Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 10
Episode (43) 235 - Gone With The Band
Jesse Katsopolis - Danny Tanner - Joey Gladstone - DJ Tanner-Hale - Stephanie Tanner - Michelle Tanner - Rebecca (Becky) Donaldson-Katsopolis - Nicky & Alex Katsopolis - Kimmy Gibbler - Steve Hale - Gia Mahan - Mark Tanner - Pam Hale (baby) - Comet (the dog)
We find Steve in the kitchen, with Pam...
Steve: (Eating) Pam, you don't
believe how good this is.
Steve: Okay, you do believe it. But that's because you know it's true.
DJ and Stephanie walk in...
DJ: Hi Steve.
Steve: Hey Deej, remember you asked me why Pam ate so much ?
DJ: I was being sarcastic when I did that. We all know why.
Stephanie: Yeah, like father like daughter.
Steve: You know, you really should try this. (He takes a spoon out of a bowl, filled with what he's eating)
DJ + Stephanie: Uhw groas!
Steve: Come on, try it, it won't harm you.
DJ tries some of it...
Stephanie: No thanks, Steve. I'll wait for the reaction it has on DJ's body.
DJ: Not bad. What is it ?
Stephanie: Probably some new kind of dog food.
Steve: Close. Baby food. This is what we feed Pam every day. And I cant blame her for eating that much of it.
DJ: Steve, are you eating the baby's dinner ?
Stephanie: Deej, you did too.
DJ: Oh my god.
Steve: You gotta admit it's not bad. (He takes some more)
DJ: Well, You're right. (She takes some more too)
Stephanie: Well Pam, shall we order a pizza for you, huh.
Stephanie takes Pam and walks into the living room, as DJ and Steve eat on...
Stephanie: Now we know that it's true what they say. The older you got, the stranger you act.
------------------------------------------ INTRO ------------------------------------------------
We find Danny and Becky in the living room, as Jesse walks in...
Jesse: Guys, great news!
Becky: Let me guess. Your new single is a big hit in Europe and you're going on a tour to France, Germany and Italy.
Jesse: Was that a wild guess ?
Becky: Sort of. The record company called five minutes ago to give you your flight information.
Danny: Congratulations Jesse.
Jesse: This is really great! I didn't expect “Memories” to be such a big hit in Europe.
Becky: Congratulations honey. Too bad the boys and I can't go with you.
Jesse: What do you mean ? I thought we'd go with the four of us.
Becky: The boys can't get some extra days off from school, and I have to do the show.
Jesse: Danny, can't you do that show on your own ?
Danny: Sure, but Mr. Strowbridge doesn't want that. For some reason he thinks I need somebody that talks too. He said I'm talking too much, I really don't know where he gets that from. I mean, I don't talk much. Don't you think ? Of course you...
Jesse: Danny. Would you do me a favor ? Please shut up, you talk too much.
We find Stephanie and Gia in the kitchen...
Stephanie: I can't believe my uncle Jesse is going to Europe for two weeks.
Gia: Cant we go with them ? I've read so many stories about European boys. Like the Italian, they seem to have some magic touch with women. And the French can kiss, they say, like gods. The Austrian boys are known for their yodeling...
Stephanie: Gia, that is such a nonsense. I mean, if you kick an American boy at....uhm, a certain part of his body, he'll start yodeling too you know.
Gia: You're right. And then we have the Belgium boys, they are known for... well... nothing.
Stephanie: Oh no ? They have... Okay, you got me there.
Michelle walks in...
Michelle: Hi guys. What are you doing ?
Stephanie: Nothing much.
Gia: Nothing you would understand anyway. We were talking about boys.
Michelle: Gia, you can talk about it what you want, I am experiencing it. David will pick me up in five minutes. (She walks away)
Gia: Steph, I don't get it, how can she have a boyfriend and I not ?
Stephanie: Don't worry Gia, I don't think it's too serious between the two of them.
Gia: Steph, I just found a new mission for this weekend. Find me a boyfriend.
Stephanie: Gia, you wanna do that every weekend, and you turn down every boy that asks you to dance. Even the cute ones.
Gia: Yes, that's because I didn't need them at that moment. And besides, those boys weren't that cute... (Thinking) But they did have money. Steph, I'm dumb.
Stephanie: Kimmy is dumb, you just forgot to think back then.
Gia: But I know I won't turn them down that quick anymore. I mean, I just need a boyfriend.
Stephanie: Gia, that's only because you're jealous at Michelle.
Gia: I'm not. I am just disliking the idea of her having a boyfriend and me don't having a boyfriend.
