Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 10
Episode (34) 226 - All The Girls I Loved Beforee
Jesse Katsopolis - Danny Tanner - Joey Gladstone - DJ Tanner-Hale - Stephanie Tanner - Michelle Tanner - Rebecca (Becky) Donaldson-Katsopolis - Nicky & Alex Katsopolis - Kimmy Gibbler - Steve Hale - Gia Mahan - Mark Tanner - Pam Hale (baby) - Comet (the dog)
We find Jesse and Joey up the attic...
Jesse: Okay, are you ready for the final rehearsal ?
Jesse: Okay, this jingle is so cool. And it's fun to do again.
Danny walks up the stairs...
Danny: Hi guys, what are you doing ?
Jesse: rehearsing our latest jingle.
Danny: Well, I can't wait to hear it.
Jesse: Okay, here we go. (He starts playing the guitar) Okay Joseph, sing it!
Jesse: Joey, sing it huh.
Joey: I can't, I forgot the words.
Jesse: You forgot the words ?
Joey: Uh, yes.
Jesse: How can you forget the words ? It's so easy. La la la, Humphreys has the best carpets of California.
Jesse starts playing the guitar again...
Joey: Oh wait, Jess.
Jesse: What now ?
Joey: Exactly how many la's are in the lyrics ?
Jesse starts playing again..
Joey: One more moment please.
Jesse: Three la's. Is that so hard to remember ?
Jesse: I give up.
Jesse shakes his head and walks around, Danny laughs...
------------------------------------------ INTRO ------------------------------------------------
We find Stephanie and Joey in the living room as Danny walks in..
Danny: How do I look ?
Danny: I am going on a date, so that's al right.
Joey: (Walking to Danny and puts his arm around his neck, talking with a rough voice) Danny, my son, listen. You have a very easy task. I'll make it clear to you one more time. To impress the female subject, you have to eat with knife and fork. And don't forget, never, I repeat never, burp while you're having dinner with the lady.
Danny: (Laughing) Thank you, Godfather.
The doorbell rings...
Danny: (Opening the door) Hi Claire.
Claire: Hi Danny.
Gia walks in...
Claire: And you behave here, right ?
Gia: (Angrily) Yes, mother. I will be a good girl tonight.
Claire: Okay then. See you later.
Danny and Claire leave the house...
Stephanie: (To Gia) Troubles ?
Stephanie: What did you do ?
Stephanie: How much did you exceed the limit ?
Stephanie: 45 ?
Gia: No, 45. That's 8 times 6.
Stephanie: I hope you're not serious with that last calculation Gia.
Gia: I was.
Stephanie: Well, see it from the bright side. There are other things you can do better than Kimmy Gibbler.
Gia: (Smiling) Who can't ? That's not hard to do.
They sit down at the couch and turn on the TV.
Joey: Oh great, the Jetsons. I love them.
Gia: Is there nothing more mature on television ?
Gia: Uhw. You mean those stupid airhead toddlers with no life ? They can't even stay dead. Look at that Kenny guy, how many lives does he have ?
Stephanie: Too many.
Gia: Watching that show is like suffering from cavities. I'd rather eat dirt than watching that.
Stephanie: So we watch the Jetsons ?
We find Danny and Claire in a restaurant...
Danny: Finally, we are alone.
Claire: I'm glad you asked me.
Danny: Me too. (He looks at the tablecloth) Claire, this might sound a little odd. But I want to ask you something.
Claire: (Smiling) What ?
Danny: Is there any chance you brought your flat-iron with you ?
Claire: (Disappointed) No. Why did you ask me ?
Claire: Shall we ask for another one ?
Waiter: Good evening. Can I bring you something ?
Danny: Good point, me too. (To the waiter) We would like to see the menu please.
Waiter: Okay. (He takes the menu and shows it to Danny and Claire) Look very carefully, this is the menu. This is what it looks like from the outside. (He opens it) And this from the inside. We have different pages. (Looking at the annoyed faces of Danny and Claire) Here you are. That was just a waiter joke. You got it ? You want to see the menu, I show it. You're not laughing ? You're right, it was not funny.
Danny: Can we get something to drink ?
Waiter: of course, can I suggest our Chateau du Champignon 1957 ?
Claire: No thanks, I would like a soda.
Waiter: And you sir, a glass of milk perhaps ?
Danny: No. Another waiter.
Waiter: Sorry, but we don't serve waiters here. We are already suffering from a labor shortage. But I can prefer the chef.
