Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 10

Episode (47) 239 * Last Action Retriever

Written by: Martin van Dam

Jesse Katsopolis - Danny Tanner - Joey Gladstone-DJ Tanner-Hale - Stephanie Tanner - Michelle Tanner - Rebecca (Becky) Donaldson-Katsopolis -Nicky & Alex Katsopolis -Kimmy Gibbler - Steve Hale - Gia Mahan - Pam Hale (baby) - Comet (the dog)

We find Stephanie and Michelle in the kitchen with Comet...
Michelle: Comet, are you sure you can't wait just a little longer ? It's raining cats and dogs!
Comet barks...
Michelle: Oh boy, I shouldn't have mentioned the cats I guess.
Stephanie: Well Michelle, looks like you have to take an umbrella with you then.
Michelle: (Opens the door) With this wind ? No umbrella can live through that!
Stephanie: Well, you might consider using the hood of your jacket then. I really don't think Comet can wait much longer.
Danny walks into the kitchen...
Danny: You know that I just wondered why the water in the fish tank was frozen ? Now I know, the door is open!
Stephanie: Dad. We don't have a fish tank.
Danny: I know. I was just trying to ask you to close the door in a witty way. But I guess it didn't work out ?
Stephanie: (Shaking her head) Dad, just keep practicing, and maybe it might work some day.
Danny: Well, can you at least close the door, it's letting the cold in.
Michelle: Why ? It's not bothering me.
Stephanie: Ah, now that's witty!
Michelle: Oh well, you know me. Always the funny one. (Looking at Comet) Oh well, come on boy. Time to face the wet and windy world outside.
Michelle walks out and closes the door. Stephanie shakes her head...

------------------------------------------ INTRO ------------------------------------------------

We find Stephanie in the living room with a pile of papers when Danny walks in..
Danny: Hi honey... woa, what's that ?
Stephanie: A pile of paper.
Danny: I can see that. (he picks up a magazine) Yale info magazine 2000. So you're finally picking a study ?
Stephanie: Yeah. I just don't know what to choose. I mean, law, medicine, recreational studies, I just don't know what to pick, although recreational sounds good.
Danny: And how about those tests you had last month ?
Stephanie: Dad, these tests said I had best perspective for the future by becoming a marine officer.
Danny: That test really said that ? Well, honey, I would never have let you become a marine officer. You'd be too far away from home too often then. And do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of your clothes.
Stephanie: Don't forget I hate violence.
Danny: Of course. I was just summing up the other than the obvious disadvantages.
DJ walks in...
Stephanie: There's so many things I could do, and I just don't know what to pick.
DJ: College choices ? I remember when I had to choose. The test at school said I should open my own barbershop. But although uncle Jesse got excited with that idea, I decided it was not what I wanted. Then I got an interest in medicine. But dad begged me on his knees not to do that.
Stephanie: I remember that... why didn't he want you to become a doctor again ?
DJ: Because blood stains are hard to get out of your clothes.
Stephanie: Now where did I hear that one before.
DJ: Then, after Steve's suggestion to start cooking school, I decided I like kids, so I wanted to do something with them. And so I choose teacher. But then of course I got a little one myself, and I'm still on a college break.
Danny: And I still think you should continue...
DJ: Dad, how many times do I have to tell you that I'll pick up my study next year. Point Is Steph, that you should pick something that fits what you like.
Stephanie: So basically you're telling me that I should think about what I really like and base my choice on that ?
DJ: Exactly.

We find Joey in the kitchen when Michelle and Jesse walk in with Comet...
Joey: Hey guys. So how did it go at the vet ?
Michelle: Not too well. Comet's recent laziness is caused by his age.
Jesse: Yeah, according to doctor Broker Comet has reached quite a respectable age for a retriever.
Michelle: And that explains why Comet doesn't always storm into the kitchen when my dad is cooking beef anymore.
Jesse: And why I haven't seen him on the attic for weeks. He's just getting old, and his age is really getting to him.
Joey: Well, fortunately he's still capable of attending our toiletbowl drink session.
Michelle: Toilet bowl drink session ? You drink from the toilet bowl ?
Joey: No. Of course not. Don't you know it's a very interesting habbit from a dog, that is just enjoyable to watch ?
Jesse: No I didn't.
Joey: Well, it is. Oh, and I think it's time. Come on boy...
Joey walks away, followed by Comet...
Michelle: Sometimes, Joey is really weird.
Jesse: Sometimes ?
Michelle: But on the other hand, I wouldn't want to know Joey any different.