Stephanie: Like I said, you're jealous.
We find Jesse and Becky up the attic...
Jesse: You know, it won't be the same without you on that tour.
Becky: I know.
Jesse: I'll send you a postcard every day.
Becky: Only one ?
Becky: Okay then.
They kiss, as the twins walk in...
Nicky + Alex: Have Mercy !
Jesse: Hi boys.
Nicky: We're gonna miss you daddy.
Jesse: I know boys, I'll miss you too.
Alex: But we will take good care of mummy.
Nicky: We won't do anything you wouldn't do.
Jesse: That's my boys. Come here, give me a hug.
Jesse and the twins hug, as Mark walks up the stair, with sunglasses on his head...
Mark: Hey hugdaddy, are you ready to go ? We'll miss our plane.
Jesse: What do you mean, we will miss our plane ?
Mark: Didn't you know ? I'm coming to Europe with you.
Jesse: You are ?
Mark: Sure. Don't forget who your biggest sponsor is.
Jesse: Oh, you mean Roseanne Barr.
Mark: Okay, I can live with the big part here, but is she also your sponsor ?
Jesse: I guess we have to go then.
They leave the attic...
We find Danny in the living room with Joey...
Danny: It will be quiet around here without Jesse.
Joey: Don't worry Danny, I think it will be crowded enough here.
Danny: What makes you think that ?
Danny: Who could that be ? (He opens the door)
Danny: Wendy, what a surprise indeed. What brings you here ?
Wendy: Didn't Michelle tell you I was coming ?
Joey: Well, she did. She told me and asked me to tell it to you.
Danny: But you didn't. When did you wanted to tell me ?
Joey: Well, uh... Right now. Danny, Wendy is coming.
Wendy: Joey, you're still a big joker.
Joey: Hey, that's me.
Wendy: Well Danny, I'm here because I have a big surprise.
Danny: Ginger has found a husband ?
Wendy: No, but you're close. I'm getting married!
Danny: Congratulations! Who's the lucky man ?
Wendy: Tom Wails. He's a pet doctor at the New York Zoo.
Danny: Wow, my sister is finally getting married. What do you say of that, Joey ?
Joey: Great. (He looks disappointed)
The next morning, we find the whole clan at the breakfast table...
Danny: Good morning. It's a bright and shiny day...
Becky: Danny, please, don't remind me. I've been up all night. The twins kept asking for Jesse. They even packed their bags to go after him.
DJ: Sounds like somebody is having a problem here.
Steve: I know, a big problem.
Michelle: What problem ?
Steve: We're out of peanut butter.
DJ: No, not that. I think the twins are homesick for Jesse.
Becky: You really think so ?
Stephanie: I think DJ is right. I mean, how many times did they not ask for uncle Jesse since the moment he left ?
Becky: Well, Nicky did once, last night in the bathroom, but that was because he needed some fresh toilet paper.
Danny: Becky, I think you and the boys need a holiday. To Europe.
Becky: But we can't go away...
Danny: Don't worry, I'll find somebody to co-host the show.
Joey: Don't worry Becky, I'll take your place, as Danny's female co-host. Well, that is of course as long as I don't have to wear high heels.
Becky: But what about the boys ? They will miss school...
Danny: They can miss some weeks of that. They can take their books with them.
DJ: I know one of the teachers there, I can arrange their extra holiday I think.
Becky: I don't know.
Stephanie: Aunt Becky, look at them, they used the butter to write 'dad' on their sandwich.
Becky: Oh, they did. Well, I think it can't do any harm. Boys, we're going to your dad.
Stephanie: Dad, can I go with them ?
Danny: No. You have to go to college.
Stephanie: But dad, it's not like they can't miss me at college.
Danny: I know, but it's like you can't miss college.
We find Jesse and Mar at the airport of Paris...
Mark: Ah, vive la France!
Jesse: You speak French ? Great!
A woman walks towards Jesse and asks something in French...
Lady: Pardon, vous parler francais ?
Jesse: Mark, she's yours.
Mark: What did she ask ?
Jesse: I don't know, you speak French.
Mark: Two words: ‘Oui' and ‘Non'. I don't know what she just said.
Jesse: Well, I believe she asked if we are in France.
Mark: (To lady) Uh, yes...oui. We are in French.
Lady: Bien. Vous avez un franc pour moi ?
Jesse: What was that ?
Mark: I think she wants to know if your name is Frank.
Jesse: It really sounded like that yes. (To lady) Uh, no, I am Jesse.
