Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 10
Episode (27) 219 - Two Weddings And A Broken Heart (1)
We find Jesse and the boys at the attic...
Jesse: Okay boys. Let's see how much money you guys saved in your money box.
Jesse takes the money box...
Nicky: Can we buy ice-cream from that money ?
Jesse: No, it's for a present for DJ's wedding.
Alex: We can buy her ice-cream.
Nicky: But we do have to eat it before it melts.
Jesse tries to open the moneybox, by pulling out the round lid at the bottom....
Alex: Daddy, did you get the lid out yet ?
Jesse takes a knife and puts it under the lid, but it still doesn't move.
Nicky: Can we watch the Flintstones with Joey ?
Alex: Yeah right!
Jesse tries the knife again, but it breaks and he puts the moneybox at the table....
Jesse: Boys, I hope you were not very attached to this box, I think I have to use the hammer.
Alex: No you don't.
Nicky: We can open it.
Alex takes the moneybox and in a few seconds he has the lid out...
Jesse: Huh ? What ? How did you do that ?
Nicky: Daddy, do we have enough for a big gift for DJ ?
Jesse: Well, let's see. You have... one dime and a chewed gum. Maybe you should draw her something.
---------------------------------------------------- INTRO ------------------------------------
We find Danny and Becky at the airport...
Danny: Where are they ? They should have been here five minutes ago.
Becky: Danny, planes get delayed sometimes ?
Becky: Don't worry, look at that screen. Their flight has a small delay.
Danny: You call that a small delay ? Becky, the plane is 30 minutes too late!
Becky: You want some coffee ?
Danny: No thanks, but if you see a broom or vacuum cleaner, this place is a mess, look at all the dust on the floor. I have to do something. Maybe they've got wax ?
Becky: Oh my god. Is there a doctor in the house ?
Danny: I don't need a doctor, just some stuff to clean this hall.
Becky: Danny, look./ The plane now is only 15 minutes late.
Danny: Wow, time really goes by fast when you're having fun.
Becky: I'm gonna get myself some coffee.
Becky walks away. Suddenly Danny feels an arm on his shoulder...
Danny: (Turns around) You really scared me, Joey. What are you doing here ?
Joey: Danny, you seem a little stressed. Does it have anything to do with DJ's wedding coming up tomorrow ?
Joey: Okay, Danny, calm down now. What I wanted to tell you is that there has been a little accident and the bride and groom from the cake are, well, how will I say this... eaten by Comet.
Danny: Oh no, and we even had to put them on the cake tomorrow what do we have to do now ?
Danny: You bought a new bride and groom ?
Danny: Joey, my daughter is no mutant. And speaking about her, where is she ?
Becky: Hey Joey, I thought you wanted to stay home.
Joey: I did. But there was something important I had to tell Danny. Well, I have to go now. See you later. (He walks away)
We find Stephanie and Michelle in the garage, where DJ and Steve live...
Michelle: Wow, this one time we can look around and go through all DJ's stuff without her sending us away.
Stephanie: One thing is for sure. Her wedding day will be the happiest day of my life.
Michelle: Because all the cake we can eat ?
Michelle: That would be the first place I would check.
Stephanie: Me too, but she always had some used smelly socks in it.
Stephanie: Too bad that she took her new diary with her.
Michelle: Why ?
Then Jesse walks down the stairs...
Jesse: Okay girls, are you ready yet ?
Jesse: We have to hurry. DJ's things have to be at Claire's house before Becky and DJ get there.
Michelle: Why is it that the bride and groom can't see each other 24 hours before the wedding ? Stephanie: That would bring bad luck.
Michelle: But they see each other now, and it's now one o'clock, that means...
Stephanie: 26 hours to go. In two hours, they would have bad luck.
Michelle: (Watching the door) Something isn't right here.
Jesse: What ?
Michelle: Well, usually when we say the words 'bad luck', Kimmy walks in. Now you said it twice, and she still isn't here.
Stephanie: Now you say it, you're right. I wonder where she is.
Jesse: That almost sounds like you miss her.
Stephanie: But uncle Jesse, I do miss Kimmy. I have nobody to make fun of now.