We find DJ and Becky in the kitchen... Becky is dangerously close to the stove...
DJ: Aunt Becky, do you really think it's a good idea for you to cook ?
Becky: Yeah, why not ? I might have some minor problems every now and then...
DJ: Remember last time you cooked ?
Becky: You mean my own special beef roast ?
DJ: That's what I mean. And remember the special thing was the black crust ?
Becky: That wasn't such a big succes, right ?
DJ: No, it wasn't.
Becky: But this time will be different. Spaghetti a la Becky.
Stephanie walks in...
DJ: So how's your quest for college going ?
Stephanie: Well, I have been thinking of what you said earlier. And there's so many things I like. I mean, I like shopping, but don't want to be in salesbusiness. I like pizza and fastfood, but I can't see myself as employee of the Pizza Hut or Mc Donalds.
DJ: (smiling) Well, that's positive. You're eliminating things you don't want to do.
Becky: I remember when I had to choose years ago. My parents kept pushing me to go to cooking class.
DJ: I can imagine where they were coming from with that suggestion.
Becky: No, they were literally pushing me. I didn't want to go, thanks to my english teacher I had other plans. But my parents each grabbed one of my arms and pushed me into the class.
Stephanie: Then what happened ?
Becky: The teacher adviced me to stop when my meatloaf caught fire during the first class.
Kimmy walks in...
Kimmy: Hey Deej (she sees Becky behind the stove) Woa, who needs to be killed that you're cooking ?
Stephanie: Look who's here. The guinea pig for tonight's dinner.
Becky: Hey, I'm here girls. And this spaghetti will be just fine. Nothing much that can go wrong with spaghetti is there!
Kimmy: Well, mrs. Hairboy, my uncle Dave almost choked on his spaghetti once.
DJ: How did that happen ?
Kimmy: My grandma couldn't find her glasses, so she cooked her knitting wool in stead of spaghetti.

That evening, around dinner time, Becky and Danny are in the kitchen...
Becky: Guys, dinner is ready!
Stephanie walks down the stairs...
Stephanie: Sorry, but I won't eat at home tonight. I'm going to the movies with Gia, and we would grab a snack at the mac first.
Danny: Steph, we have rules for that remember ? You're supposed to inform us more than 5 minutes before dinner.
Stephanie: Well, if you wait for another 6 minutes, then I didn't break that rule!
Danny smiles...
Danny: Okay honey. Have fun then!
The rest of the clan also enters the kitchen...
Nicky: What's for dinner ?
Becky: I made spaghetti!
Alex: You mean you cooked ?
Nicky: Daddy, can we call for pizza ?
Jesse: Well...
Becky looks at him with a severe look...
Jesse: Uhm... boys, we're not going to order pizza.
Michelle: Oh nuts!
Jesse: Well, at least not untill we tasted the spaghetti.
All stare at their plate and from one to another...
Becky: Hey, are we going to eat or what ?
Nicky: Mommy, are you sure the spaghetti is dead ?
Becky: Yes, I'm sure. Now, let me proof to you once and for all, that this is eatable. (She takes a bite) Not bad, even though I say so myself...
Nicky and Alex look at Jesse with a begging look in their eyes. Joey does the same to Danny...
Danny: Come on guys. Let's trust Rebecca on this one.
Becky: Thank you Danny. I'm glad you want to eat my spaghetti.
Danny: I do ? Oh yeah, I do.
Danny takes a bite. The others give him a questioning look...
Steve: Is it safe to eat this ?
DJ: Like you ever care. You would eat Comet's dog food if you had to.
Michelle: Well dad ?
Danny: Uhm. Okay. I think Becky has surpassed herself this time.
Michelle: That's not hard.
Danny and Becky take another bite...
DJ: I guess it's save then.
Michelle: What's this green and brown things ?
Becky: Meatballs.
DJ: Green meatballs ? I hope you're kidding ?
Steve: Yeah, me too. I don't like vegetarian meatballs.
DJ: Steve, green meatballs are no good sign.
Danny: I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for the color. What did you do to them ?
Becky: Well, I got them out of the fridge, opened the package and let the meat out of the fridge for a couple of hours so it could get unfrozen. Then I made little balls and baked them.
Danny: You mean the meat have been in an open package outside the fridge before you baked it ?
Becky: Exactly.
Jesse: Okay, that's it. What's the number from the Pizza Hut again ?

