Full House Scripts - Season 2

Episode 024 * Tanner vs. Gibbler


In Michelle's room...
Jesse: Michelle you wanna go sleepy?
Michelle: No.
Joey: What do you want to do. Stay up all night?
Michelle: No.
Jesse: Is Mr. Horsey tired?
Michelle: No.
Joey: Hey, are you gonna say anything but no?
Michelle: No.
Joey: Hmmm. What's your favorite James Bond Movie? Would it happen to be doctor. . .
Michelle: No.
Jesse: Well Joeseph, it seems like we are unable to put a two year old to bed.
Joey: Hm. Is it possible she's smarter than us?
Michelle: Yeah.
Jesse and Joey laugh

In the Kitchen
Danny: Ok Michelle here is a handy hint. If you put masking tape around your hand sticky side out, it is useful for removing that unsightly lint from jacket of sweater.
Jesse: That's something every toddler should know.
DJ: Ok I made the list of food I need for Kimmy's surprise birthday party. Grape soda, orange soda, caramel corn, cherry licorice, and ice cream.
Joey: Why shop? Just put out a bowl of white sugar. (Phone rings while Danny gets it)
Danny: Ah I'll get it. Hello. I'll be right there. Bye Bye. (hangs up) That was my boss. He wants me down at the station right away. He says he has got some good news. Actually he says big news. Woo that could be bad news. Why didn't he say? Why didn't I ask him. I'll worry on the way. Bye honey. Bye bye. (he leaves)
Joey: Why does he make himself so crazy?
Jesse: I don't know. But on the plus side there is no lint on the phone.

On the Set of Wake Up San Francisco
Mr. Strowbridge: : Now here it is. The set of Wake Up San Francisco. You like it?
Becky: Like it? I love it. I could live here. All this place needs is a sink a toaster oven and maybe a wall right about there. Oh I can't wait to meet my co-host.
Mr. Strowbridge: : Oh Danny Tanner should be here any second.
Becky: Terrific. (Danny rushes by)
Mr. Strowbridge: : That was him. He'll be back.
Danny: (comes back)Oh there you are
Mr. Strowbridge: . Excuse me Miss. I could not wait to hear the big news. Just out of curiosity sir is it big good news.
Mr. Strowbridge: : Very good news. Tonight will be your last sports cast.
Danny: It's interesting how one man's good is another man's bad.
Mr. Strowbridge: : Tanner?
Danny: What did I do? I'm always on time. I. . the ratings are up. I never step in the weather mans's jokes. Who are you gonna get to replace me?
Mr. Strowbridge: : Tanner Tanner. I'd like you to meet the newest member of the Channel 6 family. Miss Rebecca Donaldson.
Becky: It's wonderful to meet you.
Danny: It's wonderful to meet you too. You're going to hire her?? Oh please don't take any of this personally. But are you out of your mind? Please don't take that personally either sir? It's just. . . Before you except this job if you could just look at my three little girls. You can't see their feet but boy do they go through shoes.
Becky: Cute kids.
Mr. Strowbridge: : You're not being fired. You and Rebecca will be co-hosting Wake Up San Francisco.
Danny: Really?
Mr. Strowbridge: : Uh-huh.
Danny: You're serious ?
Mr. Strowbridge: : Uh huh.
Danny: I'm the new host of Wake Up San Fransisco.
Becky: Co-host.
Danny: I could live with that.
Mr. Strowbridge: : Oh thank you thank you.
Danny: Oh this is great (hugs Becky)You'll get used to this. I hug everybody.
Becky: I like people who hug.
Mr. Strowbridge: : This is just what I was hoping for. Chemistry. That's what going to take us from number three to number one. That and the fact that they moved Wheel of Fortune. San Francisco is gonna fall in love with you too. You'll be fine. You'll be great. You'll be starting Monday.
Danny: Monday?
Becky: Well that's the best way to do it. Just jump right in there and have fun.
Danny: Just jump right in there and have fun? It's gonna take hours and hours of relentless rehearsals to make it look like where having fun.
Becky: Unless we actually are having fun.
Danny: Rebecca no offense but have you ever hosted a talk show before?
Becky: As a matter of fact I have. AM Omaha for two years. How about you. Have you ever hosted a talk show ?
Danny: That's kind of personal.

