Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 10
Episode (37) 229 - House Of Dreams
Jesse Katsopolis - Danny Tanner - Joey Gladstone - DJ Tanner-Hale - Stephanie Tanner - Michelle Tanner - Rebecca (Becky) Donaldson-Katsopolis - Nicky & Alex Katsopolis - Kimmy Gibbler - Steve Hale - Gia Mahan - Mark Tanner - Pam Hale (baby) - Comet (the dog)
We find Stephanie and Michelle sitting on the couch with Pam, reading a magazine...
Michelle: Okay Pam, you can't start soon enough with this. You just have to know who are cute boys, and who are not.
Stephanie: Look, this magazine contains pictures of famous guys, and some are good looking and some are made for Kimmy.
Michelle: No, that goes too far. Being ugly, and Kimmy as your girlfriend.
Stephanie: Look, this is a cutie. Brad Pitt.
Michelle: I think she gets it. Okay, now look at this one. Leonardo Di Caprio.
Stephanie: What do you think ?
Michelle: I know he's too old for you, but you can always look.
Stephanie: Uhw groas! There's some ugly woman in here too.
Michelle: Who ?
Stephanie: Marilyn Manson.
Pam starts crying...
Stephanie: I know, that person is ugly. Here, look at this one.
Pam looks at the magazine and starts smiling...
Michelle: Pam, do you think David Bowie is cute ? He could be your mother's great grandfather.
Stephanie: Michelle, I think she means the cookie on the other page.
Michelle: Hm, she is learning the important things of life.
Stephanie: That's because we're good teachers.
Pam waves her arms in front of her, pointing at the cookie...
Michelle: Pam, now I'm going to tell you something more important than who are cute boys: never ask for a cookie. Always ask for more than one.
Pam smiles, as Stephanie turns the page...
------------------------------------------ INTRO ------------------------------------------------
We find Michelle coming out of the bathroom....
Joey: Finally. I have been waiting for hours here.
Michelle: Joey, I was in two minutes.
Joey: Yes, but I was waiting in my room till I was in the mood to go for hours.
Joey walks into the bathroom. Michelle walks into her room, where she finds Nicky and Alex...
Michele: Boys, what are you doing here ?
Alex: We're playing.
Nicky: With your toys.
Michelle: Boys, next time first ask if you can play here, I also need privacy every now and then.
Alex: We don't mind.
Nicky: We can play if you need privacy.
Michelle: Now, I'm going to sleep, so you have to go.
Nicky and Alex stand up and walk away...
Nicky: Good night.
Alex: We'll be back to wake you up next morning.
Michelle: (To herself) I need to find the key of the lock on this door.
Michelle gets into bed, turns out the lights and closes her eyes...
We find the clan walking into the kitchen of a big house in the mountains...
Danny: Good morning, family.
Becky: Guys, I made a delicious breakfast for you. Scrambled eggs with toast and banana pancakes.
Jesse: Honey, that sounds wonderful.
Nicky + Alex: We want breakfast, we want breakfast!
Steve: Yeah, we want breakfast too.
DJ: I hope that was a royal plural?
Steve: No, I was talking about me and my stomach.
Joey: Becky, I hope you thought of Mr. Woodchuck too.
Becky: I sure did. I made him a pine-apple yogurt drink.
Mr. Woodchuck: (Sitting opposite Joey) Ooh, my favorite. I hope the cup you put it in, is made of...wood ?
Becky: One hundred percent oak.
Mr. Woodchuck: She is good.
Michelle: Dad, do you mind if I dive into the pool to fresh up ?
Danny: Of course not, honey. But don't forget to clean the water when you are finished.
Michelle: I know, I have to brush it, wipe it, and of course, vacuum it.
Danny: I'm so proud of you. But didn't you forget one thing ?
Michelle walks outside, and jumps into the pool. When she gets up, a boy is sitting on the edge of the pool...
Toby: Hi Michelle.
Michelle: Who are you, why do you know my name ?