The next morning, we find Michelle walking into the kitchen...
Michelle: Comet, come here boy. Time for your walk.
She waits a few seconds...
Michelle: Comet, where are you ?
No sign of Comet, as Jesse walks down the stairs...
Jesse: Hey shorty, what's up ?
Michelle: I'm calling Comet, but he's not responding.
Jesse: Let's check his basket.
They walk to the laundry room, where Comet's basket is...
Michelle: He's not there. Comet, where are you boy ?
They walk away, as Stephanie and Danny walk into the kitchen...
Danny: Archeologist ? You know you get dirty fingernails from digging in the ground ?
Stephanie: Yeah, but history fascinates me.
Danny: Since when ?
Stephanie: You know, I never really realized it did, until I was looking through a profession guide and came across ‘archeologist'.
Danny: You know you'd also have to dig in the rain ?
Stephanie: I do ? Hm, let's move on to the B then... let's see... broker. Nah, doesn't appeal to me. Circus manager, dustbuster salesman. Hm, no interest in sex operation. I really don't know what to pick.
Danny: Something just as important is to choose what college you would go to.
Stephanie: Well, Boston, Hawaii Pacific
Danny: You know that's a long trip to commute, don't you ?
Stephanie: Dad, that's why some great mind made up campus!
Danny: Really ? (He looks troubled)
Stephanie: Dad, are you ok ?
Danny: Yes honey, of course I am. It's just that I need to uhm... clean the toilet.
Danny runs off, as Michelle and Jesse walk in...
Jesse: What's with him ?
Stephanie: I believe he's anxious about cleaning the toilet.
Jesse: Really ? Becky had an emergency stop at the toilet as well this morning...
Michelle: Steph, have you seen Comet ?
Stephanie: No, why ?
Michelle: I was going to walk him, but he can't be found anywhere. We checked the kitchen, the living room, laundry room and he's not there.
DJ and Steve walk out of their room in the basement...
DJ: What's going on ?
Michelle: Comet's missing. He can't be found anywhere.
Steve: My aunt had a dog that disappeared one day.
Stephanie: What happened ?
Steve: Well, according to the vet, animals feel when they're time has come to die. Then they walk away to a place far away from their home. A few days later someone called that he had found her dog, lying dead in his garden.
Michelle: Oh no. Comet.
DJ: Thanks Steve. That cheered her up.

A little later, we find everybody entering the kitchen again...
Jesse: I looked on the attic. He's not there.
DJ: I checked the basement and the living room.
Stephanie: He's not in my room or Michelle's room either.
Michelle: Then where is he ?
Then Nicky and Alex walk in, followed by Comet...
Michelle: Comet!
Jesse: Where do you come from ?
Nicky: From outside.
Alex: We played soccer in the garden.
Nicky: And Comet watched.
Michelle: Thank god you're alright boy.

