Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9
Episode (21) 213 - Danny Goes To Camp
We find Becky and the twins on the attic...
Nicky: Alex, give me that pillow.
Alex: Why ?
Nicky: Because I want to hit you with it.
Alex: Why ?
Nicky: Because I like a pillow-fight.
Alex: Oh yeah, me too brother.
Alex takes a pillow and hits Nicky. He also gets a pillow and hits Alex...
Becky: Boys, you're much too old for a pillow-fight.
Nicky: No we're not.
Alex: We're still little boys.
Becky: And yesterday you became angry with me when I called you little boys, I remember you
saying 'we're big boys mummy'.
Nicky: But that was because we wanted to see the big kids movie.
Becky: So you are as old as you wanna be ?
Becky: So if I told you you have to be younger than 7 years old to eat ice-cream you're younger
and when I told you you have to be older than seven you would say that you're older ?
Becky: Well, maybe you're never too old for a pillow-fight.
Then Joey walks up the stairs...
Joey: Cool, a pillow-fight! Can I join you boys ?
Becky: Like I said, maybe you are never too old for a pillow-fight.
Then Nicky throws a pillow and hits Becky...
Becky: Come here you, I'll get you now.
Becky joins the fight...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- INTRO -------------------------------------------------------------------------
We find Michelle walking into the living room where Danny is waxing the vacuum-cleaner (!)....
Michelle: Hi dad.
Danny: Hi honey, how was school ?
Michelle: Bad. You know that camp we were supposed to have next week ? One of the adult
leaders got sick and now there are not enough of them, so we can't go.
Danny: And you looked so much forward to this camp.
Michelle: Yes. I thought it would be fun to be on a camp with some friends.
Danny: I'm sure they find a solution honey.
Michelle: Well, the camp could go on, if somebody would take the place of the sick adult.
Danny: I'm sure they'll find somebody.
Michelle: Dad ?
Danny: Yes ?
Michelle: You're an adult.
Danny: Are trying to say what I think you're trying to say ?
Michelle: That depends on what you think I'm thinking.
Danny: I hope this is not an attempt to make me volunteer, is it ?
Michelle: (Playing innocent) No way, I would never do something like that.
Then Jesse walks in...
Danny: Michelle, there's the perfect volunteer.
Jesse: No, not this time. The last time I volunteered they ruined my hair. It's still suffering.
Danny: Jesse, you don't even know what's going on.
Jesse: I didn't know that the last time.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse, do you wanna go to camp with me ?
Jesse: No I don't.
Michelle: (Sad) Yes you do.
Jesse: No I don't.
Michelle: Yes you do.
Jesse: No I don't and this trick doesn't work anymore.
Michelle: Oh nuts!
Jesse: Look, sure I wanna go, but I have some important business to take care of next week.
Michelle: Like what ?
Jesse: I have an appointment with my hairdresser, Allejandro.
Michelle: When ?
Danny: I think Monday till Friday.
Jesse: No Danny. It's from Tuesday till Friday. But I also have to be at the Smash Club,
the redecoration starts next week.
Michelle: Well, then I try Joey.
Jesse: Joey ? He needs his own adult leader.
Danny: Okay, I'll try to get a week off from the show.
Michelle: You mean you wanna go with me ?
Danny: I'll try.
Michelle: thanks dad. I have to call Denise and tell her. (She runs up the stairs)
We find Jesse and Joey walking into the Smash Club, where Mark is...
Mark: Hello boys!
Jesse: Hi mark. What are you doing here ?
Mark: I'm trying to think up some adjustments to this club, with the redecoration coming up.
Jesse: But I already ordered all the paint and other stuff.
Mark: No, I wasn't thinking of that. I think this club needs a blacklight.
Jesse: Call me stupid, but what is a blacklight ?
Joey: You're stupid. A blacklight is a light that shines black.
Mark: No, a blacklight is a very fast flashing bright white light.
Jesse: And what does it do ?
Mark: The effect is almost the same as blinking your eyes very fast. It's very cool.