Michelle: You do, huh ?
Michelle: Okay, what was here first, the chicken or the egg ?
Michelle: You could just say you don't know this.
Toby: But I do know. You see, when you are where I am from, you know everything.
Michelle: Then where are you from ?
Toby: Can't tell you.
Michelle: then show me.
Toby: Too dangerous for you. The chance that you never return is very big.
Michelle: My dad can take us with the car.
Toby: Oh no, it's way further than that.
Michelle: Why don't you come into the water ?
Michelle: You know my mother ? But she is dead.
Toby: I know.
Michelle dives into the water again, when she gets up, Toby has disappeared...
Michelle: Now where did that boy go ?
We find Jesse walking through the woods, when he passes a man sitting on a bench...
Elvis: Hi there, stranger, lovely weather, isn't it ?
Jesse: Man, I thought you were... Nah, this can't be true.
Elvis: You think I'm somebody else ? Try me out.
Jesse: Okay, how many sideburns do you have ?
Elvis: Two, one on the left side, and one on the right.
Jesse: Incredible, you must be him, how would you know something like that if you were somebody else. Or, you are just an Elvis fanatic.
Elvis: Do they exist ?
Jesse: Well, uh, yes. In fact, I know a couple of them.
Elvis: Man, that I have to miss that. Well, I got to go.
Elvis stands up, and walks towards a tree...
Jesse: Look out for that tree.
Jesse turns his head and makes a frightened face. When he turns his face back, Elvis has left the forest...
Elvis: Have mercy. I need a seat here.
We find the whole family at dinner...
Becky: (Kissing Jesse who walks in) Hi honey, how was your day ?
Becky: How nice.
Jesse: You don't think I'm a lunatic ?
Becky: No, that part is for Joey.
Joey: Thank you, I appreciate it.
Michelle: I had a strange encounter too. I met this boy, Toby, suddenly he was there, and suddenly he was gone.
Danny: And I had lunch with Pam.
Stephanie: Get out of here!
DJ: Guys, I made a very special soup. It's some recipe I got from the back of a can, so I don't know what it tastes like.
Steve: (Looking at it) I hope it tastes better than it looks.
Michelle: How do you call this ?
DJ: Dreaming fantasy.
DJ sits down, Joey takes a spoon and puts it in his soup, suddenly the whole family is in a weird cartoon world...
Alex: Double cool!
Joey: Hi guys, welcome to my favorite place on earth: cartoon world.
Jesse: Tell me I'm dreaming.
Joey: No Jesse, you are not dreaming, but I am. Look, there's my friend Bugs. Hey Bugs, meet my friends.
Bugs Bunny walks towards Joey...
Bugs: hey, what's up doc ?
Joey: Bugs, I want you to meet my family.
Michelle: Woa baby, he looks so real.
Bugs: Do you think I'm fake ?
Michelle: Not anymore.
Bugs: Hey Daffy, come her and meet some people.
Daffy: Notz now, I'm vvery bwuzzy.
Bugs: Oh yeah, he was going to Donald's birthday party.
Joey: It's Donald's birthday ?
Bugs: It's everybody's birthday here, every day.
Nicky: Where is our cake ?
Alex: Wow. How did you do that ?
Nicky: Please teach us. We want to do that ourselves.
Bugs: Uh, what's up, docs ? Why don't you open your presents ?
Nicky and Alex open their presents, and suddenly they are in their own beds in San Francisco, where they wake up...
Nicky: Oh nuts, now we'll never know what was inside that box.
Alex: You mean you were dreaming the same thing ?
Nicky: We have to tell dad about that.
They get out of bed, and run into the living room up the attic...
Nicky + Alex: Mummy, daddy!
They look around, and see no walls, and no roof...
Alex: Woa, I knew I sneezed too hard this night.
Nicky: Or maybe it was the chili we had for dinner.
Alex: Let's see if anybody is downstairs.
The boys run downstairs, where they enter Michelle's room...
Nicky: Michelle, Michelle, Michelle....
