Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 10
Episode (32) 224 - The Twins Strike Again
Jesse Katsopolis - Danny Tanner - Joey Gladstone - DJ Tanner-Hale - Stephanie Tanner - Michelle Tanner - Rebecca (Becky) Donaldson-Katsopolis - Nicky & Alex Katsopolis - Kimmy Gibbler - Steve Hale - Gia Mahan - Mark Tanner - Pam Hale (baby) - Comet (the dog)
We find Nicky and Alex in their bedroom...
Nicky: I'm thirsty.
Alex: What a coincidence, me too!
Jesse: (In the attic living room) Go sleep, boys!
Alex: Can we get some water ?
Jesse: Boys, you had water five minutes ago.
Nicky: But we are thirsty.
Jesse: Yes, and later you have to go to the toilet. Just go sleep now.
Alex: Daddy, we really want water.
Nicky: Please ?
Nicky: Please ?
Jesse: Boys, if I hear one more kick out of you tonight, I will come to you and punish you.
Nicky: Daddy ?
Jesse: Okay, now it's over. I'm coming to your room.
Alex: Can you please take two lasses with water with you for us ?
------------------------------------------ INTRO ------------------------------------------------
We find Joey at the breakfast table, with Michelle...
Joey: (With his arm in a pile of cereal) Where is it ?
Michelle: Joey, what are you doing ?
Joey: I'm trying to find the little animal.
Michelle: Joey, I thought you had your zoo complete since last week ?
Joey: No, I only need the gorilla.
Then Jesse walks down the stairs...
Jesse: Joey, we have spoons to stir your cereal and milk.
Joey: Jesse, I am a grown up man, I know that. (He gets something out of the pile) Oh no, it's the elephant, I already have that one. (Sad) I want the gorilla!
Jesse: I see, very grown-up.
Joey: Do you want some cereal ?
Jesse: No thanks, I'd rather stir with a spoon in stead of your hand.
Then Danny walks down the stairs...
Danny: Good morning, family! Isn't it a wonderful day ?
Danny: I know. But still, isn't it a wonderful day ? For me it is. Today we have a very special guest on the show.
Jesse: Seeing you so bright, I guess it's the man who invented the vacuum-cleaner.
Joey: No, he had that man last week.
Danny: Yeah, and it turned out he was an impostor. The man who invented it died years ago.
Michelle: Then who is it ?
Jesse: Elvis ?
Danny: No, the king of... Or was it prince ? No, maybe sir ?
Michelle: Dad, please.
Danny: Okay, today we will have Robin Williams in the show.
Joey: No, you're kidding. Can I come with you ? He's so good!
Danny: Okay, but please put on some clothes, it looks so silly when you walk in in your pyjamas. Oh, I'm so excited.
Jesse: We can see that. You have put on your trousers backwards.
Danny: I have ? How silly. That explains why I had troubles closing the zipper.
We find DJ and Steve coming home, when Stephanie is sitting in the living room...
DJ: Hi Steph, how did things go with Pam ?
Stephanie: She's sleeping like a little baby.
DJ: Good. Thanks for baby-sitting this morning.
Stephanie: No problem. I had nothing to do.
Steve: You won't believe what we saw today.
Stephanie: A giant hamburger ?
Steve: It was there yesterday ? I need to go out more. I'm starting to miss the good stuff.
DJ: You don't know how it feels to be able to buy clothes that are not the size of a giant curtain again.
Stephanie: (Smiling) And you don't know how it feels to have curtains again, since you had the baby.
DJ: (Laughing) Thanks Steph.
Then the baby starts crying....
DJ: I guess it's time to feed her.
Steve: (Looking at his watch) It's time to feed me too.
DJ: It's always time to feed you, so it has no use looking at your watch.
DJ and Steve walk into the kitchen...
DJ: I'm gonna get the baby, can you warm her bottle ?
DJ walks down to their bedroom in the garage, to get the baby...
Steve: okay, warm the bottle. Let's see. Bottle... check. Milk...(Drinking from the carton) check. Now how to warm it ?
Then Kimmy walks in...
Kimmy: Hey Stevo, where's Deej ?
Steve: She's coming in a moment. Do you know how to warm a bottle ?
Steve: Good thinking. (He fills the bottle with milk and puts it in the microwave) So, now we have to wait.
Then DJ walks up into the kitchen, holding Pam...
DJ: (To the baby) Are you thirsty ? yes you are, aren't you honey ? (To Kimmy) Hi Kimmy.
Kimmy: Hey Deej, are you doing anything tonight ?
Kimmy: Too bad, there's a girls only night at the cinema's.