Joey: (Blinking his eyes) Oh man, this is cool! Jess, you're in slow-motion.
Jesse: Shut up nutcase.
Mark: It's a fun thing.
Joey: I see, please order one, I don't think my eyelids can hold this much longer.
Jesse: I have to think about that.
Mark: I also have another idea.
Jesse: What ?
Mark: Well, if you want to have more people coming here, I think you have to have some every
week returning happenings.
Jesse: Hey, I like this idea. Do you have some suggestions ?
Mark: I have a whole schedule ready. Friday, the new talents, Saturday I'm here, Sunday
karaoke, Monday closed, Tuesday...
Jesse: I've heard enough. Tuesday till Thursday will be just like they are, but Friday till Monday
are alright. Can you make some more detailed plans ?
Mark: Already done. Here they are!
Jesse: woa, you take this seriously, don't you ?
Mark: I had some time off yesterday.
Jesse: next time you have some time off, could you please check if we have to order something ?
Joey: Look out that you don't loose your eye. Or you will just look like captain Hook.
(Impressing a sailor's voice) Get me that peter Pan boy, or you'll be sushi to the fish!
Mark: (Pointing to Jesse) He's all yours.
Joey: (With the sailor's voice) Come on mate, let's see if the sharks are hungry today.
We find Danny in the living room when Stephanie and Gia walk in...
Stephanie: It's true, I'm telling you.
Gia: No way. She wouldn't do that.
Danny: Hi girls.
Stephanie: But she did. I saw it with my own eyes.
Gia: But she told me...
Danny: Girls, I said 'hello'.
Stephanie: Hi dad. Gia, just believe me, I'm telling the truth.
Danny: I must agree with Stephanie on this point, she hardly ever tells a lie.
Stephanie: You see ? My dad believes me.
Gia: Your dad doesn't know what this conversation is about.
Danny: Good point Gia.
Gia: Thank you. You see Steph, now he agrees with me. Mr. Tanner, I have to say, you look
Danny: Thank you Gia. But can somebody tell me what you were talking about ?
Stephanie: Gia doesn't believe me when I say that I saw Macy Saunders kiss Todd Reynolds.
Gia: Yesterday she told me she can't stand him.
Stephanie: You did that with Michael last year.
Gia: Hey, that was on Halloween. He was in disguise, I thought he was Brad.
Stephanie: Brad ? Gia, you know Brad already has a girlfriend... and a son.
Danny: One of your class mates has a son ? Gee, I must become old now I guess.
Gia: Don't worry about that Mr. Tanner. When you walk straight, nobody notices the gray hair on
the top of your head.
Danny: Thanks for the tip.
Stephanie and Gia walk up the stairs...
Danny: Maybe I should color my hair..
Then Michelle walks in..
Michelle: Hi dad.
Danny: Hi sweety.
Michelle: Are you ready for tomorrow ?
Danny: I sure am. Becky will do the show on her own and Dj will take care of the house.
Michelle: Did you pack our stuff ?
Danny: Yes I did.
Michelle: You didn't forget to put my tracksuit in, did you ?
Danny: No I didn't forget. But there was just no space free in your case.
Michelle: Why not ?
Michelle: Dad, we're going on a camp. We are supposed to get dirty and make everything look
dirty. We are not going to the White House.
Danny: You're right. I guess I can miss one bottle of wax. Three will menace.
Michelle: This is gonna be a long trip.
Then DJ walks in...
DJ: Ready to go, Michelle ?
Michelle: I am, but I'm not sure if dad is.
DJ: Don't say it. I guess he packed all his cleaning stuff again ? He did that once when I went on
a camp. I know I felt embarrassed.
Michelle: Why, did he start to clean the camp ?
DJ: No, he wasn't even there with me.
Michelle: What a bad week that must have been.
DJ: Well, have fun Michelle. Take good care of dad, he'll need that. And this time, let the
bunnies at the camp.
Michelle: Oh, you mean Gilbert.
DJ: Yes. And don't let anybody scare you with scary stories.