We find Danny, Joey and Becky in the living room...
Becky: I'm sorry Danny, but I don't think I'm capable of doing the live report of the opening from that new restaurant. My guts are playing up.
Danny: I know the feeling.
Stephanie and Michelle walk in...
Joey: Well, maybe you ate something wrong.
Danny: Like what ?
Stephanie + Michelle: Spaghetti!
Becky: Hey!
Danny: Now girls, I don't think we should blame this on last night's dinner.
Joey: I think they might have a point. Think about it. You were the only ones eating from the spaghetti, and you're also the only ones living on the toiletbowl.
Michelle: Exactly. And remember the meatballs had nasty green color.
Becky: I think they might be right.
Danny: Do you think you can do the show ?
Becky: Like I said, I really don't think so. Can you ?
Danny: Well, if I have to do it by myself, then I'll do it by myself. I'm sure I can handle it.
Becky: Are you sure ?
Danny: Positive. But if you want to excuse me now...
Danny runs off again...
Later, we find Danny and a camera crew near the filming location...
Director: Okay Tanner, you know what to do ?
Danny: Of course I do. I just do what I'm good at. Talk.
Director: As long as you let the owner of the restaurant talk most.
Stephanie and Gia walk by...
Gia: Isn't that your dad ?
Stephanie: It is. They're making a report for the opening of the restaurant. (She waves to Danny) Hi dad!
Danny: Hi honey. What are you doing here ?
Stephanie: Shopping.
Director: Tanner, we'll start in 30 seconds!
Danny: Okay, I'll be right there. Oh no...
Stephanie: What is it ?
Danny: The spaghetti is playing up again. (he hands the microphone to Stephanie). Here, hold this for me, will you.
Danny runs into the restaurant, looking for a toilet. Stephanie is left with the microphone...
Director: What was that all about ?
Stephanie: Emergency toilet break.
Director: Great. So now both my hosts are gone and the opening is about to take place.
Stephanie: Can't they wait until my dad returns ?
Director: No, that's impossible, we're going live. Listen, can you talk ?
Stephanie: Uhm, yeah. I'm talking now, right. Was it a rhetorical question by any chance ?
Director: Great. What's your name ?
Stephanie: Stephanie Tanner.
Director: Well Stephanie, you're about to make your television debut then.
Stephanie: I am ?
Director: You're my only hope to get the report done. So, for your fathers sake. You're making your debut!
Stephanie: Oh, ok.
Gia: Cool. Go for it girl!
Director: Follow me. We're already running late.
Stephanie follows the director to a man in a black suit...
Director: Stephanie, meet Jed, the owner of the restaurant. Jed, this is our reporter.
Jed: I thought that Danny Tanner guy was going to do the report ?
Director: He was, until something came between. But we have to begin. Roll the camera Dave. (To Stephanie) Good luck.
Stephanie: Thanks. I'll need it.
The director waves at Stephanie. In doubt, she waves back...
Director: Talk!
Stephanie: Oh. Hi people, I'm Stephanie Tanner, and I'm here with uhm... Jed. Jed is the owner from the new restaurant, called... (She looks around to see the name on the window) Jed's Grill. I think we know where the name came from. Well Jed, do you have anything to say to the viewers out there ?
Jed: Yes. Like what ever happened to preparing oneself for an interview ?
Stephanie: Remember the storm last month ? That blew that habit away. Nothing wrong with spontaneity, right ? Right. Now Jed, tell us a little about your restaurant. Like what will be on the menu ?
Jed: The menu, well uhm... grilled meat and chicken for affordable prices!
Stephanie: And what makes your restaurant so special compared to other restaurants ?
Jed: Well, we don't have much of a real menu really. We grill, and people can walk by and grab meat from the grill.
Stephanie: Okay. So it's kind of a grilled buffet ?
Jed: Exactly.
Stephanie: That sound promising. I remember last year we went to this restaurant that had what they called a ‘walking buffet'. It took us two hours before we caught the chicken.
Gia starts laughing. The director waves his hand to shut her up...
Stephanie: Well Jed, maybe you can tell something about yourself as well ? Like, what did you do before ?
Jed: Well, I followed cooking school and worked as assistant chef in a restaurant in San Diego. I recently moved to San Francisco, to fulfill my dream and open my own restaurant.
Stephanie: Your dream you say ? So you always wanted to have your own restaurant ?
Jed: Ever since I knew I liked to cook.
The director signals there's only 1 minute left by putting one finger up...Stephanie looks up...
Stephanie: As our director just pointed out... the sky is getting gray, and I think he's right in saying it might start raining soon. So this was Stephanie Tanner, live from Jed's Grill. Of course, when the rain starts falling down, Jed's Grill has a roof, so you can enjoy a dry meal...
Director: Cut! We're off the air!
Danny walks back...
Danny: Sorry I had to run. I hope the delay didn't cause too much trouble ?
Director: What delay ? Your daughter took over. And I must say she did a pretty well job for a beginner.