Lady: Non, she voudrais un franc.
Mark: Oh, her name is Frank. Nice to meat you, Frank. (He wants to shake hands with the lady, but she turns her head and walks away) Women!
Jesse: And I thought the French were polite.
Mark: No, but they do like to hug.
A man walks towards them...
Toine: (With a French accent) Ah, you must be Jesse Katsopolis.
Jesse: That's right.
Toine: I am Toine, I'll be your guide for the next days.
Jesse: How nice.
Mark: Do you speak French ?
Toine: Mais oui!
Mark: Great, because we don't.
We find Danny and Wendy in the living room...
Danny: I can't wait to meet Tom.
Wendy: I'm sure you'll like him.
Michelle walks in...
Aunt Wendy, why didn't you bring Ginger ?
Michelle: Babies ?
At that moment Stephanie and Gia walk in...
Stephanie: Dad! Is Michelle having a baby ?
Gia: Oh my god, she even...
Danny: No, Ginger has become a mother.
The doorbell rings...
Wendy: I guess that will be my man. (She opens the door)
Tom: Hi honey.
Wendy: Hi Tom. Come, I'll introduce you. This is my brother Danny, his daughters Stephanie and Michelle.
DJ and Steve walk in with Pam...
Steve: Finally, the pizza man is here.
DJ: No, I think somebody else rang the doorbell.
Wendy: DJ, meet Tom, my fiancée. Tom, this is my niece DJ, her husband Steve and my cousin Pam.
Tom: Hi. What a cute little baby.
Steve: Are you sure you're not the pizza man ?
Michelle: You went to the North pole ?
DJ: We know all about that. We used to put a sign like that next to Steve, but it didn't work so we removed it.
Jesse: Oh, hi.
Receptionist: Can I help you ?
Receptionist: Your name ?
Receptionist: Oh yeah. Mr. Kitsipilos.
Jesse: Close. Try again.
Receptionist: Is that American humor ?
Receptionist: Then go to hell, Mr. Kotsapolos.
Receptionist: Oh sorry, that was some French humor, funny, don't you think.
Mark: What will your boss say about your behavior ?
Mark: Oh yeah, right besides the sign that says ‘watch out, sulky and ugly man sitting in front of you.' Sorry, I didn't notice it before.
Receptionist: You have the room behind the kitchen. In the garbage can.
Mark: So I guess you'll be having a roommate, huh.
Jesse: You know, on moments like this, I need Kimmy around me.
Mark: Somewhere deep inside there's a part of you just loving her, right.
Jesse: No, she can't keep insulting on me for that long.
Gia: Okay, our mission has started.
Stephanie: Gia, can you please tell me why I'm doing this ?
Stephanie: Gia, as your best friend, I'd like to say something to you. How pathetic! This is sick. You're too desperate.
Gia: Oh yeah, and what if he has a cute twin brother ?
Stephanie: That's a point. But that would mean you could only date guys who are part of a pair of twins.
Gia: Steph, why do you have to make fun out of everything I say ?
Stephanie: I guess it's just the way I am.
Gia: Okay, we've talked enough, let's find some cuties for me.
Stephanie: What about that one ? (She points at a boy in the corner)
Gia: Stephanie! How could you recommend something like that to me ?
Stephanie: What's wrong with him ?
Gia: Do you see that guy sitting next to him ? That's his boyfriend.
Stephanie: Oh. Well, then what about him ?
Gia: No way. I can't kiss him. His nose is much to big.
Stephanie: Another one, him!
Gia: Uhw, Stephanie, where is your taste for men ?
Stephanie: Why do I have the feeling that this isn't quit working out the way you planned ?
Gia: Because you pick the wrong guys.
Stephanie: No, because you are watching the outside more than the inside.
Gia: So what.
Stephanie: Well, this way you could end up with a guy like Duane, like Kimmy got stuck with some time ago.
Gia: And I don't want that, right.
Gia: Okay, let's go to another place.
Danny: I still can't believe it, my sister is finally getting married.
Joey: I don't want to believe it.
Danny: Joey, are you telling me you're jealous at my sister ?
Joey: No, I'm jealous at that Tom.
Danny: I didn't know you still felt something for Wendy.
Joey: Danny, some feelings just don't disappear whenever I want.
Danny: I think you should try to find a way to live with this.
Joey: (Talking like a child that doesn't get what he wants) But I don't want that.
Danny: Joey, do you want a lemonade with a straw and a cookie ?
Danny: I meant that sarcastically.
Joey: You know what, maybe I should tell Wendy what I still feel for her.