The next morning we find Michelle and Danny arriving at Michelle's school...
Mrs. Cook: Hello, I'm Michelle's teacher.
Danny: Danny Tanner.
Mrs. Cook: I'm so glad you want to join the kids.
Danny: Ah, well, I know how excited Michelle was when she heard about this trip.
Mrs. Cook: Well, I hope we will have much fun.
Then Aaron walks towards Michelle...
Aaron: Michelle, did your daddy have to bring you ? I guess you are afraid to go alone ?
Michelle: Well, at least I don't need baby powder.
Aaron: Hey, that's not fair.
Danny: Aaron listen. You can choose. Or you will behave and this will be a great week. Or you
don't behave and I'm gonna make your life miserable.
Aaron: Like how ?
Danny: Like letting you do all the dishes all week long.
Aaron: You don't dare to do that.
Michelle: Don't try him out Aaron.
Aaron: Ooh, I'm scared.
Danny: I think I let you do the windows too.
Aaron: Your crazy.
Danny: And you have a big mouth.
Aaron walks away, when Denise walks to Michelle...
Denise: Hi Michelle.
Michelle: Hi Denise. I brought a bag of potato chips with me.
Denise: What taste ?
Michelle: Cheese Onion.
Denise: Cool. Wanna trade ? I've got paprika taste.
Michelle: I think we will work some kind of deal out.
Denise: Okay then. Shall we take a seat in the bus ?
Michelle: Good idea. I see you later dad.
Danny: Alright honey, see you later.
Mrs. Cook walks back to Danny...
Mrs. Cook: Bad news. Mrs. Carter is sick too. So it's just the two of us.
Danny: Just you and me ? And twenty kids ?
Mrs. Cook: Yes, that's right. But we will menace Mr. Tanner.
Danny: Oh, please call me Danny.
Mrs. Cook: And you call me Dora, Danny.
Mrs. Cook walks away...
Danny: (To himself) Ten kids the man ? Oh my god!
That night we find Jesse, Joey, Stephanie, DJ, Becky, the twins and Steve in the kitchen...
Steve: Gee, I wonder what we're eating. I'm starving.
Becky: well, I made..no, I tried to make something delicious.
Jesse: Oh no.
Stephanie: And, did it work ?
Becky: Not quit. The pasta must be eaten with a straw.
Steve: Wow, I never ate that before, liquid pasta.
Jesse: And what happened to the chicken ?
Becky: What shall I say ? Well, uhm, it is not what you think it is.
Jesse: So it's not burned ?
Becky: No, not really. It's still frozen. I forgot to take it out of the refrigerator before I put it in
the oven. So it needs some time.
DJ: For how long has the chicken been in the oven now ?
Becky: For about three hours now.
Joey: Well, that explains the smoke coming out of the oven.
Becky: Oh no. It's ruined. I'm the worst cook in the whole world.
Jesse: No you're not honey. Yes, you have some problems cooking, but I'm sure there's
somebody who cooks worse than you do.
Becky: Yeah ? Like who ?
Jesse: Well, uhm... help me out guys.
Steve: Like all those people with big houses who hire their private cooks. I bet they can't cook.
DJ: Steve, those people only hire a cook because they are rich and spoiled.
Stephanie: I thought you thought it was quit handy when you were dating Nelson.
Nicky: Mommy, did any of the food turned out right ?
Alex: Or shall we order pizza ?
Becky: Well, the Brussels sprouts are right.
Alex: I don't like Brussels sprouts.
Nicky: Me neither.
Joey: Yeah, me neither.
Becky: What's the number of Mario's ?
Steve: 555-1534. But every Monday they are closed.
Jesse: Well, what about Jim's steakhouse ?
Steve: 555-6322. But they are closed too.
DJ: Also every Monday ?
Steve: No, the restaurant burned down.
Becky: And what about that new place, that Chinese restaurant in town, what's it's name...
Joey: You mean Mr. Wongs Wok World ?
Stephanie: Hey Steve, do you also have the phone number of Brad Pit ?
Steve: What restaurant does he own ?