Danny: (Standing up) Come Claire, let's go to a more sophisticated place. Like the Burger King or the Mac. Donald's.
Claire: Good idea.
They leave the restaurant...
We find Jesse, Becky and the twins at the attic, when Michelle runs upstairs...
Jesse: What's wrong?
Michelle: People coming up.
Nick and Irene walk up the stairs, and Michelle walks down...
Jesse: Mom, dad, what brings you here ?
Irene: We were in the neighborhood and we thought it would be fun to pay you a visit.
Nick: And she had to go to the bathroom.
Irene walks into the bathroom at the attic...
Becky: Do you want something to drink ?
Nick: What do you have ?
Becky: I will look downstairs.
Nick: You don't have to do any troubles.
Jesse: Yeah, I mean, my mother is only using the bathroom.
Nick: On the other hand, we have some time to kill while she's in the bathroom.
Becky: I'll get you some juice, is that al right ?
Nick: If it's really no trouble.
Becky: It isn't. We have some up stairs here.
She takes a bottle and some glasses and fills them...
Nicky: Grandpa, did you bring us presents ?
Nick: Not this time boys.
Alex: Too bad.
Jesse: More luck next time, boys.
Irene comes out of the bathroom...
Irene: (Looking at the twins) Jesse, your boys really need a haircut.
Jesse + Nick: (Frightened) A haircut ?
Jesse: I know, and I'm proud of it. Not all children are blessed with such great hair. Of course, I was, but they have it from me.
Nick: And you got it from me.
Jesse: You see.
Becky: You know, Jesse, I think your mother has a point.
Alex: daddy, do something.
Nicky: We don't want to have a haircut.
Jesse: Boys, I will protect your hair, even if it costs me my life.
Nick: Me too.
Irene: Don't you over react now ?
Becky: I'll call Jim tomorrow.
Jesse: Jim ? That guy who just finished the barber school ? No way.
Nick: Never use barbers that have no experience. Before you know their hair is ruined.
Becky: Oh yeah ?
Becky: Give me one example.
Jesse: Kimmy Gibbler. Look what her bad haircut did to her. We don't want the boys to become male Kimmy's do we ?
Irene: I can do it. I used to cut Jesse's hair too when he was a little boy.
Becky: I thought you never had your hair cut when you were young.
Jesse: Not after my mother did it. I had to wear a cap for two years.
Irene: It was not that bad.
Nick: I think that pink bow looked good on your head.
Nick: Just teasing you. But now I think of it, maybe the boys should have a little cut. In spite of the great hair we gave them, they can get split ends.
Jesse: Ooh, I hate when that happens.
Alex: Oh oh.
Nicky: Daddy is allying with the enemies.
The twins run down the stairs...
We find Danny and Claire in another restaurant...
Claire: I hope this place has better personnel.
Danny: I'm happy my date is nice.
Claire: Nice ?
Danny: Okay, adorable.
Claire: That's better.
Waitress: Hello, can I bring you the menu ?
Danny: Yes please.
Waitress: And do you like something to drink ?
Waitress: Okay, I'm right back. (She walks away)
Danny: Now this is a nice service.
Claire: I've never been to this place before.
Danny: Me neither. But it was opened last week.
Claire: That explains.
Waitress: here are your drinks, the menu. I'll be back in a moment.
Danny: (Looking at the menu) Let's see. Ooh, this sounds nice.
Claire: What ?
Danny: Chicken noodle.... Vicky ?
Danny: At the door. (He waves)
Claire: What's going on ?
Danny calls Vicky, who walks towards Danny and Claire..
Danny: What are you doing here ?
Vicky: I'm doing a special report for my show on restaurants allover the United States.
Danny: I'm so glad to see you again.
Vicky: Me too.
Danny: how are you doing, what happened to you in those 6 years ?
Claire: Hi, I'm Claire.
Vicky: Oh hi, I'm Vicky.
Claire: I heard.
Vicky: I hope Danny only told you good things about me.
Claire: You bet.
Danny: How long will you be staying here ?
Vicky: I'm going home in three days.
Danny: You know what ? I think the rest of the clan likes to see you again. Why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow ? Then you can see my grand daughter.
Vicky: I love to. I'll see you tomorrow. I have to go now, bye.
Claire: Danny, I was supposed to have dinner at your place tomorrow.
Danny: I know. But I haven't seen her in years.
Claire: I understand. But now lets see what we will order.
They look at the menu...
The next morning we find Jesse, DJ and Becky in the kitchen, when Danny walks down with a happy smile on his face...