Danny: I think you better don't do that.
Joey: No, I'm gonna do that right now.
Danny: Can't you wait ?
Joey: No, I think I need half an hour, and in 35 minutes there is a Tom & Jerry marathon at the cartoon network. (He walks up the stairs)
We find Becky and the twins in an airplane...
Nicky: Mummy, can't we open a window ?
Alex: It's very hot in here.
Becky: No boys, but maybe the stewardess can put the air-conditioning on. Excuse me miss...
Stewardess: Yes ?
Becky: Do you have air-conditioning in this plane ?
Stewardess: Yes, but I just turned it off because the lady behind you thinks
it's very cold in the plane.
Becky: Excuse me miss, do you mind if we put the air-conditioning on again ?
Becky: (Turns back to the boys) Boys, we've got a very famous person behind us. Monica Lewinsky.
Nicky: Who is that ?
Alex: Never heard of her.
Becky: Excuse me miss... Monica...
Monica: How do you know my name ?
Becky: Who doesn't.
Monica: Look lady, I think it's cold in here, so the air-conditioning stays off.
Becky: Then put on some clothes. You're almost sitting here in your
Nicky + Alex: That Monica!
Becky: Look, the boys think it's hot in here, so if we put the air-condition on for about five minutes....
Monica: No, what do you think happens when I get cold again ?
Becky: Hey, it's know worldwide that you love to play with cigars, so I'm sure you'll have matches is your purse.
Monica: Oh, you think I'm that Monica. Well, I'm not. I'm Monica Lopaz. So you got the wrong person in front of you. And besides, why do you keep bothering her with this thing from the past ?
Becky: Oops. (She turns back)
Nicky: What's wrong ?
Becky: Boys, the lady behind us is not the person we thought she was.
Alex: I think I take a nap, this is getting too complicated for my young mind.
Joey: Hi Wendy, can I, uh, talk to you ?
Wendy: Sure. Hey, don't look that serious, you're frighting me.
Joey: Well, I guess for one time in my life I am serious. You see, I, I mean a friend of mine has a problem.
me guess, are you that friend ?
Wendy: I do, and it was a great time, Joey.
Joey: Well, I thought it all belonged to the past, but when you were suddenly standing in front of us, it all came back.
wrong with that ?
Wendy: Oh Joey, I hope you're not trying to tell me that you still have feelings for me ?
Joey: Well, actually that is what I'm trying to tell you.
Wendy: Joey, how can you do this to me ?
Joey: What ?
Wendy: I know what you're doing now. I believe that you now expect me to break with Tom, well I won't. Of all people, you were the last one I was expecting this from.
Joey: No, that's not why...
Please leave this room. (She turns her face away from Joey)
Michelle: So how did it end with Gia ?
Stephanie: Bad. She ended up with zero guys, zero phone numbers and zero money.
Michelle: How come ?
Stephanie: We made a bet for all the money we had with us that she wouldn't make it. And I won.
Michelle: You guys are nuts.
Stephanie: No, Gia is. I can't believe she's making such a deal out of the fact that you have a boyfriend, and she doesn't.
Michelle: So that's what it's all about ? She's jealous at me ? Wow, this feels great!
Stephanie: there must be a way to help her. But there is no boy good enough
for her it seems.
DJ: Hi guys. What's up ?
Stephanie: Gia turned down all the boys I found her last night.
DJ: Are you still busy with that ?
Stephanie: She's my friend, I want to help her.
DJ: Steph, you can't fall in love whenever you want, it's just something that happens to you.
Stephanie: I know, but Gia seems to forget this every time.
DJ: Does she ? Maybe she's looking for a certain person, she always had a crush on.
Stephanie: That could explain why she finds bad things in all the boys. But who could it be ?
Jesse: Okay, I've gotta rehearse with the band in five minutes. I'll see you at seven in the hotel.
Mark: Okay. But can I have Toine ?
Jesse: No, he's the only one who knows where I am rehearsing. (He gets into a cab with Toine)
Mark: Well Mark, enjoy yourself. Let's see what can I do ?
Stranger: Hi, want to make fun ?
Mark: That depends on what you think is fun.
Stranger: I've got some cool things to show you.
Mark: Sorry, but I already have a refrigerator. (Looking surprised at his watch) Oh, it's that time already, I have an appointment with some interesting people. Bye. (He walks away)
Becky: Boys, we're going to find your father now.
Nicky: Mommy, why do those people talk so strange here ?
Alex: They use all these strange words. Like Oui and non, l'airport, in stead of the airport. Are they dumb around here ?