Alex: She's not here.
Nicky: This is strange. Lets see if Joey is still here.
They run to Joey's room, but when they open the door, they see...nothing at all...
Alex: Woa, Joey's room has been changed into a black hole.
Nicky: No way brother. I think that this is just black because he has no light on, and everything I covered with dust.
Alex: then lets wake him.
The twins walk into the black space, and end up in a school class, where DJ, Stephanie, Michelle and Kimmy are sitting...
DJ: Oh great, the teachers have finally arrived.
Michelle: Mister Nicky, can I go to the toilet ?
Stephanie: Did you check on our tests yet ?
Alex: Yes we did. DJ had a B, Stephanie a C, Michelle a B plus, and Kimmy an A plus.
Kimmy: My dad will be so proud. This is the twenty eight A plus in row.
Stephanie: How much did you pay the teachers ?
Michelle: (Walking back into the classroom) That was nice.
DJ: Please spare us the details.
Then Danny walks into the classroom with a note...
Danny: Students. I have a note from our principal, who likes to see Michelle right now.
Nicky: Michelle, you heard the caretaker. Now let him take care of you.
Michelle follows Danny to the principal's office....
Danny: You can go in now.
Michelle walks into the office and sees Comet sitting at a desk, wearing a tuxedo and a tie...
Michelle: What did he say ?
Michelle: Because I need to go very often.
Comet: (Barks again, now louder and longer)
Danny: Okay, you spoil too much water using the toilet here, so next time you have to use a fire hydrant, or he will forbid you to drink water out of the toilet for a whole day.
Michelle: Okay, I will be a good girl from now on.
Comet: (Barks and looks down at his desk)
Danny: You can go back to class now.
Michelle leaves the room and when she walks out of the door, she enters a circus...
Jesse: And there she is, the great Rebecca, who will do a very dangerous trick. She will jump into this bucket with water from the diving board fifteen meters in the sky, and when she does, she will go through a burning hoop, held by my lovely assistant Michelle.
Michelle: Are you ready for it, Rebecca ?
Jesse: Okay, give her one big applause, ladies and gentleman, she's is going up right now.
Becky starts climbing up the stairs that go to the diving board...
Michelle: Okay, and now I'll light the hoop. (She takes some matches and sets the hoop on fire)
Jesse: And the great Rebecca is ready for her jump. And there she goes...
Becky jumps from the diving board, goes through the hoop and end sup on the ground under a tree...
Ruby: Hey, what were you doing in my tree ?
Becky: I wanted to surprise you.
Ruby: Well, you succeeded. I am very surprised.
Becky: Now that I see you, can I take an interview ?
Ruby: You know what ? I interview you. I adore you, I really like your show, goodnight Alabama.
Becky: Ruby Wax likes my show ? Oh my god.
Ruby: Let's start with the first question. Why did you go away from San Francisco ?
Becky: Because I could earn more money in Alabama.
Ruby: Is that nose real ?
Becky: No, I bought it when I was fifteen years old. My dad still got the receipt, and I was just in time to change it.
Ruby: How interesting, and what do you think of Danny Tanners new co-host on Wake Up San Francisco ?
Becky: I think she really gives the show something special. Something that was not there when Danny was doing the show all by himself after I left.
Ruby: You know what, let's watch an episode, I got one on tape. And when we do, we can have a nice cup of tea with a biscuit.
Becky: Sounds like fun.
Ruby: You don't know what it means to me. You are me example.
Becky: Thanks. (To herself) Ruby Wax adores me, my dream comes true.
They sit down in front of the TV and Ruby turns it on...
We see Danny and...Kimmy in the TV studios...
Danny: Good morning, I am Danny Tanner...
Kimmy: And I am single, I like boys with hairy toes, and zits on their back. I'm still single, so if you think you match the description, feel free to call me.
Danny: And today we have a very special guest.
Kimmy: The man who didn't change socks for three years. Here he is... Joey Gladstone.