Danny: Good morning, family.
DJ: Hi dad, what makes you so happy ?
Jesse: I guess you had a rough night with Claire ?
Danny: No, you never guess who I ran into yesterday.
Jesse: Well, you're looking very happy, so I guess it was your big idol, Barbara Walters ?
Danny: Close, but no. Vicky.
Becky: Vicky Larson ?
Danny: I don't know any other women called Vicky.
DJ: How is she doing ?
Danny: She's coming over for dinner tonight, so why don't you ask it yourself ?
Jesse: Danny, does Claire know about Vicky being here ?
Steve walks into the kitchen with Pam...
Steve: Good morning people. I did it I did it.
Jesse: (To Pam) Hi there, little girl. Did you get your daddy potty trained ? What a good job of you.
DJ: (Smiling) No, Steve was going to put Pam's diaper on by himself.
Steve: It never worked out the way I wanted to, but I finally found a way.
Becky: Steve, I think you do need some more practice.
Steve: Why ?
Becky: You have put the diaper around the baby inside out.
Steve: Hey, at least it's stuck.
DJ: Give her to me, I'll show you one more time.
DJ and Steve walk down into the garage, where their room is...
Jesse: After all those weeks I expected that he would be able to change a diaper probably.
Danny: Well, I think I don't have to mention your first diaper change ?
Jesse: hey, that wasn't my fault. Joey was the big kid, and he still is, so he should have known how it had to be done.
Danny: Well, good thing for you guys was that Stephanie knew it.
Becky: Oh honey, I have an appointment with the barber at 10:30.
Jesse: 10:30 ? But I can't go at 10:30.
Becky: Not you, the twins.
Jesse: Hey, if the boys are getting a haircut, I want to be there. I can see when it goes wrong.
Danny: Okay, Becky, we really have to go now, we have to be at the studios in half an hour.
Joey walks down the stairs...
Jesse: Becky, if you're not here, and I'm not here, who's going to the barber with the twins ?
Jesse: Joey, you don't have to wear a cap backwards to look younger than 10. (To Becky) Honey, why is he going with the boys ? Sometimes I'm surprised Joey can cross the street by himself.
Becky: Jess, honey, I trust Joey completely, and he's the only person available.
Joey: Jesse, I promise you will be proud at me. I will be keeping an eye on them. And when the look is not what I want it to be, well, I hope you like it then.
Jesse: Oh no, There goes the Katsopolis tradition of great hair.
We find Stephanie and Gia at their college...
Stephanie: I hate this.
Gia: I can't get all the information for that test in my head.
Stephanie: me neither, oh how I hate this.
Gia: I think the cartoons from yesterday night have deleted all information.
Stephanie: I know how you feel, and I hate this.
Gia: Ten minutes, and we enter the hell called math class.
Stephanie: Did I mention that I hate this ?
Stephanie: Good, because I really hate this.
Then Mark walks by...
Mark: Hi girls.
Stephanie: What are you doing here ? I thought you didn't go to college.
Mark: I am not going.
Gia: You are not going to college ?
Mark: Well, I have been studying very hard for years, and I tried something, but it was not what I wanted. So I am still thinking of what I want to do with my life. I think that it's better for me to start studying next year, while I'm completely sure about it, than choosing a study and that I find out that I don't like it after all.
Stephanie: That's a good point, but I think it's the best to start a study at a college right after your senior year. That's what I'm doing now.
Mark: But what I came for is Jenny, did you see her ?
Gia: I believe she's in the library.
Stephanie: Before you go, Mark. What would you do if you had a test that you really don't know ?
Mark: Well, I would try not to worry too much and just go for it. You never know if you write down the right answer.
Gia: And skipping the class ?
Mark: Never do that. You see, if you skip the class, you will fail for the test without trying. And I just couldn't life with that.
Stephanie: Thanks for your advise.
Mark: Thanks. I think I'm going to study philosophy or something, or advising. Not a bad idea. (He walks away)
Gia: Oh no, I can't do this.
Stephanie: Me neither. Oh man, how I hate this.
Mark: (Turning around) I heard that. You know what's the worst of all right now ? You're attitude. Believe in yourself, take a deep breath and believe you can do it. Just close the books and think of something else. If you are making the test you will fell so much better.
He walks away again...
Stephanie: You know what ? I think he's right. Let's have some coffee, and relax.
They close their books...
We find Jesse and Michelle in the living room...
Jesse: Where are they ? I knew it, they had to go to the emergency, their hair is ruined.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse, you are very nervous.