Jesse: Okay, let's get her things, we have to go now.
Stephanie: Okay, let's see. Her wedding dress is already there, so all we need to take with us are her shoes, some clothes for the night, and a toothbrush.
Michelle: Maybe we should also take some underwear for her.
Stephanie: Goo idea.
We find Danny and Becky still at the airport, when DJ and Steve walk towards them...
Danny: there they are! There they are! There they are! There they...
Becky: Danny, please be quiet.
Danny: Hi kids. How was your holiday ?
Becky: Well, I guess you wouldn't have stayed eight weeks longer than you wanted to be there in the first place if you didn't like it.
DJ: Well, it was worth it. We also went to New York, to visit Steve's aunt Mary.
Steve: We invited here, but she can't be here on time.
Danny: Why not ?
Becky: That would be a long trip.
DJ: Dad, first of all, I want to thank you for taking care of everything.
Danny: hey, you wanted me to arrange everything, so I did.
Becky: With some help from me.
DJ: I can't wait to sleep in my own bed.
Becky: I hope you are patient.
DJ: Why ?
DJ: Why ?
Danny: (Looking around) This isn't right. You said 'bad luck' and I don't see Kimmy anywhere.
Becky: You're right.
DJ: Strange. I expected her to be here when we arrived. But maybe the big thing she had planned has something to do with this.
Danny: What big thing ?
DJ: I called her last week and she said she has a big surprise for us.
Becky: We'll know it tomorrow. Come with me, we have arranged a bed somewhere else for you.
Steve: By Deej, I'll see you tomorrow.
Danny and Steve walk one way, Becky and DJ the other way...
Becky: Hey Danny!
Danny: Yes ?
Later, we find DJ, Stephanie, Michelle and Becky at Claire's house...
Claire T.: Are you ready for your big day tomorrow ?
Becky: It has really grown.
Michelle: That's something we can obviously see.
Becky and Stephanie look at Michelle with a sever look in their eyes...
Michelle: What ?
Becky: This will be fun. Just girls together for a whole night!
Then Mark walks in...
Mark: Hi Deej, how was your holiday ?
Michelle: Girls only ?
Stephanie: Yes Michelle, we will kick Mark out of the house.
Mark: Why ? I don't wanna miss any parties.
Claire T.: You silly boy! You know what the deal is.
Mark: I thought I had to do the stripping part.
Becky: No, Mark. There won't be a stripper here.
Mark: Then I'll go to uncle Danny's house. I know there will be one over there.
Becky: I think I maybe go home after all.
Mark: Just kidding. Uncle Danny forbid us to arrange something like that.
DJ: And where will you sleep tonight ?
Stephanie: How cozy, together with Steve in one bed.
Mark: Hey, I didn't think about that . How comfortable is your couch ?
We find the guys at the Tanner house...
Jesse: Hey, Stevo! Back from the far east ?
Danny: But you can't, because you're going to marry tomorrow.
Steve: I am ? (He looks at the scared face of Danny) Just kidding.
Joey: Are you ready for your bachelors' night ?
Steve: Hey, as long as there is food.
Jesse: Steve, it is your bachelors' party. So we bought everything we could find in the supermarket.
Steve: That sounds good. Can we start now ?
Jesse: Steve, the party is tonight, not now.
Then the doorbell rings...
Danny: Gee, who could that be ? (He opens the door)
Steve: Mom, dad!
Bob: Hello son. How are you doing ?
Steve: Great! I thought you would come tomorrow morning.
Paula: We couldn't wait. So we came one day earlier.
Steve: Come in.
Danny: Do you want to drink anything ?
Bob: And for me a coffee ?
Danny: One tea, one coffee.
Joey; And I would like to have a hot chocolate with whipped cream and sprinkles on top.
Then Nicky and Alex walk into the living room from the kitchen...
Nicky: We heard you Joey.
Alex: We'd like to have the same, uncle Danny.
Danny: Well, if you two gentlemen could assist me please ?
Nicky + Alex: Yeah!
Danny and the twins walk into the kitchen...
Steve: So, where are you staying tonight ?