Steve: You know Deej, if you want to go, I can take care of Pam.
DJ: Are you sure ?
Steve: Sure, I have everything under control.
Then they hear glass rattling...
DJ: What was that ? It came from the microwave.
Steve: (Opening the microwave) oops, I guess five minutes was too long for the bottle to
DJ: Everything under control, huh ? Steve, we have a baby-bottle-warmer too warm up the bottle. I'm glad we have a second one.
That afternoon at the school from the twins, we find Jesse waiting at the sports field, where the boys are playing baseball...
Nicky: Come on, Alex, run! Run!
Alex: (Running over the last base) I did it! Homerun!
Jesse: (Applauding) Great strike, boy!
Coach: Okay, class. Game over, you can go home now.
The twins run to Jesse..
Alex: Daddy, we have won. I stroke 2 homeruns!
Nicky: And I made 3!
The coach walks towards them...
Coach: Are these your sons ?
Jesse: Yes, why ? Did they do something wrong ?
Coach: Oh no, at the contrary. Do you know they are very talented ?
Coach: No, they can be great baseball players.
Jesse: You must be kidding.
Coach: No, serious. If they would practice every day, I see a bright future for them. They might even get it to the national team.
Jesse: Have mercy! The national team ?
Coach: Yes. You know what ? Next week some scouts from big clubs are here to select boys for their youth selection. Why don't you let the boys go there, so they can show their talents to the big chiefs ?
Jesse: Maybe I will. What do you say of that, boys ? You can be great baseball players.
Alex: Double cool!
Jesse: Coach, have you any advise what the boys should do ?
Jesse: Thanks. Come boys, let's go home.
At the Tanner house, we find Stephanie and Michelle playing chess, as Danny, Joey and Becky walk in...
Danny: Hi girls.
Stephanie: Hi dad. How was the show ?
Danny: Great. Hey, I didn't know the two of you could play chess, who's winning ?
Michelle: No one, we both can't play chess, so we are still wondering what our first move will be. Everything we want to do turns out to be illegal according to the great book of chess.
Danny: I didn't know you had that book.
Stephanie: We don't. But it's on the internet, so we are checking it every five minutes.
Becky: And how long have you been playing ?
Michelle: Let's see. We both had five illegal moves, had to think about them ten minutes, looking them up for three minutes... about 80 minutes.
Stephanie: But tell us about your show.
Becky: Why should we talk about it ? We have it on tape right here. Is everybody at home ?
Danny: They can see it later.
Danny puts the tape in the VCR...
Joey: I even got his autograph, on my hand.
Stephanie: Joey, I hope you don't want to keep the autograph.
Joey: In fact, I do want to keep it.
Stephanie: But are you aware of the fact that the next time you wash your hand the autograph
will be gone ?
On the tape...
Danny: I'm Danny Tanner.
Becky: And I'm Rebecca Donaldson.
Danny: And I'm saying
Danny + Becky: Good morning, San Francisco. (Looking at each other) I was gonna say that
Becky: Today we have a very special guest. I think you all know him. Here he is, Robin Williams!
Robin Williams walks in and sits down...
Danny: Hello, Mr. Williams.
Robin Williams: Robin.
Danny: No, I'm Danny. Danny Tann... Oh, you mean I can call you... sorry.
Becky: Well, Robin, thanks for coming to our show.
Robin Williams: No thanks. I watch your show every day.
Danny: You do ?
Robin Williams: No, but I thought it would be nice to say.
Becky: Let's start with the first question.
Robin Williams: Okay. I've got one. Do you have recipes for egg rolls ? I try to make them for my wife, but they never become the way I want them too.
Danny: You could order them at the Chinese ?
Becky: Well, don't look at me. Last week I tried to make a meatloaf, but it looked more like... nothing.
Danny: Before you have to go, could you please do us one favor ?
Robin Williams: Who is this man ?
Joey: I'm Joey Gladstone, and I would die for your autograph.
Danny: Joey, we can do that later. We don't have much time left. Robin, could you please say 'Good morning Vietnam' for all the viewers ?
Robin Williams: Sure. Good morning Vietnam! For all the viewers.
Danny: Thanks you so much, that was beautiful.
In the living room of the Tanner house...
Stephanie: Great show!
Then Kimmy walks in from the kitchen...
Kimmy: hey, were you watching 'Wake Up San Francisco' ? How could that happen ? T-bone and Mrs. Hair-dude are both here, and they were at television. Modern technique can do everything.
Stephanie: Kimmy, that 'modern technique' of you is just called a VCR.
Then Jesse and the twins walk in...