Stephanie: As far as I know none.
Steve: Then I don't know.
Jesse: But is Mr. Wong opened today ?
Steve: I believe so. I believe they have special chicken legs.
Joey: What's so special about them ?
Steve: I'm not sure, but I believe they are from Chinese chicken.
Jesse: Ooh, very special.
Becky: I would never have thought of that with a Chinese cook.
At the camp we find Danny...
Danny: Okay kids, it's time for games!
Aaron: What games ?
Danny: To start, hit the big-mouth Aaron.
Aaron: Don't get rude!
Danny: I can't help it., I think it's you.
Mrs. Cook: Mr. Tanner... Danny, good news, we have somebody to help us out some more.
Danny: Thank god. Who is it ?
Kimmy: Hi T-bone. I'm here to help you out!
Danny: Aah! This must be a joke.
Mrs. Cook: You know each other ?
Danny: Unfortunately yes.
Kimmy: Isn't it great ? You, me, the kids, together for a week.
Danny: I want my mommy.
Michelle: Dad, I'm confused. Are we going to play hit the big-mouth Aaron, or hit the brainless
Michelle: This will lighten up my day!
Kimmy: Good idea that game, I have some sore muscles on my back, can you hit me some
harder there ?
Kimmy: I know something fun, let's make marshmallows!
Denise: Good idea.
Michelle: Sounds good. You know, Kimmy, sometimes you have a good idea.
Kimmy: I do ?
Mrs. Cook: Marshmallows, that sounds great. Come, let's make a campfire.
Danny: A campfire ? Don't you know that can be dangerous in the woods ?
Mrs. Cook: Danny, we have some special rules to follow here. I guarantee it's completely safe.
Kimmy: And if it goes wrong, we will have a very big campfire to make the marshmallows.
Aaron: And now you think I will search some wood to make the fire ?
Michelle: Aaron, you will be used to make the fire.
Denise: Neh, it's not legal to burn him. There will be too much toxic gasses in the air then.
Aaron: hey, did you just insult me ?
Denise: No, I was teaching the others about your body.
Michelle: Maybe he's family of Kimmy.
Kimmy: Hey, that's very hard to say.
Michelle: I know. I'm sorry Aaron.
Aaron: Okay, I will leave it with this, but that's only this time.
Michelle: Aaron, you've got a bad attitude!
Aaron: I know, and I'm proud of it!
Kimmy: Okay, happy campers, let's go outside, the fire is ready!
Danny: You made the fire ? How ?
Kimmy: Easy. I found a jerrycan with petrol and I emptied it on the ground. One match and
whoosh, a nice flame.
Danny: Oh my god. We need water! (He runs outside)
Michelle: This will be a very fun week!
Denise: That Kimmy is stupid
Michelle: That's old news.
The next morning in the camp...
Mrs. Cook: Danny, I don't feel very well this morning.
Danny: I hope you don't mean you're sick ?
Mrs. Cook: Well, in fact I am. I really have to see a doctor. (She coughs)
Danny: Oh no. Now I'm all alone with the kids.
Kimmy: Don't worry T-bone, you still have me.
Danny: That's even worse.
Mrs. Cook: If you can't menace, the kids just have to go home.
Danny: I know.
Michelle looks at Danny with a sad face...
Danny: But I'm sure I'll work out something.
Mrs. Cook: I'm sure you will. If you would excuse me, I'm gonna call my husband, he has to
pick me up.
Kimmy: So now it's just you and me.
Danny: That means just me.
Michelle: I'm still here.
Danny: That's nice to know sweety, but you can't help me taking care of you.
Michelle: Why not ?
Danny: Well, that would be the same as trying to beat yourself with Twister.
Michelle: Hm, I once tried that, and it was very hard to beat my self.
Kimmy: I once tried to beat myself with monopoly, but I believe I bought the wrong streets all
the time. I even started fighting with my self, because I thought I had bought a street I
wanted to buy.
Michelle: Kimmy, you started fighting with yourself ?