Steve: Why do all male and female have to be separated ?
Steve: But why aren't we somewhere else ?
Bob: What did you play ?
Joey: Twister. The looser had to stay here.
The next morning, at the Tanner house...
Danny: Wake up, Steve! It's your big day now!
Steve: Huh ? Deej, is it me or did your voice change ? You know, you're going to sound like your dad more and more.
Danny: And is that a good or a bad thing ?
Steve: (He jumps out of his bed) Hi dad.... Mr. Tanner.
Danny: Before you get dressed, we prepared a breakfast for you.
Steve: With pancakes ?
Danny: Of course.
They walk up the stairs into the kitchen, where Joey is baking eggs...
Joey: Good morning, party boy. How do you like your eggs ?
Then Mark walks into the kitchen from the living room, together with Bob...
Mark: (Yawns) Man, what did I sleep bad last night. I have been awake for about half the night.
Bob: No, no, no. How would you explain the fact that I was awake from your snoring all night ?
Bob: No, no, no, I do not snore.
Mark: Me neither.
Joey: Well, some one did. When I went to the toilet last night it sounded like somebody was sawing some trees in the living room.
Then Jesse walks into the kitchen from the living room...
Jesse: Good morning all. Man, what did I sleep good last night. I was so tired after the party, that I didn't even make my own bed. I fell a sleep somewhere half way the stairs.
Mark: is there any chance that you were dreaming you were a lumberjack, riding his Harley ?
At Claire's house, we find Stephanie and Michelle at the breakfast table...
Michelle: Did you wake DJ yet ?
Michelle: But she's still sleeping.
Stephanie: Well, grandma would wake aunt Becky up, and Steve's mother would wake grandma up.
Michelle: And who has to wake her up ?
Michelle: But you are awake.
Stephanie: So you think. But actually I'm just talking in my sleep.
Then Becky walks into the kitchen...
Becky: Good morning girls.
Michelle: Did you wake DJ yet ?
Michelle: Why did you do that ?
Stephanie: Like a last bachelor's prank ?
Michelle: Hey, that's my line.
Then DJ runs into the kitchen...
DJ: Oh my god, I'm too late. The wedding already started. And I'm not even dressed up. Please help me, I have to get dressed as soon as possible. (She takes Becky's arm and pulls her up).
Becky: Calm down, Deej.
DJ: Calm down ? I'm too late for my own wedding!
Stephanie: DJ, did you have a look at the kitchen clock ?
DJ: Huh ? My watch says it's five hours later than the kitchen clock.
Becky: Gee, how could that have happened ?
Becky: Okay, you got me, but you had to see your face. I think this prank worked out pretty good. Here, have some toast, we will get you ready after breakfast.
At the Tanner house, we find Jesse and the twins at the attic...
Nicky: Daddy, do we really have to wear a tuxedo ?
Alex: We want to wear jeans and a t shirt.
Jesse: Boys, it's a wedding. All men are wearing tuxedo's, and they all love it.
Then Mark walks up the stairs, wearing a tuxedo...
Mark: My god. Can't we change the dress code to jeans and a t-shirt ? I fell like a monkey in this clowns suit.
Nicky and Alex look at Jesse..
Jesse: Well, uhm, almost every man.
Mark: How do these weird buttons at the sleeves work ?
Jesse: Those buttons are called 'cuffs'.
Mark: That sounds like something people with angina wear.
Jesse: here, let me show you how they work.
Alex: Daddy, can you dress us too ?
Nicky: We think that's easy for us.
Jesse: (Looking at Mark's shoes) Mark, did you ever have to wear a tuxedo ?
Jesse: And do you want to wear those shoes all day long ?
Jesse: But I don't think gray Nike's look good under a tuxedo.
Mark: They are not gray, they are white. Or at least they were.
Jesse: You can borrow a pair of my shoes.
Mark: No thank you.
Jesse: Why not ?
Mark: My feet are twice as big as yours. I'll check if uncle Danny has some shoes left. He has the same profit that I have.
Jesse: And that would be ?
Some later, we find DJ, Stephanie, Michelle and Becky driving to the church...
DJ: Will we make it on time ?