Jesse: Guys, I've got great news!
Becky: Jess, you didn't buy that guitar Elvis signed, did you ?
Jesse: No, not yet. Hear this, Nicky and Alex are talented.
Kimmy: They said I was talented once.
Michelle: In what, being dumb ?
Stephanie: If there was a world cup in that, Kimmy would be number 1.
Kimmy: In knew I must be good in something. (She walks away through the front door)
Becky: What kind of talents do they have ?
Jesse: Their coach said they can become very good baseball players.
Becky: How nice.
Jesse: he even told that they might get to the national team.
Stephanie: The national team ?
Jesse: Yes. And you know what ? Next week they can show their talents to scouts from
professional baseball teams.
Nicky: Daddy wants us to be there.
Alex: he even wants to train us.
Joey: (Laughing) Jesse wants to train them ? Jess, what do you know about baseball ?
Jesse: Well, I know that they use a baseball stick and a ball.
Danny: You mean a baseball bat and a ball.
Stephanie: I played baseball when I was young, need some help with the training ?
Becky: Oh yeah ?
Becky: Jess, honey. Please don't do this by yourself. You need help.
Jesse: I do ? Steph, are you available ?
We find Jesse, Stephanie and the twins at a playground...
Jesse: Okay boys, we couldn't practice at the baseball field, so we're practicing here.
Nicky: Can we play now ?
Jesse: No boys, first we're gonna start with a nice warming up. Stephanie, please go ahead.
Stephanie: Okay boys, we will start with a run around the field.
Alex: What field ?
Stephanie: Well, let's say.. uhm.. around the playground.
Alex: But there are bushes around it.
Nicky: This playground is in the park, remember.
Stephanie: Well, then let's say the field is around the swing, through the sand box, over the seesaw, around the benches and back.
Jesse: Stephanie, they are playing baseball, not running a horse-show.
Stephanie: We need to get all the muscles warm.
The boys start running....
Jesse: (Running behind the boys) And what comes after this ?
Stephanie: (Also running) Another round around the field.
Jesse: And after that ?
Stephanie: Another round.
Jesse: And when are their muscles warm ?
Stephanie: I think after 3 rounds. I think you need a break if you keep running all those rounds.
Jesse: Good idea, I could use a break right now.
Nicky: You need a break already ?
Alex: You're getting old.
Jesse: Hey, be careful what you say boys.
Alex: (Smiling) Typical, he denies his age.
Nicky: (Also smiling) Yeah, like all old people do.
Jesse: Okay, that means two extra rounds around the field.
Alex: We were just joking.
Nicky: We're sorry.
Stephanie: (To Jesse) Here, drink some water.
Jesse: (Gasping for breath) Thanks.
We find DJ and Steve in the kitchen...
DJ: Finally, Pam is sleeping again.
Steve: can you believe what she ate ?
DJ: I can if I think of who the father is.
Steve: We've been feeding her six times today already.
DJ: Maybe we should ignore her crying for food next time.
Steve: It's better we don't.
DJ: Why not ?
DJ: Thanks for the warning.
Then Mark walks in through the kitchen door...
Mark: Hi guys, what's up ?
DJ: We are feeding the baby all day.
Mark: She keeps asking for more ?
Mark: Then why don't you give her something that takes a little more time to digest ?
DJ: Hey, that is no bad idea you know.
Mark: I know. But this made me forget what I came for in the first place.
DJ: Well, like usually, you will be here for Steph or Michelle ?
Mark: No, in fact I was here for uncle Danny. Is he at home ?
DJ: Yes he is, he is disinfecting the vacuum cleaner in the living room.
Mark walks into the living room...
Mark: Hi uncle Danny.
Danny: Hi Mark.
Mark: I saw your show this morning...
Danny: You watch my show ?
Mark: Of course I do. It's very good to wake up.
Danny: Thanks. You really like it ?
Danny: Mark, why don't I believe that ?
Danny: (Laughing) No. But I don't have his phone number.
Mark: Too bad. I was hoping for his autograph.
Danny: Ask Joey, he has one on his hand.
Mark: On his hand ? I hope he didn't wash that yet.
That night we find Danny and Michelle in the living room, when Joey and mark walk in...
Danny: (Looking at Joey's hand) Joey, you destroyed the autograph. You washed it away.
Joey: Yes, but I still have it.
Michelle: You do ?
Joey: Yes, thanks to Mark.
Michelle: How did you do that ?
Mark: Well, it was quite easy. I took some ink and a pencil, made the lines of the autograph wet with fresh ink, Joey put his hand on a sheet of paper, and voila, the autograph was copied.
