgers.

Nicky: And ice-cream.

Alex: Too bad we didn't get more.

Jesse: hey, you both had two big ones.

Nicky: But we wanted to have a third.

Danny: I think I'm gonna change my clothes. They're still a little wet from that Splash mountain.

Jesse: Good idea. I also have to take care of my hair. Those poor fellows are feeling very bad

about that splash of water.

Michelle: Those pictures are very good.

Stephanie: There's only one problem with this one.

Michelle: What ?

Stephanie: Kimmy is looking in the camera.

Joey: I think I'm going to test the prizes I've won.

Becky: You mean you're going to play with your watergun ?

Joey: Yes.

Nicky: Cool!

Alex: Double cool!

Nicky: we will help you.

Joey: Okay. Follow me.

Danny: Be careful and don't spoil any water on the floor. I waxed it only yesterday.

Steve: Oops. Then I think it's a good thing you don't know I accidentally dropped my cola on the

floor and forgot to clean it up.

Michelle: very smart, now he knows.

Steve: He does ?

Michelle: you told him.

Steve: Oh yeah, I did. That was not very smart of me.

Danny: Come, let's get ready for diner. But first clean up.

All walk out of the living room...

------------------------------------------------- End Tune -----------------------------------------------------------------

Full House - The new stories
Episode 20 (212)- Family Funfair

Danny and Becky can do a live report of the opening of a brand new rollercoaster. The rest of the family joins them to the funfair. Stephanie, Michelle, Steve and Kimmy are on the very first ride of the rollercoaster and everybody is having fun in Splash Mountain

Main characters:
Danny: Danny Tanner
DJ: DJ Tanner
Stephanie: Stephanie Tanner
Michelle: Michelle Tanner
Joey: Joey Gladstone
Jesse: Jesse Katsopolis
Becky: Becky Katsopolis-Donaldson
Nicky: Nicky Katsopolis
Alex: Alex Katsopolis
Steve: Steve Hale
Kimmy: Kimmy Gibbler
Comet: The dog

Director of Wake Up San Francisco
Mr. Sommers:
The man who invited the new rollercoaster
Announcer that announced the opening

Episode information:
Story written by: Martin van Dam
Based upon: The orignal series of Full House, created by Jeff Franklin
Lay-out: Martin van Dam
Written for: Full House Forever
Released: 11/04/1999