DJ: Okay. I am relaxed. Nothing can go wrong. This will be the best day of my life.
Michelle: Mine too. Except for the first day Titanic wasn't shown in cinema's anymore.
Stephanie: I have to agree with you, Michelle.
Becky: Oh no.
DJ: What ?
Stephanie: That sounds bad.
DJ: Oh no, my wedding has been ruined.
Michelle: What's wrong ?
Becky: Well, I was so busy with all the preparing stuff for the wedding, that I simply forgot to refuel the car.
Michelle: And now there's no fuel left ?
Becky: I'm afraid so.
DJ: Great! Now we can walk.
Michelle: Don' worry. The car was going 50 kilometers per hour, walking we will go about five kilometers per hour. That means we will go ten times slower than driving, and in stead of 30 minutes, it will take us five hours to get there.
DJ: Oh my god. We will be too late.
Stephanie: Not necessarily. I can call Gia, maybe she can pick us up with her mom's car.
DJ: Could you do that, please ?
Stephanie: I can try. (She takes her mobile phone and calls) Gia ? Hi, it's me. Can you help us ?
A little later, we find Gia stopping her mother's car next to the girls...
Gia: Your cab has arrived.
DJ: Gia, you are a life saver. I owe you one.
Becky: Do you mind if I drive ? I want to speed it up.
Gia: Hey, do I look like somebody who is loyal to the speed limits ?
Gia: I know how fast this car can go, and I know....
DJ: I don't care, just hit the gas Gia.
Gia pulls up, the car disappears in a dust cloud...
Gia: Fast enough ?
DJ: I think it's a little too fast.
Michelle: dad said it's illegal to pass the speed limits.
Gia: I know. That's why I enjoy this moment.
DJ: Gia, please take it a little slower.
Gia slows down a little..
DJ: Thanks. I don't want the baby to get afraid of roller coasters when it isn't even born yet.
Stephanie: Well, if you keep seeing Kimmy often, don't read the child too much horror stories. The baby will already have nightmares.
Michelle: I know I still have.
We find the guys waiting outside the church...
Danny: I don't get it, they should have been here ten minutes ago.
Jesse: Don't worry, they probably went sky-diving and ended up somewhere in tomato country.
Joey: Jess, not everybody is that stupid.
Then the priest walks towards them...
Priest: (To Joey) Are you the father of the bride ?
Joey: part one or part two ?
Danny: No, I am.
Priest: I'm sorry, sir. But it seems we have a small problem.
Danny: Oh no, you rescheduled your Sunday mass to today ?
Priest: No. We have a second couple that gets married.
Jesse: What's so bad about that ?
Danny: What ?
Jesse: And who is this second couple ?
Priest: I think you will meet them soon.
Then Steve and Mark walk to the guys...
Steve: Are you serious ?
Steve: And what about ice and sugar ?
Mark: Maybe that even tastes better.
Steve: (To Danny) You know, Mark got some interesting tips. I'm glad he's my best man.
Mark: I'm just giving vent to my knowledge.
Danny: Uh, Steve. We have a problem.
Steve: I told you so, mark, we are out of milk.
Mark: There goes your wedding shake.
Jesse: No, Danny meant something else.
Steve: What ?
Steve: But I didn't propose to another couple.
Jesse: No, that other couple is getting married too.
Danny: So, I guess we will have two weddings at the same time.
Steve: And who are the second couple ?
Mark: You don't want to know. (He points to an old car, that stops a few meters away from them) I'm afraid that's part of the second couple.
Kimmy: (Getting out of the car in a orange wedding dress) Howdy Tannerito's.
Jesse: kimmy, what are you wearing ?
Kimmy: This is my wedding dress. Pretty cool huh ?
Danny: Did they give you sunglasses for the people who have to watch it ?
Kimmy: How nice of you all to come to my wedding.
Joey: Well, we came here for another wedding.
Kimmy: You mean DJ is having her wedding here, in the exact same church ?
Danny: At the exact same time.
Kimmy: I knew there was something when I get married, but I forgot what it was.
Mark: How can you forget your best friends wedding ?