Becky: No, they just speak another language.
Alex: Oh, sort of like what Pam does ?
Nicky: With this difference that we understand Pam.
Becky: Well, for now you can keep that thought in mind.
Nicky: Now where is daddy ?
Alex: I wanna see him.
Becky: Well, there's only one way to find out. Let's call Mark on his
Mark: Hello, this is the voice of Mark Tanner, are you a hot looking...
Becky: Hi Mark.
Mark: Oh, I expected somebody else to call.
Becky: You don't say so. Listen, can I speak to Jesse ?
Mark: That will be a little hard. He's rehearsing for his performance at the moment, and only Toine knows where.
Becky: Toine ?
Mark: Our local guide in Paris. But when I see him, I can ask him to call you back.
Becky: I've got a better idea. Do you know the hotel at the airport ?
Mark: I think so, why ?
Mark: Okay, but it might take several hours for me to get there. I have the feeling even the signs are in French.
Wendy, can't you talk to Joey ?
Danny: You mean what you think he was trying to do. You know Joey, do you really think that would be the reason he told you about his feelings ? I think he was just trying to be honest with you, without bad intentions.
Wendy: Maybe you're right, and did I overreact. But I was surprised and didn't know what to do at that moment.
Danny: So maybe you should talk to him.
Wendy: Yeah, I'll check on him. (She walks into the living room, where Joey is watching cartoons) Joey, can we talk ?
Joey: You want to lecture me again about thinks I didn't do ?
Wendy: No, I want to apologize. You see, I kind of overreacted. But that was because I didn't expect what you said.
Joey: Wendy, why did you think I would try to force a break between Tom and you ? All I want is you to be happy.
know. Can you forgive me, please ?
That night in Paris...
stage) Thanks you, you were a great audience. Au revoir!
Becky: Come boys, we're going to surprise your dad.
mean we're going to hide somewhere and call ‘boo', so he scares ?
Alex: And then we're leaving him behind ? No way.
follow me, you are thinking too much.
Guard: Non, Vous ne aimez pas continuer.
Nicky: I knew it!
Alex: (To guard) We love you too.
Becky: No, Jesse is my husband.
Guard: Ah, vous are Anglish...
Frenchie, it's okay, you can let them through.
shower-artist! There's a surprise for you.
Shower artist ?
Jesse: Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Nicky: We have been in a plane.
Alex: And we didn't like the food we got.
Nicky: It tasted like a pile of wood.
Alex: Too bad we didn't take Mr. Woodchuck with us then.
long are you guys staying ?
Jesse: That is just great. Where are you guys sleeping ?
Mark: We moved all their stuff to your room.
Jesse: Okay then. Come, let's find some place to eat, I'm starved.
Nicky: Are French cookies tasty enough ?
Gia: Steph, I'm sorry.
Stephanie: Gia, I have more pencils. That you break one chewing on it.
Gia: No, I'm sorry that I kind of forced you to find me a boyfriend.
Stephanie: It's okay. I think it was kind of funny though. But I'm still wondering who you tried to find. I mean, it seemed like you were testing all of them, looking for somebody who was exactly like somebody else.
Gia: Yeah, maybe I was. But I guess I'll know who I tried to find, and nobody else will. I prefer to keep that to myself.
Stephanie: You know, that's the first time I heard you talk that way. Usually you want to share everything about boys you like with me.
Gia: Well, I guess I'm becoming a little older too every day.
Stephanie: But I'm sure we'll both find our prince on the white horse some day.
Gia: I know.
Danny: I'm gonna miss you sis.
Wendy: Danny, don't be silly. Next month is my wedding, and we'll see each other again there.
Tom: Yes, that's what I wanted to talk you about. Danny, do you want to be our best man ?
Danny: I'd be honored to.
Wendy: That's our cab. We got to go.
Joey: Be careful. And good luck.
Thanks. See you next month!
Danny: (Walking inside) Well, maybe now we can get some rest here.
not that crowded now, so it should work out.
Kimmy: Hi T-bone, and cartoon-head! Look what I got. (She shows a trumpet and starts playing it)
no, there goes our rest!
Kimmy: Uhw. What did you do that for ?
just something I always wanted to do.
Full House - The new stories
Jesse's new song is a big hit in Europe, and he goes on a tour there. Becky and the twins won't go with him in the first place, but later they go to Paris anyway. Danny's sister Wendy is coming to visit, and she has a surprise for the family. Gia is jealous at Michelle having a boyfriend and together with Stephanie she tries to find one of her own.