Michelle: You only forgot one thing.
Joey: What ?
Michelle: You now have the autograph in a mirror image.
Joey: What ? Oh no. Thanks a lot, Mark.
Mark: Well, if you hold it in front of a mirror you see it the right way.
We find Becky at the attic, as Jesse and the twins come home...
Becky: Well, you were out for a long time.
Jesse: I took the boys shopping after the training.
Nicky: We got a new baseball bat.
Alex: And a new glove.
Nicky: Can we play now ?
Jesse: Yes, but only in Joey's room. He won't notice the difference if you mess it up.
Becky: Boys, there will be no playing in the house. I saved you some dinner.
Nicky: What are we eating ?
Jesse: Boys, you have to keep in shape, that means lots of vegetables, and no desert.
Nicky: Lots of vegetables ? Do you want to kill us ?
Jesse: Now boys, it's for your own good.
Becky: Oh, Jesse, one desert can't hurt. I mean, if they can't have one, you have to give the right example, after all you're their coach.
Jesse: And what do you mean by that example ?
Becky: That you can't have a desert too.
Jesse: Okay, maybe a little one ? But you're gonna sleep early, boys. You will need much energy the next couple of days.
In the alcove in the living room, we find Joey, Michelle and Mark...
Mark: Okay Joey. Let's see what we can do with the autograph.
Joey: Are you sure this will work out ?
Mark: A picture editor ?
Joey: Should I call the Disney studios ?
Michelle: Duh! He means a computer program.
Mark: Let's see. It's scanning...
Joey: Is that a good thing ?
Mark: Yes it is. Look, here it is at the screen.
Joey: But it's still a mirror image.
Mark: Well, that problem will be solved in a moment. Okay, ready.
Joey: (Amazed) How did you do that ?
Joey: Can you repeat that ?
Michelle: (Getting a sheet of paper from the printer) Look, here's your autograph.
Joey: But this isn't real anymore.
Mark: Oh my god. Does that mind ? You have an autograph.
Joey: That's true.
We find Jesse, Stephanie and the twins at a grass field...
Stephanie: Okay boys, let's play ball!
Stephanie throws a ball towards Alex, who hits it with the bat...
Jesse: Al right!
Nicky: Where did that ball go ?
Stephanie: I don't know, I watched it, and suddenly it was gone when it was at the horizon.
Jesse: (He throws another ball) Another ball, another strike!
In the background, the song 'My Favorite Game' from the Cardigans starts playing, while we see shots of the twins...
Stephanie throws a ball towards Nicky, and he hits, we see Alex strike a ball, Nicky catching one, Jesse coaching the boys, Nicky striking a home-run, and after that cheering, while he falls down on his knees, Alex throwing a ball towards Stephanie, who shows how they can hit best, the twins doing a high-five, Nicky and Alex throwing a ball over, while Jesse tries to catch it, the twins running over the field, Alex pitching and Nicky hitting the ball, Nicky pitching, and Alex striking the ball, Nicky as catcher, behind Stephanie, catching the ball...
The music stops playing...
At another morning, we find Jesse walking down the stairs into the kitchen, where Stephanie, DJ, and Becky are having breakfast...
Jesse: Good morning. Today is the big day.
Becky: Are you sure you want to go through with it, honey ?
Jesse: Absolutely. We came this far, what can go wrong ?
Jesse: Good morning, boys. Are you ready ?
Nicky: We don't like the game anymore.
Jesse: Huh ? What's wrong ?
Jesse: But boys, this might be your chance to go to a big club.
Alex: The game used to be fun without the pressure.
The twins walk back up the stairs...
Becky: You heard them, Jess. Do you still want to go ?
Jesse: We even entered them yesterday to the competitor's list, and we paid for it.
Becky: I know, but Jesse, you have been practicing with the boys all week. When they had one spare moment, you took them out to play. You adjusted their food. They had to eat vegetables, something they don't like, and you cut their sweets.
Jesse: But it was for their own good.
Becky: Jesse, they are just boys. They are seven years old, there will be more times for them to show the scouts how good they are. Is it really worth taking their youth from them ?
Jesse: How do you mean 'taking their youth from them' ?
Becky: Jesse, don't you see ? The boys will have to go to trainings at least three times a week, they have to play in the weekends. And what about their friends, they won't have time for them anymore.
Jesse: I know. Maybe I was in it a little too much. I will ask them what they want, and if they don't want to go, then so be it.
Jesse walks up the stairs...
Stephanie: Aunt Becky. Can I say something about this ?