We find Jesse and Michelle walking Comet...
Michelle: Come on Comet. You can go faster than that.
Jesse: I think it's his age.
Michelle: It really got to him rapidly then.
Jesse: You heard what the vet said. It can go very quick sometimes. One moment you don't notice a thing, and the next it's really starting to show off.
Comet howls a little and looks sadly at Michelle..
Michelle: What is it boy ? (She stops and sits down) Shall we go home ?
Comet barks and sits down...
Michelle: Just a little further boy, we're close to your favorite fire hydrant.
Comet barks again and stands up. Jesse and Michelle start walking again...
Michelle: Come on boy.
Comet stands still and looks at her with a sad look...
Jesse: Come on boy, we'll walk slowly.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse ?
Jesse: Yes honey ?
Michelle: I want to go home now. And maybe we should go to the vet again.
Jesse: Yeah, maybe we should. Yesterday he was more vivacious than he is today.
They start to walk back. Comet keeps standing still...
Michelle: Come on boy, we're going home.
Comet barks and looks over the street...
Michelle: Comet, come on boy. We don't have to carry you, don't we ? Uncle Jesse, would you carry him ?
Jesse: Sure pumpkin.
Michelle: What's on the other side of the street then boy ?
Michelle stares over the street...
Jesse: I don't see anything.
Michelle: Me neither.
On the other side of the street, a young boy suddenly crosses while a car approaches. Suddenly Comet starts running. Michelle looses grip of his belt, and she sees Comet running over the street...
Michelle: Come back here!
Comet pushes the boy away, a car brakes...
Jesse: (Pulling Michelle so her head turns) You can better not watch this.
When the braking sound stops, they look at the street again and they see Comet lying in front of the car.
Michelle: No, Comet!
Michelle runs towards Comet, followed by Jesse...
Michelle: Hey boy, can you hear me ?
Lady: That dog saved my son.
Jesse and Michelle kneel down by Comet, who looks at them with a sad look in his face...
Michelle: You are in pain, aren't you boy.
Jesse: Hang on Comet. We'll get you to the vet.
Comet howls. He then gets his head up, and licks Jesse's face. Then he looks at Michelle and licks her face as well. Michelle strokes him over the head. A peeping sound leaves his throat. Then he closes his eyes...
Michelle: No, Comet! Stay with us boy. You can't die. I love you.
Jesse: Comet. Comet ?
Michelle looks at Jesse, who puts his hand on Comet's body.
Jesse: I'm sorry. (He starts crying) He's gone.
Michelle grabs Jesse. They hug each other, and sit down, crying...

Later, we find everybody in the living room...
Michelle: I can't believe Comet's gone.
Stephanie: Me neither. He was such a good dog.
Danny: Yeah. Especially after I taught him to clean up his own plate.
Nicky: Mommy, where is Comet now ?
Becky: Well, all dogs go to dog heaven.
Alex: Where is that ?
Jesse: It's a place far away from here.
Nicky: Will Comet like it there ?
Joey: You bet he will. It's full of fire hydrants to lift a back leg against. Toilet bowls to drink from and of course a lot of bones to bury. Oh man, I nearly wish I was a dog.
Michelle: It's all my fault. I should have turned around immediately when he stopped. Then this would have never happened.
Jesse: Now listen shorty, I don't want to hear you blaming yourself, right ?
Danny: Comet was an old dog, honey. Maybe if you went home, he would still have lived. But it's hard to tell for how long.
DJ: And now he saved a little boy from being hit by a car.
Joey: Yeah, actually he died like a hero. Just like Farley.
Alex: Who's Farley ?
Joey: Farley was a dog that once saved a girl from a river, but died himself.
Nicky: Just like Comet then.
Jesse: Yeah, just like Comet. I remember when we first got him, I was not quite pleased with that then. But it didn't take me long to love that dog. And you know what, I'll miss him. No more unexpected sleepovers in my bed. No more chewed slippers.
Danny: No more extra dustbuster duties when he's losing hair. I'll really miss him.
Michelle: No more walks with him. That's what I'll miss most. And of course the tricks he could do.
Stephanie: Like rolling over when you asked for a paw, and sitting up when you told him to lie down.
Joey: I loved to play with him with his rubber pork chop. And he was such a nice Pluto when I pretended to be Goofy.
Jesse: Since when do you pretend to be goofy ?
DJ: It's sad. But like Joey said. He died like a hero.
Danny: Yeah, he died like a hero, and I think we should remember him like that. A good dog, that gave his life for a little boy.
Michelle: If you put it like that, I feel a little less sad.
Nicky: Me too!
Alex: Me three!
Michelle: Maybe we should have a minute of silence for him.
Danny: Good idea. So let's all be silent for a minute now then.
All are silent, and hold each other...