Danny: Hi Joey.
Joey: Hello, Danny, Kimmy.
Kimmy: No Joey, tell me, how did you get to the idea to leave your socks on ?
Joey: Well, I got sick of doing the laundry, and I knew I wore socks every day, so it was a logical thing to do to leave my socks on.
Danny: Uhw. Don't your feet get smelly ?
Kimmy: Very interesting. But how much longer do you think you can keep up with this brilliant idea?
Joey: Not much longer I think. My left sock is getting full of holes, so I think I will go without socks soon.
Danny: Then you can wash your feet again.
Joey: Maybe, but I don't think I will. The smell of my sweaty foots just fits in with the smell of my room perfect.
Danny: Hey, I can't deny that. Well, we will back with more interesting guests after a word from our sponsor.
DJ walks towards Danny...
DJ: Dad, be more not yourself.
Danny: Deej, you're my daughter...
DJ: At home I am, here in the studios I am your boss, understand ? And if you keep being yourself, I will have to replace you. We already have a perfect candidate.
Danny: Who ?
DJ: Your sisters' monkey Ginger. Okay, we're back in the air in three...two..one...
DJ sits down in a chair next to the set and closes her eyes, when she opens them she is sitting in an office...
DJ: (Pushing a button) Michelle, can you block all my phone calls ? I'm n a meeting.
Michelle: Uhm, there is something to see you here.
DJ: Just send him in.
Michelle: How do you know it's a him ?
DJ: Michelle, I think it's my husband visiting me in his business.
The door opens and Steve walks in...
DJ: Steve, what are you doing here ? Did you finish lunch ?
Steve: I did. And it tasted very good.
DJ: I didn't mean you had to eat it, you had to make it. You are running the cafeteria, remember ? Well, I warned you several times this week, so you're fired.
Steve: Fired ?
DJ: Yes, you heard me. So go pack your stuff, I don't want to see you here again.
Steve walks away as Nelson enters...
DJ: Hi honey.
Nelson: How was your day ?
Nelson: Well, I take the Ferrari home. So you can take the Porsche.
DJ: Okay. Give the kids a kiss from me.
Nelson: Okay. We'll be waiting for you. See you later.
Nelson leaves the room, as Stephanie enters...
Stephanie: Where are the others ?
DJ: Kimmy and Jesse had a little delay, so we can start.
Stephanie opens a book, at a page with a picture of a courthouse on the page where she opens it. Suddenly she is inside the courthouse...
Michelle: All rise for judge Stephanie.
Everybody stands up, as Stephanie walks in. Michelle holds a sign with the text 'Applause' and those present start to clap there hands...
Stephanie: Thanks you, I really love this audience.
Michelle hold a sign with the text 'Silence' and those present are quiet...
Stephanie: Please sit down.
Everybody sits down...
Stephanie: You can bring in the suspect.
Danny opens a door and Jesse walks in with Comet...
Stephanie: Okay, let's see. The suspect, Comet, a golden retriever, has been accused of drinking out of a fountain and loosing hairs in the park, which made an old lady sneeze and loose her false teeth, which fell on the ground and broke.
Jesse: Your honor, it was all an accident. Comet had no control of the falling hairs.
Stephanie: Well, I have some questions about that. Mr. Katsopolis, maybe the suspect can tell me what he was doing in the park at the moment of the crime ?
Stephanie: I see, so you were walking thee, chasing the poodle from your neighbors, right ?
Stephanie: And why were you drinking out of the fountain ?
Jesse: Permission to answer this question ?
Stephanie: Go ahead.
Jesse: The suspect, my client, was thirsty, and couldn't find a toilet. So he used a fountain. What is wrong with that ?
Stephanie: Well, some bird scared of the dog, flew away, and a mister Gladstone accused the dog of eating Tweety, his favorite bird.
Michelle: Uhw, look what the dog did.
Stephanie: Clerk, would you clean that up, please ? Okay, I take this as an offence against the court. And because we don't have a courthouse for dogs, his lawyer will go to prison in stead. One month, case closed. Next.