Stephanie: If they don't go, maybe you could sign them up for a local fun baseball team, with a league where they can play other teams, but for fun, and yes, of course it's about winning, but there won't be high expectations of them.
Becky: You know, that sounds like a very good idea.
We find Jesse at the attic with the twins...
Jesse: Boys, why did you walk away ?
Nicky: We don't know.
Alex: Maybe the nerves broke us up.
Jesse: Boys, if you don't want, you don't have to.
Alex: But we do want to go.
Nicky: We only got a little scared at the idea we might be scouted today.
Jesse: But boys, you will be scouted today.
Nicky: And what if we fail ?
Alex: Then you will be mad at us.
Jesse: No I won't. Boys, I know I spend a lot of time training you lately, but if you are not as good as the scouts want you to be, I can live with that.
Alex: Just like you can live with the fact that you might get old ?
Nicky: So you can also live with the fact that Elvis died years ago ?
Jesse: (Sad) Oh no, not that example. You know I don't want to be remembered to that.
Alex: Shall we go, daddy ?
Nicky: We have to be there in half an hour.
Jesse: Okay boys, let's go!
We find Jesse, Stephanie and Becky at the baseball field...
Jesse: Look the boys playing, aren't they great ?
Stephanie: They had a good coach.
Jesse: yeah, I know I'm good.
Stephanie: I meant me. I did most of the work.
Then Gia walks towards Stephanie...
Stephanie: Gia, I thought you were sick ?
Stephanie: Gia, the average age of these baseball-players is 6 to twelve.
Gia: Oh man. What am I doing here ? I belong home, in my bed, I'm sick. (She walks away)
The twins walk towards Jesse, Stephanie and Becky...
Nicky: We are done.
Alex: We hope you enjoyed our show.
Becky: We sure did, boys.
Alex: Then can we go home now ? We want to play with our Nintendo.
Nicky: And we also like some cookies.
Then a man in a black suit walks towards them...
Scout: Hello, my name is Fred Prangel. I'm a scout from the San Francisco Giants and I saw some really good baseball playing by your sons. Very impressive.
Nicky: Daddy, who's this man ?
Jesse: He's a scout.
Scout: I think they can become very good, with the proper treatment.
Stephanie: You mean you're interested ?
Scout: Yes, in fact I am. You know, I think we could use them for our youth selection.
Jesse: Great! I mean, that's nice.
Scout: I have some forms with me, if you fill those in, they can come to our youth selection under 10 on trial for two months. And then we can see how they perform.
The twins have walked away and are playing with some other kids...
Becky: And if they come to you, what will happen to them then ?
Jesse: (Looking at the boys playing and having fun) You know, we appreciate your interest, but I think we'd rather wait.
Scout: (Surprised) Why ?
Jesse: Well, they are so young, they are only seven years old. They have plenty of time to decide to become professional baseball players.
Scout: Then why did you come here today ?
Scout: I see. But here's my card, if you might change your mind.
The scout walks away...
Becky: Jesse, what's this all about ?
Becky: I'm glad you now see that.
Jesse: Let them have fun while they still can. (He throws away the card) They are much too young at the moment.
Stephanie: (Picking up the card) Maybe he can use a good coach.
The twins walk towards Jesse, Stephanie and Becky...
Nicky: Where did that man go ?
Jesse: He's gone. You will have to wait till you're older.
Alex: But we like playing baseball.
Becky: We know, but next week you like playing soccer, or ballet.
Jesse: Ballet ? No way! Look boys, we will sign you up for a fun team, maybe the Tigers, or the Pigeons..
Stephanie: You mean the Eagles.
Jesse: Whatever. But all that counts is that you have fun playing the game, not that you become what the big men in the sport want you to do.
Nicky: We understand.
Alex: And we are happy. We had a lot of fun today. I stroke three home-runs.
Stephanie: We saw that. You know, you have a fabulous back-hand swing.
Becky: Come, let's eat ice-cream.
Nicky + Alex: All right!
Jesse: Steph, could you please give me the card back ? I might change my mind...
Becky: Oh no, please don't do that Stephanie.
Stephanie: Don't worry. I will tear the card in pieces. (She tears the card)
Becky: Good work. Now nobody will call that number.
Stephanie: Oh no, that includes me. There goes my bright coaching career.
They all walk away, the twins are jumping up and down while they are walking...
Full House - The new stories
The twins turn out to have talents to become good baseball players. Jesse immediately starts training the boys because there will be a scouting day soon. Stephanie helps Jesse out with his trainings. Joey is having another problem. He got an autograph from Robin Williams, who was on Danny and Becky's show, but it's on his hand, and how can he wash his hands without loosing it ?