Jesse: Because Joey had the most important mission man can think of.
Joey walks in...
Jesse: Joey, you are back, where are the boys ?
Jesse: Please let them look good.
The twins walk in with a new hair cut...
Nicky: Hi daddy.
Alex: We are back.
Jesse: Boys, your hair, it's wonderful.
Joey: I told you that I would keep an eye on things.
Jesse: I'm sorry I didn't believe in you, Joey. I have to say, you did an excellent job.
Joey: Thank you.
Michelle: You look very cool, boys.
Nicky: Thanks you, Michelle.
Alex: We are Katsopolis men, so it's our lifetime mission to look cool.
Jesse: (Pulling his arm backwards, with his head to the sky) Yes. Thank you.
Later that day we find Danny, DJ, Steve and Pam in the living room as the doorbell rings..
Danny: How do I look ?
Steve: Like Danny Tanner.
DJ: You look fine. Now don't let your woman waiting.
Danny opens the door...
Vicky: Hi Danny, I hope I'm not too early ?
Danny: No, not at all, come in.
Vicky walks in...
DJ: Hi Vicky.
Vicky: Hi, Oh, is that your baby ? She looks so cute.
DJ: It is, her name is Pam.
Vicky: What an adorable child. You must be proud of her. Can I hold her for a second ?
DJ: Sure. (She gives Vicky the baby)
Vicky: Hi there girl. Are you a lovely baby ? yes you are.
The doorbell rings again...
Danny: Hi Cla...
Kimmy: Hi T-bone. Thanks for the welcome.
Danny: We need another door-mat, specially for you.
Kimmy: For me, how nice.
Danny: And the text won't be welcome, but Goodbye.
Kimmy: What about 'home sweet home' ?
Danny: I wish you could remember that for once.
Stephanie walks down the stairs...
Vicky: Hi Stephanie, how are you ?
Stephanie: Good. How nice to see you again. (She hugs Vicky)
Kimmy: Don't I get a hug ?I just came in too.
Stephanie: Kimmy, I haven't seen Vicky for some years. Unfortunately, I have to see you almost every day. And besides, we are no friends.
Kimmy: Oh yeah. Sorry split-end.
Stephanie: Split-end ?
Kimmy: It was the first thing that ran into my mind.
Stephanie: (Shaking her head) You're nuts.
Kimmy: Hey Deej, can I borrow your child ?
DJ: What for ?
Kimmy: Well, I met this cute guy, and he likes girls with babies, so if I can borrow your son...
DJ: Kimmy, it's a girl.
Kimmy: It is ? Gee, I always thought it was a boy.
Steve: I believe it's not hard to see if it's a boy or a girl.
Stephanie: There's only one exception to that rule, I believe scientists still haven't found out what Kimmy is.
The doorbell rings again, and Claire and Gia walk in as Danny opens the door...
Claire: Hi Danny. I am here.
Danny: I am happy about that.
Gia: And I'm getting sick if you don't stop that.
Danny: Well, we are all here, so all we have to wait until dinner is ready.
Vicky: Who's cooking ?
Danny: I am.
Vicky: That explains the smoke alarm in the kitchen...
Danny runs into the kitchen...
Danny: Joey! Why are you playing with the smoke alarm ?
Joey: Because I served the table, and I like to push that button.
At the dinner table...
Vicky: And do you remember that day we went to Salt Lake City ?
Vicky: And we said to him 'So it's duck soup ?' And his face....'
Danny and Vicky laugh...
Claire: (Sarcastically) Wow, how funny.
Vicky: You had to be there, it was so fun.
Danny: Or that day we met that woman that thought she could walk on water.
Vicky: It was a coincidence that we met her. We were driving around and saw that woman, completely wet...
Claire: Wow, what an interesting stories.
Danny: Oh, we had so much fun together.
Claire: Danny, we have fun together. Remember that time we were in that restaurant and milk came out of that guy's nose ?
Danny: Oh yeah. But that was because he had a heart attack.
Claire: Well, I'm out of here. Goodbye, and have a fun time together. (She walks away angrily) Gia, come with me, I don't want you to stay with them any longer.
Gia stands up...
Gia: I'm sorry Steph, I'll call you later.
Claire and Gia walk away, Danny follows them...
Danny: Claire, please.
Claire slams the door...
Danny: (Opening the door) Please ?
Danny: Mark, where are you doing here ?
Danny: What show did you watch ?
Mark: Now sit down, and tell me the story.