Jesse is being taken away. He gets thrown in a cell, and the guard closes the door...
Jesse: No, this makes no sense. Let me out of here.
Suddenly, Jesse hears Elvis singing Jailhouse rock, and when he turns his head, he sees Elvis playing the song...
Elvis: Hello, good looking fellow. Here I am again.
Jesse: Wow. I am talking to you for the second time this night.
Elvis: And soon we will have many more chats.
Jesse: We will ? I'd love that.
Elvis: Now, could you help me out ? I need somebody to play the guitar.
Jesse: But I don't have a guitar with me.
Elvis: yes you do. It's standing behind you.
Jesse turns around and sees his guitar standing against a wall near the stage. The door of the cell has disappeared...
Jesse: My guitar!
Elvis: So, are you in, buddy ?
Jesse: You bet I am. Wow, playing with Elvis.
A red curtain drops down between Jesse and Elvis. When it opens, Elvis has disappeared, and Jesse is on a stage, facing thousands of people...
Jesse: (Into the microphone) Okay New York, are you ready ?
The audience screams...
Jesse: Okay, let's hit the music.
Jesse gives a sign to Steve, who is at a panel with buttons at the side of the stage...
Steve: Okay then.
Steve pushes a button, and the lights go down, and the curtain drops on Jesse...
Steve: Oops, sorry!
He runs up the stage, and the audience starts clapping...
Danny: And here he is, the man who can win a year long non-stop hamburgers eating. Steve Hale!
The audience cheers and screams...
Danny: Okay Steve, all you have to do is answer my question right. Here we go. What is your name ?
Steve: Uhm... Steve Hale.
Danny: And we have a winner. Steve, congratulations, how do you feel ?
Danny: Well, all I can say now is have a nice meal, and don't worry about dirty dishes, we have a dish crew ready.
Danny points at Stephanie and Michelle who are standing at a big bowl with water...
Michelle: We are ready for it.
Stephanie: You bet we are!
Steve sits down at a table and DJ brings him hamburgers...
DJ: Bon a petit, Steve.
Steve: Thanks you.
Steve starts eating...
Danny: And how do they taste ?
DJ: Do you think I shall cook this more often ?
Suddenly Steve is sitting in the kitchen of the house in the mountains...
Steve: Sure. It was delicious.
Michelle: I don't say this often, but I can't eat anymore.
Joey: Me neither. Is there a desert ?
Somebody knocks at the door and Danny opens it...
Michelle: Toby ?
Jesse: Elvis ?
Pam: Hi guys. Welcome in this house.
DJ: What is this for house ?
Pam: This is the house of dreams.
Michelle: We saw that.
Pam: But it's also another house. Everybody who enters this, will never get out.
Danny: And why should we, it's beautiful here.
Jesse: My idol is here.
Michelle: And Toby, a cute boy.
Toby: Well thank you, maybe we can go out on a date in heaven once.
Stephanie: Heaven ?
Pam: You see, this is also the house of the living dead.
DJ: Oh my god. This is turning into a nightmare.
Danny: No it's not. See it from the bright side.
Nicky: I bet they have plenty of deserts in heaven.
Becky: Guys, we have to get out of here.
Becky and DJ stand up and walk out of the door. Then they fall in a deep hole...
Stephanie: Oh my god. We have to do something.
Different people are walking towards the clan, carrying scissors, knifes and other stuff to kill people...
Joey: Oh my god, all demons, killers. Chucky, Freddy. This is hell.
Elvis: So you got it ?
Everybody starts screaming...
We find Kimmy lying in her bed as she wakes up by a loud screaming coming out of the house from the neighbors...
Kimmy: What are they screaming about ? I'm not even there. Or maybe they are watching Southpark. I better go check on them, our television doesn't work anymore.
In the Tanner house, lights are turn on everywhere...
Danny: (Running up the corridor) Why are you all screaming ?
Michelle: I had this strange dream.