In the Tanner living room...
DJ: It's party time. Almost. Hey Michelle you are supposed to be in the kitchen. Not carrying around pretzels. (Michelle drops them) It's ok Michelle. I'll clean it up.
Jesse enters, everyone is quiet
Jesse: Michelle. What are you doing here? What happened. Alright. Come on DJ this is a party. Why is everyone so quiet.
DJ: They think you're cute.
Jesse: Where were they when I was twelve ?
DJ: Not born. Bye-bye.
Jesse: Bye. (leaves)
DJ: Ok I promise that was the last interruption . Ok that's Kimmy. Everyone get ready.
The door opens...
Everyone: Surprise.
Stephanie: For me. You shouldn't have.
DJ: We didn't. What are you doing down here?
Stephanie: I just wanted to check the mail. Nothing yet. Ah pretzels. (eats off floor)Don't mind if I do
DJ: Well I mind if you do. Stephanie please go upstairs.
Stephanie: Oh dear me. I almost forgot. I do have a super duper party waiting for me upstairs. Hello. What a pretty sweater. Love your hair. We must do this again sometime. (leaves)
DJ: Oh, that is Kimmy. Shh.
The door opens again...
Everyone: Surprise.
Kimmy: Surprise? A surprise party for me? What a surprise! DJ these are the two friends you said I could invite. Nina and Melissa. There in Junior High.
Everyone: Ohhh.
DJ: I'm DJ. I'm glad you could make it.
Nina: We wouldn't miss a party for our new pal Kammy.
DJ: Her name is Kimmy.
Kimmy: They ware lipstick. They can call me whatever they want.
Nina: This party is dead. Hey is your dad home?
DJ: No he's gone.
Melissa: Good. This is a great party house.
DJ: Thanks.
Nina: Much better than the place we trashed last week.
Melissa: Uh where is the phone?
Nina: Oh it's over here. Let's call Greg Andy and Duke.
DJ: Uh before you call any dukes do you mind telling me what you're doing?
Nina: Don't worry. And then now we will have 50 or 60 kids here.
Melissa: Hello Duke? What is the address here?(DJ takes phone)
DJ: Hello Duke this is a crank call.
Melissa: What a dweeb!
DJ: Hey this party is not for you and your friends. It's a party for Kimmy and her friends.
Kimmy: DJ your messing everything up. Don't you get it . They're is Junior High.
DJ: Who cares.
Nina: This is a land of the lame. Come on Kimmy. Let's get out of here.
DJ: Kimmy you can't leave your own birthday party.
Kimmy: You can't tell me what to do.
DJ: I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just saying don't act dumb.
Kimmy: Oh now I'm dumb.
Melissa: You are if you stay here. Come on the mall's open till nine.
Kimmy: Let's do it. (they leave)

In DJ and Stephanie's room...
Stephanie: There will be no talking in class. Everyone turn to page. . Mr. Bear. If it's so funny why don't you share it will everybody. (DJ walks in) Hi DJ you wanna play school ?
DJ: No I want to quit school.
Stephanie: Is it because you ate lunch by yourself today?
DJ: I was not eating by myself. I was eating alone. There is a big difference.
Stephanie: Any questions class? Yes Mr. bear. Mr. Bear wants to know why everyone in school is calling you a geek burger.
DJ: Mr. Bear is going to the principal's office.
Stephanie: That's the cafeteria. I told them you were not a geek burger and then they called me a geek burger Junior. How rude!
DJ: It's all Kimmy's fault. She hates my guts cause I wouldn't let her stupid friends take over the party and wreck my house. Now she turned the whole school against me.
Stephanie: Don't feel bad. I know you're not a geek burger.
DJ: Thanks and you're not a geek burger JR.
Stephanie: Thanks back. But until this blows over I think I'll change my name. . . . . to Connie Chung.