Danny: Well, if you think you can help. (He sits down) Years ago, I had a relationship with Vicky. Later I met Claire, after Vicky and I broke up. Now I met Vicky again, and Claire runs away.
Mark: Ooh, the classic old girlfriend meets new girlfriend scene. Let me guess, Claire was hoping for a good time with you tonight, but you were more busy thinking of the good times you had with Vicky.
Danny: I think so. What should I do ? Gee, I have the feeling I'm talking to my father.
Mark: Well, what would you do if Stephanie, or Michelle, or maybe DJ came in this kind of situation ?
Danny: Well, I would tell them to make the choice between the boys that are concerned in the matter.
Mark: Well, I guess you gave yourself the right advise. Follow your heart, don't look back at the past. Look to the future. Who do you think will be the right person to share the rest of your life with ? The old girlfriend, who just came back to your life, or the girl you love now, and who you really know ?
Danny: But I know Vicky too.
Mark: You know the Vicky you knew years ago. But is she still the same ? Time changes people. So do you still know her ? Answering that question makes your decision easier.
Danny: I guess you're right. Thanks you. You know, this is something else than me advising the girls.
Mark: Hey, that's what I'm here for.
Danny: But now seriously, did you mean what you said about being the actor that gives advise ?
Mark: Well, I came her because I wanted to read my e-mail, you know, you're mother doesn't know much about computers. She saw dust in the disk drive and cleaned it with water. While the computer was turned on. So that's why I came here. But hey, now I was here, I thought I could just do the advise thing, and I think it sounds cool the way I put it.
Danny: Sometimes you are a little bit crazy, you know ?
Mark: Well, my shrink gave me up.
Danny: Thanks. You have much wisdom for a 19 year old.
Mark: Well, what some people, like Kimmy Gibbler, don't have, do others have more.
Vicky walks into the living room...
Vicky: Danny, are you al right ?
Mark: Now I'm here, I think I check if there's something to eat for me left. Or is Steve eating home ? (He walks into the kitchen)
Vicky: Is she gone ?
Danny: Yes she is.
Vicky: Danny, I have been thinking. I move back to San Francisco, and we can start where we ended.
Danny: Vicky, it's not that easy. I mean, I have Claire now, time past by.
Vicky: But we can do as if time stood still.
Danny: No we can't. You have your new job, I did things you know nothing about. We are not the same persons we were anymore.
Vicky: I understand. You're right. But I hope we can still be friends.
Danny: I would love that.
Vicky: I think it's better if I go now.
Vicky leaves the house...
Danny: You guys can come from behind the kitchen door now.
The kitchen door opens...
Michelle: What made you think we were listening to what you said ?
Danny: I know you guys.
Becky: So what are you going to do now ?
Danny: I'm going to Claire. (He leaves the house)
Stephanie: I'm gonna follow him.
Mark: I'll drop you there. It's on my way home.
Stephanie and Mark leave the house...
At Claire's house...
Gia: Mom, it's not fair to let me never see Stephanie again.
Claire: That way you don't have to get in contact with that stupid father of her.
The doorbell rings...
Gia: (Opening the door) Hi Mr. Tanner.
Danny walks in...
Claire: Go away, to that Vicky.
Danny: Claire, please listen to me.
The doorbell rings again...
Gia: (Opening the door) Shall I leave the door open for the Tanner family ?
Stephanie: Did I miss anything yet ?
Stephanie: Okay, we will listen from Gia's room.
Stephanie and Gia walk away...
Danny: Claire, listen. I'm really sorry about tonight.
Claire: Well, that makes two of us.
Danny: I'm sorry that I forgot about you and was so busy with Vicky.
Claire: Well, if you want to go on the way we did before tonight, you have to make a choice.
Danny: Claire, for a choice I need more than one option. And I know I only love you, Vicky belongs to my past.
Claire: You mean that ?
Danny: Yes. I love you very much, and I only want you.
Claire: Well, maybe I need to apologize to you too. I guess I have been over reacting, it's normal that you get up some memories with old friends.
Danny: So we are both sorry ?
Claire: I guess so.
Stephanie: How cute!
Danny: Who wants to get a milkshake ?
Gia: Mr. Tanner, you know we can't say no to that.
They all walk away...
Full House - The new stories
When Danny and Claire are in a restaurant, Danny meets Vicky Larson again. She comes over for dinner the other night, and Claire runs away. Danny gets advise from an unexpected advisor. Jesse also has something on his mind, the twins need to get an haircut.