The next morning, we find Danny in the kitchen, when Stephanie walks in...
Stephanie: Morning dad. So how's the intestines today ?
Danny: Much better, thanks for asking.
Stephanie: I think I made my choice for the future.
Danny: You did ? Oh my god. I bet you're now going to tell me you want to go to a university on the other side of the country, and you want to study something dirty ?
Stephanie: Something like that yeah.
Danny: Oh honey, what do I have to do to talk you out of it ?
Stephanie: Nothing at all. I was looking so hard, that I forgot to look at what I really like, and what I could do. But yesterday, everything added up.
Danny: Before you continue honey, I want you to know that it doesn't matter what you choose. As long as it's something that you're happy with, I'm happy.
Stephanie: Really ?
Danny: Yeah. I know I might have made some comments about your choice recently, but you know I have problems letting you go. But if you think you're happy going to college on the other end of the country, then I will not stop you. I want you to be happy, and that's more important to me than the distance between us.
Stephanie: Thanks dad.
Danny: But what have you picked then.
Stephanie: I'm thinking of following your footsteps and do something with television. That interview yesterday, it felt so... natural.
Danny: You were doing great sweetheart. I watched that tape yesterday, and you know what I saw ? I saw my daughter having an interview. But you know what else I saw ? I saw talent.
Stephanie: You did ?
Danny: Yes I did. I just know that this is a very good choice for you. You like to talk, just like me, and what I saw yesterday was talent. I think you can get far in journalism or television.
Stephanie: Thanks dad. And don't worry about the distance. Yesterday evening, when we were all thinking about Comet, I realized that we are a happy bunch. We're always there for each other. And I think being too far away from my family would just make me feel sad. So, I want to try to get in to San Francisco State University. That way I can commute to college every day.
Danny: I'm glad to hear that honey. Because I would miss you too if you were gone far away. And SFSU is a great university.

Later, we find the entire family in the city, near a fire hydrant, holding flowers...
Jesse: Dear family, we're gathered here to say goodbye to a great friend, and a hero, Comet, at his favorite fire hydrant.
Michelle: Comet, where ever you are boy, I will always remember you. You're my hero.
Danny: Goodbye, my hairy friend.
Everybody puts down their flowers on the ground. Michelle sticks a photo of Comet on the hydrant.
Michelle: Goodbye Comet. Now, do we all know what to do ?
Jesse: Do we have to ? There's people watching us.
Becky: Ah, come on Jess, it's the last honor to Comet.
Jesse: Alright, alright.
Everybody grabs somebody's hand. They look into the sky and all start to imitate dog howling....

----------------------------------------- End Tune ----------------------------------------------

Characters in this episode:
Jesse: Jesse Katsopolis
Danny: Danny Tanner
Joey: Joey Gladstone
DJ: DJ Tanner-Hale
Stephanie: Stephanie tanner
Michelle: Michelle Tanner
Becky:Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson-Katsopolis
Nicky: Nicky Katsopolis >
Alex: Alex Katsopolis
Steve: Steve Hale
Kimmy: Kimmy Gibbler
Gia: Gia Mahan
Pam: Pam Hale (DJ's baby)
Comet: The dog

Guest characters:
Director: Director from Wake Up San Francisco
Jed: Owner of the new restaurant
Lady: Mother of kid that nearly got ran over

Full House (The new episodes)
(47) 239 - last Action Retriever
Stephanie has to make a choice for her future, but is having problems picking a study. According to the vet, Comet is getting old for a dog, which explains some complaints he recently got.

Story Idea
Martin van Dam

Written by
Martin van Dam

Full House was originally created by
Jeff Franklin


Copyright (c)
Martin van Dam, 2004