Kimmy: Yes, what's wrong with that ?
Danny: Nothing, only that people usually call it schizophrenia.
Michelle: Dad, that can't be. I thought people who are suffering from schizophrenia have to
personalities, Kimmy doesn't even have one personality.
Kimmy: But how do you want to solve the problem Tann-man ?
Danny: I don't know, we have to find a replacement.
Michelle: can I give you a suggestion ?
Kimmy: As long as it's not contagious. I don't wanna be sick too.
Michelle: Then I would not have a look in the mirror if I were you.
Danny: I know, I call Joey, maybe he wants to help me out.
Denise: Yeah, that would be fun. That man is a real joke-machine!
Aaron: What use is somebody who sleeps in a turtle pyjamas ?
Michelle: You should know, you wear them too.
Denise, Michelle and the other kids laugh...
Aaron: Mr. Tanner, they are teasing me.
Danny: Okay, kids. Are you teasing Aaron ? Good work!
Aaron: Traitor! (He walks away)
Later we find Joey arriving at the camp...
Danny: Joey, I'm so glad to see you.
Joey: me too. I missed you so much. (He hugs Danny)
Danny: (Laughing) Joey, I get the point.
Michelle: Joey, this will be so fun, hanging out with you! Did you bring some fun stuff ?
Joey: Well, actually I did. What do you think of water balloons ?
Michelle: You really know what fun is!
Aaron: I think it's childish.
Joey: Then I have something very special for you.
Aaron: What, a Batman comic ?
Joey: No, Michelle already told me you have them all. No, I have a very special surprise for you.
Aaron: it better be good.
Joey: Oh, trust me, it is. Here, the very first water balloon!
Joey holds the balloon over Aaron's head and sticks a needle in it. The water splashes over Aaron and he gets wet....
Aaron: Hey, this is not funny!
Michelle: Yes it is!
Denise: Wow, you really know how to entertain us!
Joey: Hey, I'm just one of you.
They walk inside...
Danny: How are things at the house ?
Joey: Fine. Becky cooked yesterday.
Danny: Oh my! What did you order ?
Denise: Joey, do you know some fun games to play ?
Kimmy: I know one. It's called 'Ghosthunt'.
Michelle: Well, I know who's playing the ghost. Kimmy.
Kimmy: Hey, that was a surprise!
Denise: You just gave it away girl. We only have to look at you.
Kimmy: But do you know how to play it ?
Aaron: No, tell us!
Kimmy: Okay then. When it's dark, I'll hide in the woods and you will have to find me. The one
that catches me wins.
Michelle: Good idea! (Whispering to Joey) Joey, I'm sure you'll think up something to do when
she's hiding, won't you ?
Joey: I sure will!
In the Smash Club...
Jesse: Thanks for helping me out guys.
Mark: Well, somebody has to paint.
Stephanie: Why did the painters call off ?
Jesse: Because they had a more important job.
DJ: Like what ?
Jesse: One of them won a trip for the whole company to Hawaii.
Steve: Well, that's more fun than painting this club...
The others look at him...
Steve: But this is quit cosy too. Together painting...
Jesse: Don't talk, let's paint.
Mark: Can I have a brush please ?
Jesse: You know where they are.
Mark: How should I know ?
Jesse: You bought them, did you ?
Mark: No, you would buy them, I would make sure the furniture is covered with sheets.
Jesse: No, I would buy... Joey would buy the brushes.
Mark: And he's not here!
Stephanie: How are we going to put the paint against the wall ?
Steve: I have an idea. We can lift the cans of paint and throw the paint against the wall.
Stephanie: I can live with that!
Stephanie and Steve take a can of paint...
Jesse: Ho! I can't live with that. We'll think up something.
Nicky: we can finger paint.
Alex: We are good in that!
Mark: Let me do that, I have big hands.
Becky: Jess, I thought you had brushes in your office.
Jesse: Yes of course, the brushes from the paint artists, that group that performed here last week.
DJ: Then the problem is solved.
Jesse: Not quit, there are only two brushes.