In the Living room...
Joey: Danny the TV is fine. Will you stop Windexing . Come on we are dying to watch your first show,
Danny: Ok Ok.
Stephanie: Don't show the tape until Uncle Jesse gets here.
Danny: Oh the tape. I knew I forgot something.
Becky: No I have it. It's in my bag.
Danny: What a team. I forgot and you remember.
Becky: Here it is. (Jesse runs in and turns to see Becky)
Jesse: It's a groovy. . . . . Have mercy. Hi.
Becky: Hi you must be Jesse. Danny's brother in law. Danny told me about you.
Jesse: Oh yeah. What did he say?
Becky: He said he had a brother in law named Jesse.
Jesse: Oh thanks for the buildup pal. So you must be uh Rebecca.
Becky: No, please call me Becky.
Jesse: Becky. I like that. Becky Becky Becky. Uh so Becky. I was gonna go get something to drink. Would you like something ?
Becky: Sure what have you got,
Jesse: What do you like ?
Becky: Whatever you have.
Jesse: Why don't we get it together?
Becky: Ok.
Jesse: That's fascinating. I can see why you have your own talk show.
Danny: DJ, is everything ok?
DJ: Yeah dad. I can't wait to watch your show.

In the Kitchen.
Jesse: So have you. . . have you found an apartment yet?
Becky: Oh I found plenty of them. Problem is they all have people living inside.
Jesse: People? (laughs) I find a sense of humor very attractive in a woman.
Becky: You know this is gonna sound wired. But you remind me of someone.
Jesse: Oh yeah. Who is that?
Becky: It's silly. You don't want to hear it.
Jesse: No go ahead.
Becky: No it's ridiculous.
Jesse: People tell me all the time. Go ahead. Come on pretty mama lay it on me.
Becky: You remind me of Corky.
Jesse: Yeah see. . people tell me. . . . . Corky?
Becky: My little baby brother. You know he used to do that same cute Elvis voice.
Jesse: I remind you of your little baby brother?
Becky: Yeah. it's uncanny. Corky and I would go up to the pond and he would always say 'come on little froggy mama'.
Jesse: Elvis never said that.
Becky: You really are cute.
Jesse: We are so far from where I want to be.

In DJ and Stephanie's room:
Jesse: DJ phone. Kimmy.
DJ: I got it. (picks up phone and hangs up)
Jesse: DJ. What did you do that for?
DJ: I hate Kimmy. She went to her party with friends to wreck the house and I told her no and she left. doorbell rings
Jesse: I think that is Kimmy. Go answer that and say sorry.

DJ: Hi.
Kimmy: Hi.
DJ: So go ahead.
Kimmy: Go ahead what?
DJ: Apologize.
Kimmy: Huh?
DJ: Isn't that why you came here.
Kimmy: No. My mom told me to come and get my presents.
DJ: But if you don't apologize, how can I forgive you.
Kimmy: Forgive me for what? Getting kicked out of me own party?
DJ: I didn't kick you out. You left.
Kimmy: Because you embarrassed me in front of Nina and Melissa.
DJ: What's wrong with you. I can't believe you would rather be friends with girls who really are not your friends then friends with the friend who already was your friend.
Kimmy: I don't know what you just said. But same to you geek burger.
DJ: Don't call me that Kimmy Garbler.
Kimmy: Double geek burger with cheese.
DJ: I hate you.
Kimmy: I hate you too. Mail me my presents.
DJ: Wait you can't leave. How could you call me all those names in school.
Kimmy: I was not the only one. Everyone was calling you the G-words.
DJ: But you are supposed to be me friend.
Kimmy: Best friend.
DJ: Best friend. Well you know if we don't make up how are we going to share our lockers in Junior High ?.
Kimmy: We won't be able to go to college together.
DJ: And we won't be able to marry identical twins and be congress woman.
Kimmy: We've got to make up our lives. Or we will be ruined. DJ I am really sorry. I'm sorry I brought those dumb Junior High girls to the party. I'm sorry I left with them. I'm sorry that I told everyone you were a geek burger. 'm sorry they dumped me when they met those two cute guys at the mall. I'm the geek burger.
DJ: Don't ever say that about my best friend. Wait. You never opened your birthday present. Happy birthday.
Kimmy: Wow. This is like the raddest hat in the entire universe.
DJ: Should be. It cost a fortune.
Kimmy: What do you wanna do now.
DJ: Why don't we open all your birthday presents and then go to the mall and exchange them ?
Kimmy: But I might like them.
DJ: No you won't Believe me, I already opened them.


Episode Information:
First shown: 1988
Directed by: John Bowab
Written by: Lenny Ripps

Guest Cast:
Nina: Ami Foster
Melissa: Kimberly Dunham
Mr. Strowbridge: : Richard Paul

Script edited by: Eric Mattina
Lay-out: Martin van Dam
Written for: Full House Forever

Released: 07/01/2001