Jesse: Hey, isn't that the car from Gia's mother ?
DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, Becky, Gia and Claire are getting out of the car...
Danny: I don't see her.
Becky: Hi guys.
Jesse: What happened to your car ?
Becky: Oh, it just ran out of gas.
DJ walks towards Kimmy...
Kimmy: Deej. You look beautiful. And guess what.
DJ: What ?
DJ: You mean, you and Duane ?
Kimmy: Yep. We didn't want to wait any longer.
DJ: You mean you didn't want to wait.
Then the priest calls everybody in...
Michelle: (While passing Mark) Mark, if I give you a banana, will you make a dog with a balloon for me ?
Mark: No, but I can always try to make animals from balloons for you. Why ?
Michelle: Nothing, it's just the way you look.
Mark: Next time I wear what I like.
Then they walk into church...
We find Danny waiting for DJ...
Danny: (Almost crying) Well, DJ. It's time to start.
DJ: Are you going to give me away ?
Danny: I'll try. You know, it's very hard for me to do. It feels like I'm losing my little girl.
DJ: But you're not. You're just getting a big eater in the family.
Danny: I know. And I really hope you'll be happy together. But it feels like loosing a part of me. Before today I could call you Tanner, after today you're a Hale.
DJ: dad, if it makes you happy, you can always call me 'Tanner', or little girl. Or baby.
Danny: Are you sure ? Because I will use that option a lot you know.
DJ: Aunt Becky is calling. Shall we start ?
Danny and DJ hug. Then they walk into the church, where Steve and Kimmy are waiting.. Danny and DJ walk in slowly...
Nicky: (While DJ passes him) Hi DJ.
Alex: Good luck.
Claire T.: You are so pretty, honey.
Danny and DJ arrive at the altar...
DJ: Dad, you can let go of me now.
Danny: Are you sure ?
DJ: Steve can only marry one of us.
Danny: (Letting go DJ's arm) That's true.
Priest: (To Kimmy and DJ) Who wants first ?
DJ: Uhm, Kimmy. You can't.
Kimmy: Why not ?
DJ: there's no groom for you.
Kimmy: Yeah, where is Duane ?
Kimmy: Duane, why didn't you get dressed for the wedding ?
Stephanie: (Whispering to Michelle) And why did he speak ?
Duane: (Walks to Kimmy and gives her a note) Whatever.
Duane walks away, out of the church...
Kimmy: (Reading the note) Oh no.
DJ: What's wrong ?
Kimmy: He writes he can't marry me. He has second thoughts. He will call me later.
DJ: Oh Kimmy, I'm so sorry for you.
Kimmy: (Almost crying) Excuse me.
Kimmy runs out of the church...
Priest: And do you still want to get married ?
DJ: No, first I have to go to Kimmy. I can't get married when she is feeling bad.
Stephanie: How rude!
Michelle: (Whispering to Stephanie) Does this mean we have to wait till we can eat the cake ?
Stephanie: (Whispering to Michelle) I'm afraid so.
Steve: But Deej...
DJ: I'm sorry Steve, I have to see Kimmy now.
DJ walks away...
Priest: Will there be a wedding or not ?
Danny: Please hold on, I'll go check on her.
Steve: Please hurry.
Danny walks out of church, where Kimmy and DJ also walked out...
Joey: (To Mark) I hope they get back soon. I believe there were a little too much peppers on my pizza last night. I start feeling a little gassy.
Mark: Tell me. My back is itching, but if I start scratching, Michelle will throw banana's at me.
Nicky: Mummy, will DJ get back ?
Alex: Or do we have to eat the pie without her ?
Becky: I don't know. I think she'll be back. Let's wait and we will see.
Jesse: (To Steve) Don't worry, Steve. I'm sure she'll be back on time.
Steve: I hope so. Or it would spoil our wedding day.
Steve and Jesse look at the door of the church, everybody's silent...
To be continued......
Full House - The new stories
DJ and Steve are getting married. The guys take Steve to the house, and the girls take DJ to Claire's house, the day before the wedding. When the big day has come, it turns out that there will be two weddings at the same time. The second couple is... well, just read...