Stephanie: (Walking out of her room) The weirdest thing happened to me. I was in a house in the mountains and...
Joey: Don't say any more, I had the same dream I guess.
Danny: Let's all go to the kitchen.
In the kitchen...
Jesse: It was a very strange dream.
Joey: I know. Mr. Woodchuck was talking without my voice.
Jesse: No, I was more talking about Becky who made a eatable breakfast.
Becky hits Jesse at his arms..
Michelle: And this boy, who appeared, disappeared, appeared.
Jesse: And Elvis was alive.
DJ: And Mom.
Stephanie; And Kimmy had an A plus at her test.
Michelle: Well, just be glad she didn't cause more trouble.
Then Kimmy opens the back door and runs inside...
Kimmy: Is Southpark on ?
Stephanie: Oh no, the nightmare is complete.
Kimmy: I heard you screaming, so I thought you were watching Southpark.
Jesse: No, we were thinking of you.
kimmy: You were ? Oh I love you guys.
Kimmy hugs Jesse...
Jesse: Oh no, my night has been ruined.
Danny: lets put things together. Who wants to start ?
Becky: And I was interviewed by Ruby wax...
Steve: DJ, what were you doing with Nelson ?
Jesse: And Stephanie, why did you put me in jail ?
Stephanie: I don't know, but I think it was the hardest case of my career.
Danny: Quiet now! Not all at once. There must be an explanation.
Becky: I believe I read about it in some magazine. Scientists are not sure, but in some conditions, different people can have the same dream. They call it multiple dreaming or something.
Stephanie: (Talking into the receiver of the phone) FBI ? Can you give me Fox Mulder please ? What ? Hello ? They hung up the phone. How rude!
Nicky: Daddy, is the roof back on our house ?
Alex: Or can I never sneeze again ?
Jesse: Look, boys, it was just one big dream, we all had at the same time.
DJ: But I loved my career. I was dad's boss, I was manager of a big company.
Danny: Becky, whatever you do, don't go to Alabama, I don't want Kimmy to be my co-host. And Joey, if you don't want to do your laundry, I'll do it for you.
Stephanie: Does that also count for me ?
Danny: No, but whenever I don't want to do the laundry, it's your turn.
Stephanie: Lucky me, you are always in the mood to do the laundry.
Danny: Well, now we're all awake, does anybody want some hot chocolate before we go back to bed ?
Danny stands up and starts making hot chocolate...
Joey: But now you all know what I dreamed tonight. There goes my privacy.
Kimmy: Hey, I don't know it.
Michelle: Thank god.
Steve: I loved the hamburger contest.
The next morning....
Stephanie: Good morning.
DJ: Any strange dreams after we went back to bed ?
Stephanie: Yes. I was dating the ugliest boy in school.
DJ: That's nothing. Steve and I were living together and our household was very similar to Married with children.
Michelle walks down the stairs...
Michelle: Did you also dream of a giant ice-cream that I were mounting, but it grew bigger every meter I got up ?
DJ: No. But sometimes dreams have a meaning.
Michelle: Then what did this dream mean ?
Stephanie: That you eat too much ice-cream.
We find Michelle writing in her diary...
Michelle: (Writing) Dear diary, last night we all had the same dream. It was very strange, and we were going from dream to dream. We started in a house, and ended up in the same house, where I saw mom. But the house was very scary, and we all escaped from death. This morning DJ said that dreams can have a meaning. So maybe this general dream was just an expression of the solidarity in the house. We do everything together, so why don't we share a dream ? Or maybe the dream was telling us we would all live in this house till our dead, but I don't think so. I think we'll never know. But the truth is out there, we only have to find it.
Michelle closes the diary and puts it away. Then she walks out of her room...
Full House - The new stories
When Michelle goes to sleep, she starts dreaming about the whole family being in a house in the mountains. There, strange things happen, people who are dead are talking to them, and they suddenly skip from dream to dream. The family finally finds out that they all had the same dream....