Mark: Hey, there are other things that have to be done around here! For example, I will get that
socket out of the wall, that makes it easier for you to paint.
Mark walks to the socket and puts a screwdriver in...
Becky: mark, are you sure what you're doing ?
Mark: Yes. Why ?
Becky: Well, everybody knows that if you...
Suddenly Mark gets powered by the socket...
Becky: Put a screwdriver in a socket you can get electrified.
Stephanie: Mark, are you alright ?
Mark: I sure am! I have plenty energy left now!
Steve: No wonder, you almost got electrified.
Stephanie: Well, you don't need a new haircut, your crew cut is perfect now.
Later that week at the camp...
Danny: Okay kids, the bus is here!
Michelle: I don't wanna go home, I had so much fun this week!
Aaron: I'm glad it's over.
Danny: But we have a big surprise for you!
Aaron: like what, another water balloon ?
Danny: No, you can sit next to Kimmy in the bus.
Kimmy + Aaron: Uhw!
Denise: We have to do this again.
Danny: but next time you can go with your own teachers.
Denise: but I thought hanging out with Joey and you was fun Mr. Tanner.
Danny: Are you sure ?
Michelle: yeah, I feel the same way. You really did a great job dad.
Danny: Oh Honey. Thank you.
Joey: (Pretends that he's crying) Oh how beautiful, I just can't take anymore.
Kimmy: Hey you lazy turtles. Are you coming or what ? We wanna leave.
Michelle: That was the only bad thing that happened this week.
They walk to the bus and get in. Then they drive away...
Later, at the Tanner house...
Michelle: Were home!
DJ: Hi guys, did you have a nice time ?
Kimmy: We sure did. But they didn't like all of the games I made up for them.
Danny: Kimmy, what were you thinking ? Did you really believe that every kid likes to play
'smell who's sock I'm holding up' ?
Kimmy: Hey, we play it every time when my dad can't get sleep at home.
Michelle: With your socks he will be sleeping like an angel.
Kimmy: But why did nobody guess when I was holding my socks up ?
Joey: Because we all ran outside for some fresh air.
Stephanie: You were lucky that there was no pollution control around.
DJ: But Kimmy, I think it's a cruel game.
Michelle: And then there was that game Joey made up. That was fun!
Joey: Yeah. 'Guess which Looney Tune I'm imitating.'
Michelle: And the campfire. We even made marshmallows over the fire.
Stephanie: The water is getting into my mouth! Why wasn't I there ?
DJ: Because you were her.
Stephanie: Clever thinking!
DJ: Steph, I hope you're not serious ?
Stephanie: No I'm not. Are you ?
Joey: Well, I think I'm gonna loot the refrigerator.
DJ: Success! I just did that.
Stephanie: And when she was finished, Steve ate the rest.
Michelle: You know, I really had fun at the camp, but I'm also glad to be home again.
Danny: Me too. No more Aaron around me all day.
Then Aaron walks in...
Aaron: Hey you mister!
Danny: Are you talking to me ?
Aaron: Yes. My parents are not at home. Can I wait for them here ?
Danny: Only because I don't want your parents to get mad at me.
Aaron walks outside and comes back with his luggage...
Aaron: Well, I hope we can live till next Wednesday. Then they'll be back from holiday.
Danny + Joey + Michelle: Oh no!
Danny: What did I do ?
Michelle: A very stupid thing!
Aaron: Gotcha! Well, I paid you back for those jokes at the camp... hahaha. Well, my father is
waiting for me...
Danny: But Aaron, we don't let you go now.
Michelle: No. Now you have to stay here. And we will entertain you.
Aaron: Noooo! (He runs out of the house)
Stephanie: Good strike Michelle. I notice you've been paying attention to what I taught you.
Danny closes the door, the others talk...
-------------------------------------------------------------------End Tune ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Full House - The new stories
When Michelle has a camp from school, one of the leaders gets sick, Danny volunteers to go with them, but at the camp there's an unexpected (bad) surprise. Jesse wants to start the redecoration of the Smash Club...